Seeing as all the other gits are posting their reports I figured I should tell the tale of what happened to the Gobbos...who still think everything was rigged and demand a better accounting of pre-game bribes.
1st Game - The Crushers, Dwarves, Paul Vlamis.
Hard to believe the first game could decide everything later, but it's here that the winner of 2nd place was determined. 7 boneheads in the first Five turns quickly decided that the Scum were going to be on the defence. Irony was that the Troll-slayers went down to the Trolls! The game degenerated into a wonderful laugh fest as poor Paul had trouble keeping a straight-face as the Goblin's coach berated his team for it's incredible incompetence. 2 Deaths, 3 Critical and 4 Badly Hurts and the Stunties marched on to an incredible Many-0 win. (That's what the scoreboard at Ivor Biggin stadium said...bug the host for photos.) Never have I lost a game so badly and enjoyed every moment of it.
2nd Game - The Dudes Who Hit Hard, Norse, Gabe Hinman
Looks like the karma that ran over my gobma came back to haunt my opponent. Fouls galore ran across the field as Hob-nobbed boots laid the beats into the norse. Accusations of a biased Halfling ref appear as time and again the Scum were called, only to win the arguement! Classic moment was having his Minotaur blow a 3 dice attack on a lowly Goblin, have his armour crack and end up a statistic! With the Goblins getting their first win of the tournament the Norse went on a fouling rampage, racking up the casualties they needed to pull ahead of the Scum in that catagory.
3rd Game - D.O.A., Dwarves, Ethan Rippon
With things looking good, the officials saw fit to put the fix back on and send the OTHER dwarf team against the Goblins. (Funny, when did the top Skaven take on two dwarves huh?) And it looked good for a while as the Scum took a quick lead on a dwarf turn-over...then it went all down-hill from there. Three ejections on fouls, boneheaded blitzs and THREE triple skulls with the Trolls made it possible for them to get ahead 2-1. When the Goblins got even close to evening the score, well time to blow all the easy rolls and trip on a simple dodge twice. At least this game was close and I only suffered 4 casualties and no deaths.
4th Game - Chaos Wasters, Chaos, Tom Anders
Great, I am facing a man who uses a Storm-Giant for a ref. And having him a halfling coach of some experience means he knows all the evil tricks I can pull with a bunch of stunties! Well if the Scum are going out their going the way they came in...fleeing for their lives. Right off the first drive he sends one of the Trolls off with a removed leg, which fails to regenerate of course! The Goblins somehow manage to knock several of his team to his ground, but can't get the boots to penetrate any of his thicker than hell armour. Soon he's up 1-0, and I get to have the fun of driving back. A mad scrabble up the side-line ends with me losing possession, but with him unable to get a score. 2nd half is a nail-biter, he manages to drive the Scum all the way deep into their own end before they manage to even get the ball! At this point, seeing as I've failed every "easy" play, time to go "insane gobbo!". And so begins a wild dash up the side-line by TBBF legend Zippy Hands past the entire Wasters. Tom fires 8 Block dice and I have to make 9 dodges to get into the endzone. The next kick-off is my worst result, touch-back and quick-snap. It should be an easy score...and now the Scum pull off the miracle to stop the last drive, dodging through HIS ENTIRE TEAM to get back, stop the ball, get the ball, and hurl it back up. In all it was something like Twenty-six dodge rolls, 8 GFI and miracle blocks. Meanwhile he again just couldn't knock a single player down.
Overtime: The Scum win their first flip all tournament, and so grab the kick-off. The Fans chuck a rock and nail his piling-on Chaos warrior to the K.O. box, thinning the defence. (As Tom noted I was the only coach who had a higher FF, 9 to his 5.) The Gobs begin fouling and remove another Beast-warrior, but get called on the play. As Chaos raced down the side for the grounded ball the Scum began swinging around to find a way to get the ball. Again they managed to grab it, including many miracle dodges and several GFI's to turn the ball over. And they begin the mad swing around the field and down the other side of the field. Slowly the Scum managed a wild march down the field, while the rest of the team tied up the Chaos players at every step. Finally the Scum entered with the winning TD in the last play of OT. This had to be one of the best and most challenging game I have played in years. And it showed what Goblins can do when they decide they've got nothing to loss...and aren't stuck against dwarves every game!
I had a fantastic time lads, and it was a thrill and pleasure to know that the best players in the world don't just exist in the Toronto area...even if admittedly most of them ARE there.
I look forward to seeing them all again at Orion, and next year we'll be sure not to get draw against all the dwarf teams!
And sorry about their bloated stats Cam., next time YOU can play them ok?
