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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2015 7:54 pm 
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Timber For Sale!
The epic game on Monday, Feb 9, 2515, between the Redwood Dodgers and The Walkers, will be recorded in the annuls of the Regina Flatland Blood Bowl League history.

In a tragic string of events not one, not two, but three deaths of intense magnitude will forever change the fate of the league.

Deciduon Teek, the highly skilled Wardancer, passed after a violent ploy engineered by The Walkers. Some gits from the stands yelled, “Timber”. Teek turned around to see what was happening. In the next second he was on the ground lifeless. To add insult to injury, not even five seconds later, Woody Footrot (a Treeman) was felled. Timber indeed.

“It isn’t too often you see a tree fall on a Blood Bowl field”, stated Grungy Grunga Grunge from Belle Plane. “There is no longer any doubt in my mind that a tree which falls in the forest is sure as heck NOT silent.”

In retaliation, the Wood Elves ganged up on Leaky and tore his Ghoulish pieces to shreds. Leaky was the 2513 Season MVP and the league’s most experienced player.

Rumour has it both Leaky and Teek had bounties placed on them.

“Da unly peepl whu gitz rych frum da bowntyz iz da mafya,” stated League Commissioner Da Big Green ‘Un. “Deez bowntyz needz tu STAWP. Ur purhupz wez kan tax da bowntyz inzted.”

An emergency conference was held by RFBBL officials this morning. In order to curb the blatant fouling and unsportsmanlike conduct the League will give a 10K bonus to any team which does not foul in each match from now until midnight Feb 21. The strain on life insurance is again pushing the League into disarray.

“Although our books are a mess, it’s not near as bad as last year. All those damn dead Goblins almost caused us to become bankrupt. In fact, an investigation has been launched, claiming da Rottin’ Eye Raiderz head coach, Verm Gombardi, had actually been putting Life Insurance policies on his players with him as the sole beneficiary,” stated Gimlock Heineklickin, Chief League Investigator.

No wonder he is nowhere to be found.

It is expected their will be a mass migration of Wood Elves and Ents from both Cypress Hills and the Northern Region to attend the funerals later this week. But Teek’s body has been missing since this morning. If it hasn’t been found before Thursday I am sure their will be a peaceful protest of some sort.

In another note, to further prove the Gods of Chaos were out in full force last night, The Orange Bronco Crushers won their second EVER match handily defeating The Turunga Meeple Leafs 3 – nil. In fact, Comes Duh Boom (the all time league was seriously injured as well.

It is shaping up to be a crazy year people. Hang onto your seats and enjoy the ride!

~Burnt Cookies – star reporter / Regina Morning Follower

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Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2015 7:31 pm 
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Get your FREE dance lessons!
Hey boys (and sex-changed Lizards),

For the remainder of the month of February I will be offering FREE dance lessons for any players in the RFBBL.

Yup... You read this correctly. Dance lessons from me, Berta! No charge. Just your time! Now close your mouth, please.

I usually charge up to 1000 crowns per hour for my exclusive services.

I offer select dance moves which are custom taylored to a burly hunk of a machine like you! Yes, YOU!

Player's, now here is the important bit. You do not need to make arrangements through your coach. And for the love of Gork no you do not need to tell your wife and friends. This will be kept just between us. There is no shame in this. We are both professionals.

Just contact me directly at (306) 237-8222 (i.e. 306-BER-TABB). I guarantee you will be a whole new "man" in as few as one or two sessions!

Keep it classy everyone!

~Berta

-------------

This note will be going out to the players...

Berta’z Dance Lessons

I am sure you are all thinking the same thing… I really would like to take Berta up on her offer for those FREE dance lessons but it sounds a bit too good to be true. Well, you cannot fool a grizzled veteran easily they say. I am here to tell you it is.

If you would like to participate in this one time exclusive event please send me a private note. I will guarantee a player on your team will gain 5 SPP’s for the risk. But there may be a smallish catch.

Happy Dancing!

-------------------

Now I just need to decide what the smallish catch (or chart of "catches") will be...

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Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2015 6:40 pm 
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A Best of 1 Series Proves Inadequate
Behold! Your Lord Bulworth is defeated! Your Lord Bulworth is big. Big in both mind and spirit, and heart and, of course, body. But your Lord Bulworth is not too big to admit he may have made a mistake. In your Lord Bulworth's hubris He neglected to make the sufficient lizardling sacrifices. While One does not need excuses to eliminate lizardmen, One must always strive against the thralldom of the dreaded Gods of Chaos. Thus defeat! But a one-game series does not prove your dominance! On any given Saturday even the Mighty Slann may fall to the lesser beings(even dead ones). Therefore, Your Lord Bulworth must demand a new playoff structure. The playoffs must be a series of series. I propose a 19 game series to best determine true victory. None of this one and done ridiculousness. The final must be no less than 25 games. Anything less is just playing to the whims of Chance. We might as well just roll some dice! A one game playoff is entertaining for the fans but not the Slanns or the fans of Slanns. We must ensure the Mighty Slann have ample opportunity to rise above their lowly opponents and prevent them from being jobbed in the future.
- Lord Bulworth the Unfathomable

