For the fans of Jim & Bob

[GenoNBBL]

One of the guys I play BB with wrote up a J&B style game report for a game he played in the other day, I thought some of you would appericiate this so i'm posting it here.

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One-Eyed Savages Vs Kanzas City Chiefs
Jim & Bob commentary written by Gary Fenn

Pre-Game report:

"Hi there sports fans, we're bringing you this preview LIVE from the Thorpe stadium, where tonight two teams from the past battle it out for the Toosday Bowl! We have the dash and grind of the ONE-EYED SAVAGES, versus the storming might of the KANZAS CITY CHIEFS."


"Yes thanks Bob, the arena is JAM-PACKED and the home team the Kanzas City Chiefs are doing laps of the field as a warm-up, already four members of the audience have been eate- no, make that six as a rampant Ogre breaks for lunch."


"Yeah, I can't wait for this one, after a FOUR-YEAR hiatus from the Blood Bowl arenas the One-Eyed Savages, former Canvey champs and Sugar Bowl warriors, make their triumphant return. Rumour has it Big Ernie has been touring the independents looking for opposition, but has agreed to come back to see if the team are still up to scratch. We're boiling for that one! But what about those Kanzas City Chiefs, Jim?"


"Well, those Kanzas City Chiefs are old hands themselves. Before the major rule reformations of '96, the Chiefs were an Orc powerhouse who had a run of success in the old NAF. They have reformed under the same management to reclaim some of that former glory! Everybody wants a piece of that blood-stained pie!"


"Also Jim, the rumour has it that the head coach of the MiddenHeap MudThirsters will be in attendance talent scouting, as the winner will be facing them at a venue to be decided... exciting times. Exciting times indeed."


"Thanks Bob. Back to the studio..."


Game report:

Announcer: "Thank you for those words from our sponsor, Chaos Sweetkhorne-on-the-cob - mmm-mmm! And now, down to the Thorpe stadium for the inaugural Toosday Bowl, with your hosts, Jim and Bob!"

"Well thanks. It's a beautiful sunny day here in the Thorpe stadium, not too warm and little breeze. Perfect 'Bowl weather!"

"That's right Jim, a beauty! Let's take a look at the two teams tussling today. The One-Eyed Savages versus the Kansas City Chiefs. Both Orc, so don't expect any finesse, but expect a whole lotta bonecrunching! Say it with me, MORE CARNAGE!"

"Uh, Bob..."

"Well Jim, I think we are in for a rare treat. The two coaches-"

"Bob..."

"-are real experienced, and honestly, should have been bumped off by now. Harryk-"

"BOB!"

"Sorry Jim, what is- holy guacamole!"

"Sorry fans, I think we're about to experience one of those random events that makes Blood Bowl gripping viewing! There's a dirigible hovering into the stadium, the fans are ominously quiet... the players are stunned, but that's Orcs for you... what's that logo on the underneath Bob?"

"If I'm not mistaken (and I rarely am!) that's the emblem of the Wizard's Guild! Are they still protesting about the use of only one Wizard per game?"

"I think that's right Bob. They appear to be charging up some kinda spell, here we goWOOOOOOOOO-"

"..."

"-OOOOOOOOAH! Man, I hate being the victim of spells, gives me that fuzzy gym-rope feeling..."

"Well Jim, I reckon by those banners we have been transported to a NEUTRAL STADIUM! Double-checking with my handy Blood Bowl '02 Season Companion (available at the gift shop folks!) we're at the Itza Stadium, home to one or more Lizard teams! And it's nighttime! The floodlights are ON!"

"That companion fits so neatly into a poncho or cagoule, wouldn't you agree Bob?"

"Absolutely. I take mine everywhere. Anywho, the coaches are on the field, reassuring the team and telling them to get started. As I was saying earlier, Harryk Stilton and Rich Roberts are two seasoned coaches, with many teams experience behind them, and it's not like they haven't met before. Remember the racket of old '98?"

"How could I forget?"

"And the Deathbowl '94 end of season finale? All GREAT matches."

"Well Bob, the ref is on the pitch, "Grouchy" Jones, and he's giving the signal to kick-off. Let's play Blood Bowl!"

"Alright Jim, the Savages won the toss earlier and are receiving - a wise move as two of their players got mislaid in the displacement. I assume they will be with us shortly. The stocky number 6 for the Chiefs takes the kick... it's high..."

"Did you see that? Cranky McCog of the One-Eyes has struck one of the Chiefs with a rock from the pitch! What a dirty trick!"

"That seems to have really fired up the KC Thrower - he's injecting himself with some kind of serum? He's hulking up!"

"The Savages are going to have a tough time keeping that guy down. But Kanzas City are taking the opportunity to reorganise their defence, as the ball comes down! It scatters wide, nowehere near a Savage. Big Ernie, the hulking Ogre, pushes forward, looking for an easy block, meanwhile the Throwers and Linemen close in on the ball..."

