This is intended both for entertainment, and as a public service, helping coaches as they're choosing their teams. It might be important to know which specific kind of degenerate deviant people will assume that you are beyond the general 'Blood Bowl Player'.
I'm not calling out specific coaches here, but if the shoe fits ...
Dwarf Coaches
What people think of you:
You're a coward and a bully; you don't mind losing games but you can't stand the thought of your team getting beat up while that's happening. As long as your opponent is having a miserable time, you feel like you must be doing okay. And boy are you good at making others miserable.
What you'd be doing if you weren't playing Blood Bowl:
Stealing lunch money from school children.
Human Coaches
What people think of you:
You're probably a boring person and definitely have the imagination of a brick wall. Humans come in the box, so why try anything else? In a game with dozens of choices from epic fantasy to necrotic horror, you chose the most generic team with the least fantasy wonder.
What you'd be doing if you weren't playing Blood Bowl:
Replying to posts on internet forums to crrect spelling mistakes.
Chaos Coaches
What people think of you:
You're loud and 'boisterous', screaming war cries as you roll your dice and breaking tables with your dice cup. You think you're adding an element of 'atmosphere' to your games and tournaments, but really you're just an irritating @$$hole. You wear black concert T-shirts to every occasion.
What you'd be doing if you weren't playing Blood Bowl:
Mosh pit, sports hooligan, or any other setting where getting drunk and starting fights is socially acceptable or at least tolerated.
Halfling Coaches
What people think of you:
You suck at Blood Bowl, and what better way to disguise that than playing the worst team in the game? You're not fooling anyone, but at least losing badly with the 'flings isn't as embarrassing as when people think you're trying.
What you'd be doing if you weren't playing Blood Bowl:
Waiting in traffic behind a parked car.
Wood Elf Coaches
What people think of you:
You're an irritating, entitled prick who thinks that the game exists for your benefit and other coaches exist only to praise your coaching skills. You genuinely have no idea why everyone else despises you and your team, if you even notice. You could solve this by just not acting like an utter sh*thead for thirty seconds. But if you were that kind of person, you wouldn't be playing Woodies in the first place.
What you'd be doing if you weren't playing Blood Bowl:
"Influencer"
Norse Coaches
What people think of you:
You're not an alcoholic - you're a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings. You chose the most idiot-proof team in the game for one reason - so that you can drink yourself silly before breakfast without impacting your on-field performance. Just roll block dice and drink.
What you'd be doing if you weren't playing Blood Bowl:
No big change, just start drinking at 9 in the morning without even the excuse of a board game. Who are we kidding, you're probably drunk right now.
Dark Elf Coaches
What people think of you:
You're as annoying as the Wood Elf coaches, but with a mean streak. It's not enough to win games, you have to twist a few arms while you're at it. You're the reason why people quit Blood Bowl.
What you'd be doing if you weren't playing Blood Bowl:
Writing smarmy posts on TFF about how you're better than other coaches and ... ... oh. I see.
Sorry everyone.
Plenty more races, what does everyone else think?
