Eurobowl / EurOpen Introductions
Posted: Mon May 23, 2016 9:15 am
In the spirit of this awesome thread from the UKTC, which nearly convinced me to buy a flight to England and register for the tournament just to be allowed to post in that thread, I present to you the big-budget sequel! Starring Nic Cage as President Sann.
(EurOpen) Trauma Lite:
Team TRAUMA was formed by six Blood Bowl crazed coaches in Munich, over more than a few beers, for last year's World Cup in Lucca. Although none of us expected to win the whole thing (Spoiler alert: We didn't), we did rally for a solid finish, placing 70th. Shut up, that's better than it sounds. The position of the bar toward the middle of the hall in Lucca became a self-correcting system for us; as we got knocked farther back in the rankings, our tables were farther away from the delicious Birra Peroni, causing us to drink less and play better, moving foward but also closer to the bar.
Sadly, Team TRAUMA will be unable to field two teams of three players each in Örebro. Our top coaches have lame excuses such as "I'm skiing that weekend" or "My kids aren't on vacation that weekend" and other such pathetic pretexts. That's basically "The dog ate my homework" of Blood Bowl. So three of our four lowest performing coaches from Lucca will be representing Munich at the EurOpen. I'm still confident that we can match our results from last year, although more in the "70th place" sense than "beating .500".
You'll see us at the back of the room, hopefully having a great time. It should be obvious by the number of empty cups how we are doing.
Without further ado, here are our members!
Captain rolo
Yours truly will be immediately recognizable by my New England accent, commonly voted the sexiest and most attractive of all the flavors of the English language (by absolutely nobody, ever). If I am the only person from the US present, I am absolutely insecure yet egotistical enough to crown myself "Eurobowl US Champion". Just play along and pretend that you're impressed.
Strengths: My Blood Bowl skills are already subpar, so I can't damage my chances much by drinking.
Weaknesses: Sometimes I play just well enough to think I have a chance; this makes it infinitely more disappointing when I lose.
Tojurub
Our beloved Vice President, NAF Oldtimer, former Swiss champion, and self-proclaimed connoisseur of the Dwarven passing game. Will not be playing Dwarves.
Strengths: As VP, he is allowed to cast the deciding vote, turning ties into wins*.
Weaknesses: Dice with skulls, Dice with 1's, rerolls.
* - Officially we are still waiting on a ruling as to whether this applies to NAF Tournaments or only the United States Senate.
Sir_Twist_089
The only remaining member of "the Munich team" who actually lives within the city limits of Munich. No matter how much beer he drinks, he somehow always remains skinny. Bastard. Rumored to gain strength from his many tattoos; Ladies, if you like what you see, ask him to show you "the other tats".
Strengths: Dodging and Passing with Tomb Guards, Black Orcs, and other players not generally associated with finesse plays.
Weaknesses: Actually showing up to tournaments. Don't worry, he's going to Örebro even if we have to ship him as freight.
(EurOpen) Trauma Lite:
Team TRAUMA was formed by six Blood Bowl crazed coaches in Munich, over more than a few beers, for last year's World Cup in Lucca. Although none of us expected to win the whole thing (Spoiler alert: We didn't), we did rally for a solid finish, placing 70th. Shut up, that's better than it sounds. The position of the bar toward the middle of the hall in Lucca became a self-correcting system for us; as we got knocked farther back in the rankings, our tables were farther away from the delicious Birra Peroni, causing us to drink less and play better, moving foward but also closer to the bar.
Sadly, Team TRAUMA will be unable to field two teams of three players each in Örebro. Our top coaches have lame excuses such as "I'm skiing that weekend" or "My kids aren't on vacation that weekend" and other such pathetic pretexts. That's basically "The dog ate my homework" of Blood Bowl. So three of our four lowest performing coaches from Lucca will be representing Munich at the EurOpen. I'm still confident that we can match our results from last year, although more in the "70th place" sense than "beating .500".
You'll see us at the back of the room, hopefully having a great time. It should be obvious by the number of empty cups how we are doing.
Without further ado, here are our members!
Captain rolo
Yours truly will be immediately recognizable by my New England accent, commonly voted the sexiest and most attractive of all the flavors of the English language (by absolutely nobody, ever). If I am the only person from the US present, I am absolutely insecure yet egotistical enough to crown myself "Eurobowl US Champion". Just play along and pretend that you're impressed.
Strengths: My Blood Bowl skills are already subpar, so I can't damage my chances much by drinking.
Weaknesses: Sometimes I play just well enough to think I have a chance; this makes it infinitely more disappointing when I lose.
Tojurub
Our beloved Vice President, NAF Oldtimer, former Swiss champion, and self-proclaimed connoisseur of the Dwarven passing game. Will not be playing Dwarves.
Strengths: As VP, he is allowed to cast the deciding vote, turning ties into wins*.
Weaknesses: Dice with skulls, Dice with 1's, rerolls.
* - Officially we are still waiting on a ruling as to whether this applies to NAF Tournaments or only the United States Senate.
Sir_Twist_089
The only remaining member of "the Munich team" who actually lives within the city limits of Munich. No matter how much beer he drinks, he somehow always remains skinny. Bastard. Rumored to gain strength from his many tattoos; Ladies, if you like what you see, ask him to show you "the other tats".
Strengths: Dodging and Passing with Tomb Guards, Black Orcs, and other players not generally associated with finesse plays.
Weaknesses: Actually showing up to tournaments. Don't worry, he's going to Örebro even if we have to ship him as freight.