"Nasty bit of pushing and shoving up on the scrimmage as the Black Orcs of both teams wade in to sort the orcs from the gobbos. Speaking of which, this match will see the meeting of Zak McBuzz and the fresh number 13 from the KCC. Goblin versus goblin in the throwdown showdown. We'll come back to that as the show goes on. Look now! The star KC Blitzer is following the wake left by the Chiefs' ogre, dashing towards the ball!"

"It's looking touch and go for the Savages Bob, as that Blitzer makes a dash for the ball - oh no! He's fumbled it like a cheap bar of soap! It's bouncing into the path of a Savage Lineman, but a swift punch to the nose retains the ball for the KC. He's making the run, looks good..."

"Look at that drugged-up thrower Jim - the Black orcs have ganged up on the plucky guy, and he refuses to stay down!"

"It looks all too late as the Blitzer romps one home. 1-0 to the Chiefs!"

"Amazing play Jim. That's the perfect example of what Blitzer is all about - rushing and crushing, followed by the all important TD!"

"The crowd sure loved that one. I'd hate to be selling rat-on-a-stick to the One-Eye fans right now!"

"As the players file back into position, its worth noting that the remaining players that got left behind have just arrived. Bernard the Black Orc and Rucken Reddy have finally made it. They go to join the line-up as the Chiefs kick-off once again!"

"This time it's a straight face-off between the ogres, as Big Ernie takes a swipe at the other big guy, but Ernie crashes into the ground. Oh no - the other Chiefs are crowding round for a good stomp. Good for them the ref's not looking..."

"But look at this - while Ernie's down, the plucky KC goblin has dashed into the Savages' half, stolen the ball and torn off back to the ogre! He's hoisted into the air, thrown... it's good... it's good.. it's..."

"...NOT GOOD. The little guy splatters all over the floor in shades of green, and the ball scatters similarly. Cranky McCog seems to be making a run for the far end, awaiting the ball..."

"But after one more bone-crunching tackle by the KC Blockers, the ref calls half-time. Those Savages Linemen just weren't fast enough."

"Wow. For an orc team, that was a pretty fast game Bob. The Mows triplets have been uncharacteristically quiet for the One-Eyes, but maybe they are finding their BB feet?"

"What about that Kanzas Thrower Jim? What resilience!"

"Absolutely. As the players leave the pitch, let's get a word from our sponsors... BryllGreen, the hair product of choice for orcs, goblins and fimir..."

<cut to Cabalvision ads>

"Welcome back, fans of the grimiron! The Savages are straining at the bit to get back their touchdown, whilst the Chiefs look cocky at holding back the offense. But to start, Savages will kick."

"Stad Roofrak makes the kick, but it spins back into their own half. Touchback to the Chiefs. The ogre gets the ball again, with the gobbo wrapped around it...OH MY GOD! He's slipped out of his hand!"

"Sheesh Jim, I wouldn't like to be THAT green stain. The ball is bouncing all over the shop! Vinne Mows tries to grab - fails! Ice Burg, the Chiefs Thrower tries to grab - fails! Will this ball stop still! Woah, it's straight into the crowd. As a fight breaks out, the ball is hurled back into play. It's bouncing towards the Endzone, and Zak McBuzz is hurled towards it! He scoops it up and dashes into the end to level it for the Savages, it's 1-1!"

"Wow Bob, quick thinking by Big Ern, luzzing Zak into the waiting gods of touchdown..."

"Not sure what you mean there Jim, but I'm sure it's interesting. Anyways, look at the hustle down on the wing! The linemen and the blockers are pushing back and forth - it's getting pretty busy over there as the ball sails that way... and now Ernie gets over there! But his opposite has tripped him over and keeping him there. Neutralise the offense, that's what it's all about. Speaking of which, Ice Burg has taken a MASSIVE thump to the head from the combined greenskins.. but look at this, he's getting back up! The resilience of that guy!"

"Well Bob, again that ball is like soap on a zygote. Nobody can keep a hold of it!"

"Hey Jim, it seems like Throttle Mows is making a break for it, off down the far end... meanwhile there's a great fight breaking out over the other wing. A gaggle of Blockers and Blitzers, all assisting each other - looks like a bit of a stalemate... but a useful distraction as the Savages's star Blitzer tears towards the endzone."

"Seems like time is ticking away... one of KC's linemen is trying to slow Throttle, but falls over as he dashes towards him. The ball is picked up... but there's not enough time to get it into the endzone, the seconds die... so Throttle pulls back his foot and launches a mighty kick that sends it soaring."

"IT'S GOOD!"

"What a shocker, a big surprise score in the dying seconds. But what a great game and return to form for both coaches. They may be well impressed with both team's performance."

"All that remains now is to clear up the blood, and for the teams to find their way back to their dugouts... that are about 700 miles away..."

"But, that's all for now. For me Jim, and Bob-"

"See ya folks."

"-good evening, and see you next time - for BLOOD BOWL!"

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Hope you enjoyed reading it guys

[DaImp]

most enjoyable

thx GenoNBBL!

[Sputnik]

Geally good stuff!

Are you going to issue more of this???

Sputnik