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Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Thu Dec 10, 2015 10:16 pm 
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Tales of Goblins, Rats, and a Wood Elf?
Yesterday, a new team announced it would be playing in the 2515 Season. Created upon the unlikely alliance between Goblins and Rats the Gooby Skabbers were seen practicing (if you can call it that ~Editor) in the field near the Dojak Correctional Centre.

No big deal right? RFBBL practices are held on a regular basis throughout this fine city.

Well you are wrong. This is a big deal.

The Skabby’s head coach looked to be none other than The Redwood Dodger’s Webby Leafblower. I have seen some brilliant disguises in my day but the twitter feeds have been going nuts. If this is indeed true, what has happened to the relatively successful Elf team hailing from the beautiful Lumsden forests? Have they packed up to head for safety upon shores of Western Europe or perhaps the smog infested cities in China?

“Webby looked awfully tired and sore today, to be honest”, stated Twitty McConway. “We always thought the black eyes were from his wife.”

Once we have more you will be the first to get it. Stay tuned.

~Burnt Cookies – star reporter / Regina Morning Follower

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Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2016 5:47 pm 
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From the Desk of Lord Bulworth the Unfat / Head Coach Galling Tyranny of Time (Slaan)
Things todo today:
1. Work on new and compelling insults for the lesser races. (including but not limited to humans, elves, dwarves and halflings. Especially halflings... Especially Halflings!
2. Breakfast
3. Come up with exciting new Slann braggadocios and Slann propaganda. (including but not limited to the new "Kick a lizard today!" campaign)
4. Second Breakfast!
5. Oversee team practice and workout (whatever)
6. LUNCH!!!!
7. Nap time
8. Lunch!
9. Overlord the Slann brains with the engineering, designing, and implementeering of the new Engines of Destruction! (tm)
10. Dinner time!
11. Sleepy time!
12. Dream time (including but not limited to the new Engines of Destruction! (tm)

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Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2016 5:49 pm 
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From the Desks of The Eerty Nemegols (Halflings):

I'm looking to kick some of your pansy asses. Anyone who is wanting to get a beat down by some halflings, just send me a message. 9:00 at wok box. Let's see if you will get crushed as much as the wimpy Nurgles

Signed Loud Mouth Smurf, Brainy Smurf's evil twin.

-----
A reply from Prince Veng-yr of Eataine (Head Coach Ulthuan United / High Elves):

Make ours a Roast please!
Generally, I don't like to pick on the little people.

But did a smurf just say he was going to hand our ass to us?

Ulthuan United will take the Beef Roast please. With yorkshire pudding and gravy. What the hell. Add in potatoes and carrots and some horseradish on the side.

I cannot wait for supper tomorrow! Delicious.

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Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2016 9:20 pm 
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Qyt Da Nak'ng!
Dem fatz lyzardz keep zaa’n ull dyz ztuf ‘bowt dem skynny lyzardz. Owz dez r be’en robd. Owz dez luz un purp’z. Owz dez need mur play-uv gaamz.

Den dez zayz ztuf bowt da un und tree uverz dym’n’zun…

I fynk dez luz’n der brAn celz.

No mur Nak’ng! Enuf z enufz. Skynny lyzardz kant wynz ug’n dyz yeerz. Yf Lurd Bulw’rk yz weel’y u wyz zend dem tu unuv’r plan’et ulwedy.

~Da Big Green ‘Un

Translation (via Luv’n da Ork Luva):

Quit the Naking (hmm… haven’t figured this word out yet).

The fat lizards keep saying all this stuff about them skinny lizards. How they’ve been robbed. How they lose on purpose. How they need more play-off games.

Then they say stuff about a fourth dimension…

I think they are losing their brain cells.

No more Nak’ng (sure – whatever Nak’ng is)! Enough is enough. Skinny lizards can’t win again this year. If Lord Bullworth is really a wizard send them all to another planet already.

~Da Big Green ‘Un

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If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 7:50 pm 
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Ref Strike (again)

RFBBL referee’s were en masse at City Hall today.

Chants such as, “We will fight for what is right and light and night and site!” and “Hospital, hospital, stay away, come back another day!” could be heard by the referee’s guild picket line.

“Y fynk de’z ‘av been yt yn da ‘ed tuu many tym’z”, stated Orc fan, Groog da Luug.

After a week of negotiating wages and job conditions without success Local Union 631.2 decided to take action just as the season ramps up.

