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UKTC team introductions

Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 4:58 pm
by mubo
As there will be lots of new European coaches at UKTC I thought it might be fun to do some team introductions...

Introducing... "The only way is a six"*

Leipziger:
The man who truly needs no introduction. Founder, commissioner and everpresent of the world famous crucible of bloodbowl: The Waterbowl. Organiser of the prestigious Waterbowl tournament, now in it's 11th year. A world champion as part of the mighty WB World Cup team in 2011, and boasting a 6-1-2 record with skaven at the top tables in Lucca 2015. Marathon runner extraordinaire, and all round good egg. In the pressure cooker atmosphere of UKTC his indisputable bloodbowling pedigree will be invaluable. Let's hope that team "The only way is a six" can hold on to this guy when the late night phone calls come following the inevitable happening and someone in a better team dropping out.

mubo:
Your narrator. Winner of several blood bowl tournaments, not all of which were in Canada. Burst onto the bloodbowl scene in late 2008 with the innovative dauntless linerat/jump up gutter runner combination. Never seen before or since. Probably best known for once sharing a house with the world number one Jim(jim*)any. Formerly the nicest man in bloodbowl, until the caravan incident at least.

barney_the_lurker:
A man with a NAF nickname so good no one actually knows his real name. A former member of the notorious Flame on team B, Barney has eventually restored his reputation with a series of very impressive performances with the unfancied high elves. Pundits speculate that one day with his new bionic heart a meteoric rise to becoming the greatest high elf coach In The World is inevitable.

the_beanbag:
Adam has been playing bloodbowl for several years.

*Europeans: This is a pun based on the name of a TV show none of us have ever watched.

Re: UKTC team introductions

Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 7:27 pm
by Pipey
It's UKTC II old bean!!

Nice thread though :)

Introducing the referees...

Circusbear - the organisational nuts, bolts *and* glue of the UKTC team. Will be arriving on the 1643 from Kings Cross on a unicycle, on a tiger.

Ironjaw - Leon is loud, crass and from Yorkshire. Possessing a psychopath's calmness under pressure, he is an indispensable part of the team.

Schmee - a man of many monickers: idiot savant, creative genius, ideas man, crazy fool. Anything is possible with Schmee on side.

Sizzler - choreographer, social secretary and now number-crunching steward, Sizzler is new to the team. Expect pizazz, razzmatazz and perhaps even a little bit of spunk. I'm looking forward to his contribution.

Enjoy!

Re: UKTC team introductions

Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 7:40 pm
by Sizzler
Thrilling stuff, both. More of this kind of thing! :)

For how many years has Beanbag been playing Blood Bowl? This is what unwashed masses wish to know!

Re: UKTC team introductions

Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2015 10:52 am
by Joemanji
What, Sizzler isn't in a team? But he is going to be in York? :o I expect apocalyptic nighttime schenanigans. No pressure Andy.

Re: UKTC team introductions

Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2015 9:32 pm
by J_Bone
Joemanji wrote:What, Sizzler isn't in a team? But he is going to be in York? :o I expect apocalyptic nighttime schenanigans. No pressure Andy.
+1

Re: UKTC team introductions

Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2015 10:01 pm
by Garrick
Rampant Saltire

Purdindas (capt.): Scotland’s first ever Blood Bowl Champion and the yard stick other Blood Bowlers in Scotland measure themselves by. Winner of many tournaments and a stalwart of the Blood Bowl scene in Scotland (and further afield) for many years.

Donshula: Scotland’s National Team Captain and a force of nature. He plays Blood Bowl the way the All Blacks play Rugby, no compromise. Once described by an opponent as probably capable of breaking him in two with only one hand. Not to be crossed.

Garrick: A more recent addition to the Blood Bowl scene in Scotland having been side tracked in the early years of Blood Bowl by Magic the card game. Highest placed Scot at the World Cup but has never won a tournament.

HumptyTrump: An even more recent entrant to the wonderful world of tournament Blood Bowl and one of Scotland’s up and coming stars in the Blood Bowl renaissance that is occurring north of the border. Even though he looks like he is going to mug you.

All together they make up Rampant Saltire, a kilt swinging, beer swilling, song murdering bunch of non-juvenile delinquents from north of the border.

