I'd LOVE it if we beat them!! (Monkeybowl Trash Talk)

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I would love it... LOVE IT... if we beat...

Booty Batterers
1
3%
Team CACK
0
No votes
The Blackshirts
5
13%
Purple Manjbag
12
32%
Gazza's Tears
9
24%
Swim Team
5
13%
Marley's Angels
1
3%
The Stragglers
0
No votes
Team Scotland
2
5%
Teesside Alliance
3
8%
 
Total votes: 38

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Wightlord
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Re: I'd LOVE it if we beat them!! (Monkeybowl Trash Talk)

Post by Wightlord »

Pah!
The type of mashed up made up fact starved nonsense we have come to expect from Goo (who is of course an ex-News of the World Gossip columnist... :wink: )

1) Why would Shane and I go to the halfway house of a civil partnership when Gay marriage is now being legalised? :o
2) Why did you think people would only view Joe as bad if he was billed as a sexual deviant?? :roll:
3) How dare you suggest Pippy was sacked by Gazza's Tears when it is obvious that he left in disgust at their alcohol "issues" and the recent high profile failure of Stick's Rehab (So much talent gone to waste :blue:) ? !)

Seriously though, great stuff. If we come higher than 8th Big Pete will be after "correcting" you again :puke:

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Pipey
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Re: I'd LOVE it if we beat them!! (Monkeybowl Trash Talk)

Post by Pipey »

BTW will the addition of Val to the ECBBL ranks be enough to bump their prediction up a notch?

Vince ro! VINCE ROOOO!!!

Image
(Valerio doing Karaoke at Albion Coast 2009)

----

PS: I've made the first round TRIBES draw already so just need those race picks before I post it up. Can't wait for the real sledging to start!!! :-D

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Sizzler
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Re: I'd LOVE it if we beat them!! (Monkeybowl Trash Talk)

Post by Sizzler »

Newsflash!

Gazza's Tears has collapsed. Years of infighting and clashing egos have finally taken their toll and the once proud Geordiebowl institution has fractured into rival warlord clans who have each claimed notable Tyneside locales for their own. Latest reports indicate that Mattrobson has perched himself on top of the Angel of the North and is pelting anybody who approaches with d8s, however a surprise raid upon his incoming Chessex order by Stick has rendered his ammunition reserves dangerously low.

Witnesses also say that brothers-in-arms Stan Vito have gone their seperate ways after a dispute over Agricola. More on this story as it develops.

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Re: I'd LOVE it if we beat them!! (Monkeybowl Trash Talk)

Post by shaniepoo »

Joemanji wrote:How can there be a bad kind of sexual deviant?
Thats the kind of comment that would earn you a shot at the Booty Batterers team members trials :wink:

Why are we only 8th! We are the hotest and most under appreciated talent in the whole of the Blood Bowl sceen! Id put us at 5th at worst.

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Re: I'd LOVE it if we beat them!! (Monkeybowl Trash Talk)

Post by Purplegoo »

You could just as easily have been first. It would be an error to think any effort goes into actual placings. ;)

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Re: I'd LOVE it if we beat them!! (Monkeybowl Trash Talk)

Post by stanrichardson »

Its time to put the rumours to rest.

Pippy left Gazzas Tears in the January transfer window by mutual consent, Marley offered the GBBL Board Matt plus Greggs Stake Bakes, and a king size air bed for stick.

In the current financial climate the board had no choice but to accept his offer, Pippys wage and food demands were becoming unsustainable and damaging to the development of league.

We wish Pippy good luck with his new team and we look forward to destroying them 4/0/0 in round 6.

As for these rumours about the Stan_Vito filing for divorce, i can confirm they are not true.

There was a regrettable event during a game of Agricola, when a new born ate my prize cow. But after several days in the huff, peace was restored over a dirty kebab and several pints of over priced beer.

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Re: I'd LOVE it if we beat them!! (Monkeybowl Trash Talk)

Post by Pipey »

Alas this sorry tale is true.

However Stan omitted one crucial detail: Pippy refused to sign the GBBL exit contract which stipulated that any subsequent team-based fantasy football contest against a member of Gazza’s Tears will hereafter be thrown [in an appropriately plausible manner, and with due panache].

