How to cheat at Tabletop
Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2016 9:33 am
Some people think that Blood Bowl is "only a game" or even, hilariously, "ought to be fun"!
These idiots are exactly the kind of suckers you need to prey on in order to realize the true meaning of Blood Bowl: Crushing your so-called "friends" and making them regret ever wasting their time playing against you!
Remember, if you're not cheating, you're not trying!
(Disclaimer: Just in case it isn't obvious, this post is fully sarcastic. Don't actually do any of these! Trying any of this crap is liable to get you kicked out of your league/tournament, punched in the face, and worse, spoil everyone's enjoyment of the game!)
- Use very light resin or plastic figures, and put them on a heavy, unstable base. This way, "accidentally" bumping the table can cause your figures to stand up like a weeble wobble, saving you valuable movement and maybe even Blitz actions!
- If you need to run out the clock, advance your turn marker when your opponent isn't looking. Then, at the start of the next turn, accuse him of forgetting to move his marker last turn. Generously offer to not apply illegal procedure as long as he "corrects" it.
- Play incredibly slowly until a referee puts both you and your opponent on the clock. This will frustrate your opponent and cause him to make mistakes.
(I've actually played against people at tournaments who do this, it's incredibly irritating).
- Don't actually roll the dice and leave important rolls to chance! On a smooth board, you can put the 6 on top and toss the die at a very shallow angle, so it just slides across the board instead of rolling.
- If a valuable player is in the CAS box, just take your reserves out of there instead of the reserves box.
- If you need to move a player a square or so, just knock him over with a die roll and set him up again where he needs to be.
- Who has Tackle? Whoever's hitting a player with Dodge!
- Out of rerolls? Not if you're using a single reroll marker! Just advance by two at the start of your turn, say "oops, wrong marker", pull it back one, and move your turn marker.
- Start your turn with a few of your players looking in the wrong direction. With any luck, this will confuse your opponent enough to let you take two actions with at least a player or two.
Any other helpful tricks and tips?
These idiots are exactly the kind of suckers you need to prey on in order to realize the true meaning of Blood Bowl: Crushing your so-called "friends" and making them regret ever wasting their time playing against you!
Remember, if you're not cheating, you're not trying!
(Disclaimer: Just in case it isn't obvious, this post is fully sarcastic. Don't actually do any of these! Trying any of this crap is liable to get you kicked out of your league/tournament, punched in the face, and worse, spoil everyone's enjoyment of the game!)
- Use very light resin or plastic figures, and put them on a heavy, unstable base. This way, "accidentally" bumping the table can cause your figures to stand up like a weeble wobble, saving you valuable movement and maybe even Blitz actions!
- If you need to run out the clock, advance your turn marker when your opponent isn't looking. Then, at the start of the next turn, accuse him of forgetting to move his marker last turn. Generously offer to not apply illegal procedure as long as he "corrects" it.
- Play incredibly slowly until a referee puts both you and your opponent on the clock. This will frustrate your opponent and cause him to make mistakes.
(I've actually played against people at tournaments who do this, it's incredibly irritating).
- Don't actually roll the dice and leave important rolls to chance! On a smooth board, you can put the 6 on top and toss the die at a very shallow angle, so it just slides across the board instead of rolling.
- If a valuable player is in the CAS box, just take your reserves out of there instead of the reserves box.
- If you need to move a player a square or so, just knock him over with a die roll and set him up again where he needs to be.
- Who has Tackle? Whoever's hitting a player with Dodge!
- Out of rerolls? Not if you're using a single reroll marker! Just advance by two at the start of your turn, say "oops, wrong marker", pull it back one, and move your turn marker.
- Start your turn with a few of your players looking in the wrong direction. With any luck, this will confuse your opponent enough to let you take two actions with at least a player or two.
Any other helpful tricks and tips?