Re: UKTC team introductions

Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2015 11:02 pm
by JT-Y
Team Poles Apart:

Captain Ruthy: She takes this stuff seriously you know. At her happiest when bossing people around, she's a natural captain. Please don't get her drunk, and make sure she's fed at regular intervals. Failure to follow either of these instructions will result in people being told off.

JT-Y: I tried to give up gaming a few years ago and now I play Blood Bowl instead. I may or may not be on my tablets in January. It's like a lottery really.

Fireolli: He used to be very buff and quite intimidating. He insists he doesn't know that he grinds his teeth and growls at his opponents. These days he's just a bit portly instead. The second of two poledancers on Poles Apart. You never know what you're getting with Olli, but a black eye always seems like a distinct possibility.

Munch: Remember Gaz's idiot brother from the sitcom Two Pints of Lager And A packet Of Crisps on BBC3? Yeah, that's the one. Normally he looks after my dog so I can go and do stuff I don't really enjoy, but once a year we have to take him somewhere nice. Instead he's coming to the UKTC II.
Last year he won a game. So expectations are high.

Re: UKTC team introductions

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2015 11:42 am
by Joemanji
Clique & Destroy!

AKA :
'Desperate To Win'
'It's All Clique To Me'
'The Clique Shall Inherit The Earth'
'Clique To The Hand'.

Purplegoo : Self-proclaimed Titan Of FUMBBL and greatest High Elf coach in the world, Phil will be looking to improve on last year's performance that saw him lose his opening game 0-4 to a Scot. Orcs are off the cards for him this year, despite much protestation. I knew it was a bad idea. Has come second at a number of majors.

Jimjimany : The man who needs no introduction, because he'll tell you just how good he is within seconds of meeting him. Jim is the Marouane Fellaini of Blood Bowl. Point him in the right direction; somehow it will work but it will definitely be messy.

Geggster : Our treasurer has kindly agreed to fund the team this year from the NAF surplus. "Hookers, coke - go wild" is a totes legit quote from Paul 'don't call me Paul 'Paul Gegg' Gegg' Gegg. Is an Olympic level archer. Owns a really nice pasta maker.

Joemanji : John McEnroe's delinquent son. Diego Costa's tearaway brother. Will be giving out personalised salt shakers to all his opponents this year. Contents to be provided in-game.

Re: UKTC team introductions

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2015 12:22 pm
by the beanbag
More of these. MORE!

Re: UKTC team introductions

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2015 12:49 pm
by Pipey
Bravo!

19 more introductions to go (how's your maths?)...

Re: UKTC team introductions

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2015 1:31 pm
by Valen
Three Suttons and a Shaniepoo

Valen (capt) (Dad Sutton) - Usually found at the bar, or under a table pissed. Won a few tournaments when soberish, but usually gets far to drunk and annoying to doing anything properly.

Bill (Big Bro Sutton) - VERY new to the scene and at the ripe old age of 12 he is the third oldest member of the team. Still learning but loving the game, already got the Geggster concentration look about him mind game, very worrying.

Cam (Baby Sutton) - Like his older brother (yes he is the younger one despite being a foot taller than Bill), very new to the scene, but is learning quick, does not take the game seriously AT ALL. Favorite quote from him mid game after rolling numerous 6's and 5's was to declare to his opponent "That is quite a predicament you are in" Cheeky sod.

THE SHANIEPOO - No introduction needed from this force of nature in the BB scene, been around for ever, and can often be seen running around various cities in England in next to no clothes. Hopefully his clothing will be a little more less revealing.

Re: UKTC team introductions

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2015 2:18 pm
by Be4ch
Chatter Blocks

Be4ch (Captain) - More facial hair than Blood Bowl ability. There isn't a single team that I can play well. If I can keep the others sober there's a slim chance we won't come last and that, in our book, is a victory.

Cunning Stunt - The best hair in Blood Bowl. Took great pleasure in winning the wooden spoon at the NAFC 2014 with his Piling On Ogres when the ball was ignored in the quest for yet more casualties which secured his second prize of Most CAS. Bringing Pact to York.