It remains to be seen whether Pippy’s desperation to win will trump his loyalty to the Geordie cause. Only time will tell.

--

In other news…

This Sunday night, on his way home from a broccoli tasting weekend break in Berwick-upon-Tweed, Nippy broke into Pippy’s house and stole the memory stick containing the first round draw and all race choices.

He was last seen in KFC Salford, ranting about bonus points, wrestling werewolves, and fitting a third bribe into an underworld roster. Psychiatric services in the Manchester area are quite frankly shitting themselves.

As this shocking story breaks, news has also emerged of the tragic shooting of a young man in greater London. The former cinema projectionist, whose name is yet to be released, was shot dead by armed police as he wielded a Blood Bowl roster pad and a samurai sword.

Police believe the two events may be connected.

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Re: I'd LOVE it if we beat them!! (Monkeybowl Trash Talk)

Post by Sizzler »

The draw is done, and already the synapses of the Blood Bowl community are pulsing with talk of conspiracy. What are The Stragglers hiding, why can't Barney look at a picture of David Hasselhoff without breaking down into tears and just what do Marley's Angels do when they're not playing Blood Bowl. All will be revealed at...

Mun-Kee-Buuurrrrrllll!!!

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Re: I'd LOVE it if we beat them!! (Monkeybowl Trash Talk)

Post by Pipey »

This thread needs a full and frank analysis of all five ties, including potential grudge matches, bookies' odds and irreverent observations.....................................................................

VOID>







<VOID


Please fill.

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Re: I'd LOVE it if we beat them!! (Monkeybowl Trash Talk)

Post by stanrichardson »

Its over to you Siz

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Re: I'd LOVE it if we beat them!! (Monkeybowl Trash Talk)

Post by Wightlord »

Sizzler wrote:why can't Barney look at a picture of David Hasselhoff without breaking down into tears ...

Mun-Kee-Buuurrrrrllll!!!
Is it because his Hero the Hoff spent two months in Manchester starring in Captain Hook at the Opera House in Manchester this xmas...and Barney didn't know!!!? :o :blue:

(The Hoff was actually really good as Captain Hook Barney - you missed out :wink: )

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And..."Shaniepoo is our glorious champion!" - Leipziger
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Re: I'd LOVE it if we beat them!! (Monkeybowl Trash Talk)

Post by Sizzler »

Here's a flimsy effort. It's got nothing on the Purple Picks. Sorry! :o

Sizzler's Super Selections

Image


Teesside Alliance vs Booty Batterers:

Zedsdead once tackled a burglar and won Deal or No Deal. What he doesn't know is that the burglar was Big Pete and that Noel Edmonds was tied up in the green room and supplanted with a doppelgänger in the form of Chosen Gobbo in a beard, wig and ill-fitting denim chinos. The prize money should have gone to Kath from Bromley but, thanks to a Booty Batterer scheme that has yet to reveal itself, the Teesside Alliance are now rolling in cash. Will their greed overwhelm them? Will Wightlord's machinations backfire on him as the Geordies present a united front against material wealth and turn up wearing potato sacks and hemp bracelets? The bookies say no, but the bookies also say yes.

Best Bet: Batterers. The Teessiders look tasty on paper but the Booty Batterers have the team experience to compensate for their poor racial choices. The camaraderie among them has been developing for almost half a decade under Wightlord's patriarchal gaze and this match-up could be the one where they come into their own.

Purple Manjbag vs Team Scotland:

Scotland. A country of rolling hills, fiery patriotism and sky high cholesterol. Manjbag. A country of sideburns, continental breakfasts and a floundering tourism industry. After negotiations went sour and a swathe of UN sanctions crippled their economies it is now time for them to go to war. Rumour has it that the Scots have greased up Purdindas like a rotisserie chicken and are planning to use him as a living projectile come game day. Captain Beanbag has stated that the Manjbag nation will never bow to terrorism of a poultry related nature and has adopted a policy of isolationism - he hasn't left his bedroom in three weeks. When pressed for a statement Chancellor Joemanji said 'how did you get into my bread bin?'