CobraOB - The team's pet Aussie and the man with the lowest high kick in kung-fu. Loves a drink and after a couple will gladly show off his leg sweeps. Protect your ankles. Has enjoyed playing Chaos at a number of tournaments including the last 2 NAF Championships so has decided to bring High Elves. Obviously.

David _Hamlin - Dave doesn't believe in nicknames and simply sneers when it's suggested he try one. Rumoured to be over 1000 years old with a soul as black as coal, don't let his youthful looks fool you. He'll shake your hand and smile before fouling every player that falls down. He has no mercy. Possibly bringing Chaos Dwarfs.

Re: UKTC team introductions

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2015 2:50 pm
by J_Bone
Team DBBL POWs (from the blasted post-apocalyptic landscape of Derby). This year with matching shirts!

J_Bone AKA Johnny (Team Captain): The bastard son of Oliver Reed & Chuck Norris. Recently awarded 'Most Likely To Go To More Tournaments In A Single Year Than Me' by Lycos. Has an addictive personality when it comes to both gaming and cocktails (favourites include Guinness & Black and Monster Rehab & Jim Beam).

CarterCaine AKA Peter: The Joe Pesci / Richard Hammond of the team. Women want to be with him; Men want him to stop throwing his dice at them. The rules don't apply to him. That's why he never learned the ones for Blood Bowl.

Longstride AKA Liam: A gentle giant. Think Lennie from 'Of Mice & Men'. Will be offering free hugs throughout the tournament. Such a fan of Derby that he had a sheep tattooed on his forearm. He also has a number 4 tattooed on his arm. Get it? 4-arm.

MolusMaximus AKA Hugh: The ringer. Scourge of the Derby Blood Bowl League and one-time world champion of some weird card game where you pretend to be a vampire or something. Enjoys curries, real ale and long walks on the beach. Floppy hair.

Re: UKTC team introductions

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2015 3:27 pm
by Arioso
Team NRW (No Reroll Wanted!!)

You know the Germans. Everybody knows them: industrious, a little bold and frighteningly efficient (in becoming 7th in the Eurobowl). That is the bunch we have sent last year so everybody's picture of the German does not need to be adjusted all too much. This time around Germany is sending a second expedition: Team NRW. A bunch from the west; a bit less industrious, surprisingly just as bold but also slightly less sober than the other lot.
Team NRW's line up consists of:

Rostersternhochdahl: The guy whose name is a tongue twister even for us krauts. Man, this is a skilled guy. With his favorite race, the dark elfs, he is infamous for rolling snake eyes in the truly worst moment. If you have high-class alcohol in his surroundings he will surely notice and order it - regrettably his order of tequila with sandworms was actually correctly processed by the Nottingham Orchard's otherwise reliably incompetent bar staff

DocMaxx: The famous organizer of the Dungeonbowl and even more famous for playing Slann in more than 100 NAF-ranked matches (while claiming they were good!), otherwise infamous for his command of the English language. On good days he plays faster than lightning (more often winning than loosing) just in order to reach the nearest bar a little bit faster and put some beer down his throat. Beware if he starts thinking aloud about his turns... he is a nightmare then!

PeterD: Does he even need to be introduced? The destroyer of the dutch legacy team! The guy who celebrated winning 10lb of Spanish ham with nude marauders in a museum (there is photographic evidence!). The individual that attended 100 BB tournaments although he does not even drink! The chap who managed to have a Spanish tournament change its name in his honour! The man who has more than a trazillion (quintillion?) dice in his room sorted by year, country of origin and tournament. If you have dice to trade, he will find you.

and last the captain:

Arioso: Infamous for winning his only two tournament titles with underworld and still discussing them as a competetive race to play (mainly at cost of his NAF ranking with this lovely race). Originator of numerous help-threads on TFF. Though blatantly unsuccesful he somehow ends up as a captain all the time (he is a sweetheart, isn't he?). Most of the time he brings his own personal cheerleader (Rumors say she is comeing to York too....). The girl who can drink more hard stuff than himself, docmaxx and rotersternhochdahl (f... it's even impossible to type that name...) together and notably the only one being able to walk straight after that memorable night in the Orchards.

Re: UKTC team introductions

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2015 3:51 pm
by Garrick
Arioso wrote:Team NRW (No Reroll Wanted!!)
No Gaunab?