Best Bet: Manjbaggers. The countless tournament wins, extensive experience with the Monkeybowl ruleset and the fact that they aren't Scottish puts the Manjbaggers heads and shoulders above their opponents. An upset could be on the cards though if the Clan McBloodBowl can unite behind the rugged William Wallace figure of Shaheen and flash their bums just after kick-off.

Gazza's Tears vs The Stragglers:

Despite sounding like a mid-seventies prog-rock outfit The Stragglers mean serious business. Captain Nippy has denounced allegations that he isn't taking this seriously and has collected his team together to stage a matinée performance of Fiddler on the Roof, uniting in a convincing and critically acclaimed display of solidarity. The Geordie Juggernaut, usually alive with trash talk and outrageous grudging at this point, could only watch in stunned silence. Mattrobson broke down into tears at the sheer humanity of the performance, Stan was helpless as his entire perception of the theatre was overturned and Don Vito said that it was the best rendition of Jack and the Beanstalk he'd ever seen.

Best Bet: Gazza's Tears. The Geordies have scored the lowest available points for team selection whilst The Stragglers have almost achieved maximum. This combined with the tremendous haul of trophies collected by all four members of Gazza's Tears over the years makes this look like a hard fight for the residents of Straggle Rock. There is a former Monkeybowl winner in their midsts though, so don't discount them.

Swim Team vs The Blackshirts:

Will the Swim Team sink beneath the waves of defeat or flow with the current to victory. With the captaincy no longer in the hands of the majestic and ever reliable Purplegoo the unenviable task of defeating the Blackshirts falls to Barney. Ordinarily the Southern Menace would be a frightening prospect to bear were it not for the debilitating handicap they have imposed upon themselves with their most un-London like choice of tier three races. Is this all mind games by the ECBBL? Some re-election tactic by President Downes? Only time will tell. NAF insiders say that Hangus has been embezzling money from the organisation for years to fund the construction of something he calls 'Guinea Pig Town'.

Best Bets: Swim Team. A team with such a powerhouse line-up as The Blackshirts would normally be at the top of any pundit's list of likely winners but this time their race choices may be their undoing. Barney will need to run a tight a tight ship and rein in some loose cannons if he wants that coveted victory.

Marley's Angels vs Team C.A.C.K:

With the largest height differential among its members Marley's Angels will be presenting an unusual front line. But it will be a strong one nonetheless and won't be shaken by their captain's insistence that they all wear dresses and blonde wigs and that he communicate with them solely via intercom. Team C.A.C.K, after filing the wrong permits with the council, will now be known as Coppull and Chorley Karaoke and are legally obligated to sing something by Cher at least once an hour for the entirety of the weekend. Captain J-TY has taken this to its logical conclusion and hired an impersonator to accompany them vocally. Unfortunately all the agency had left were two Barry Whites and a Rolf Harris.

Best Bets: The Angels. With the event organiser on their books it could be easy for results slips to go missing, for tie-breakers to be worked out incorrectly and for certain competitors to be expelled from the tournament just as their cage closes in on the touchline.

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Re: I'd LOVE it if we beat them!! (Monkeybowl Trash Talk)

Post by Pipey »

Fantastic stuff. Hard to disagree with any of it.

But surely Brutal Deluxe's 2011 Tony Award winning production of Seven Brides For Seven Brothers was the most emotionally intense theatrical experience of them all. The costumes alone caused Winkle_Picka to faint with jealousy. Immediately after the curtains fell, Zoglug quit a high profile job in the financial services industry to become a librettist. So moved by the performance, so incapable of expressing his profound feelings of joy, PeteW hasn't spoken to another person since; he can only act out sections of the score in a silly high pitched voice.

--

Seems no-one wants to beat The Booty Batterers, Marley's Angels, Team CACK and The Stragglers. Is because they are great blokes and everyone wants them to win? Or is it because they're rubbish and no-one cares?

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Re: I'd LOVE it if we beat them!! (Monkeybowl Trash Talk)

Post by Purplegoo »

\o/ Sizzle \o/

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Re: I'd LOVE it if we beat them!! (Monkeybowl Trash Talk)

Post by stanrichardson »

Top work Sizzler

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