“Three of us ended up at Regina General in one day! I don’t receive a pension or compensation if I am not there. It stinks like a blue skink I tell ya”, ranted Hickup Sorrywart, a two year ref veteran. “Ever since da Rotten’ Eye Raiderz left our supplementary income has gone down the tubes. I mean Orc teams have Gobbo’s but they don’t pay like the Goblins. And those Gooby Skabbers are tight. TIGHT I say. It is easier to pull a tooth on Tri-Drool the Stool than get a buck or three from them.”

“Gytz zum bawlz ‘Ykup. U’v been dyfyk’lt evyr synz Y ‘yr’d ya!” commented League Commissioner, Da Big Green ‘Un.

League officials indicated they foresaw these issues and thus have begun a new temporary foreign worker recruitment policy late last year. The migrants should start arriving any day now.

“After a long one day training course they will be ready to roll”, commented Sann Wily, the acting League Media officer.

“It’s a dirty job but someone has got to do it”, stated Smarmy Dumarmy, a three year referee veteran. “Being a bit smarter than your average bloke helps. So does that new protein supplement, Booz’T. I have been using it a lot lately and I haven’t noticed any ill-effects.”

“I have”, replied Willemena Dumarmy, Smarmy’s wife. “But you are right, a lot from a little, is still a little.”

“Quit yer Nacking Willemena”, stated Smarmy. “I am a licensed Booz’T dealer. Here is my card.”

Whatever happens, we all hope the referee’s will be back soon. When the referee’s are away it is the fans that seem to suffer most. I mean that literally.

~Burnt Cookies – star reporter / Regina Morning Follower

Please note, from Jan 21 - 25, 2016 Bribe Inducements which fail on a "1" will gain an automatic free re-roll.
- Da Big Green ´Un

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If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 8:18 am 
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Hello From the Other Side?

Members of the Regina Necromantic and Undying Association are in complete disbelief tonight.

During a regular season game between The Biggar Badmen and The Eerty Nemegols, Star Player, Hack Enslash, became entangled in his own chainsaw.

“We have seen Hack go down a hundred times over the years”, stated Boney McCalcium. “After all, he is kind-a clumsy with that over-sized chainsaw. But I have never seen anything like this. Bones. Helmet. Jock-strap. Splinters. Bones. Splinters. Bones… gosh… It was like every part of his being was shredded. I think this is a warning to all of us. Mama’s don’t let your babies grow up to be chainsaw wielders.”

This will be the first time in four years a “true” Star of the RFBBL will almost assuredly be unable to return for the remainder of the season.

“Where do we even start? My master. MY MASTER!!” cried Hack’s personal henchmen, Igor Sewemback.

“I could care less to be honest”, stated Jonny Slammer, Head Coach of The Walkers. “We have asked him to come out to play a few times and he always declines. Maybe next time he will play with the “real” Undead.”

Although the dead may be in shock, on the other side of the city, the often outspoken and quite living “Regina Pillar for Short Stature Beings with Blue, White or Red Toque’s” are certainly breathing a sigh of relief.

“It was a terrible slaughter tonight”, stated Miss Piggyson, head organizer of the RPSSBBWRT. “At least the madness is over.”

Madness indeed. I dare you to try saying RPSSBBWRT five times quickly.

Adelle is expected to fly in to sing her latest single, “Hello, From the Other Side”. Her attendance is expected to draw most of Western Canada to Regina for the service.

~Burnt Cookies – star reporter / Regina Morning Follower

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Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 7:04 pm 
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Ask Lord Borak (Part III) -The Apathy is Real

“Dear Lord Borak,

This season I have been so hyped. Like more hyped than hyped. We have more teams than ever. So here I am in my small swampy, slime-covered cave loving life. Really loving Life. But every time I look for a match on Cabal Vision nothing. Nothing. No Ballet Beyb’z. No Menzoberanzan Shadowblades. No Redwood Firewood. No Pitch Commissioned Plunder. No Rottin’ Eyes. No Sisters. Damn. The apathy is real.

Sincerely,
Slik Myslicky
Cave 221B Baker Street”

Thanks for your note Slik. I was starting to wonder where all of my fan mail has been going. The Royal Canadian Owl Delivery service is not what it once was. Please say “Hi” to Sherlock and his buddy for me!

Slik, you are not alone on this. That is why I am here to tell it to you straight.

Let’s put things into perspective. Last season we had 12 teams. The Early Season had over 60 games. That’s an average around 5 games per team. This season Da Big ‘Un expanded the league to 20 teams. Here we are with only 30 games played and 20 some days to go. Even if we hit 60 games before Feb 19 that gives an average of 3 games per team. It is disgusting and trust me I have seen a few disgusting things in my time.

When I was a wee lad my Great, Great Grand Chaos Father once told me something. “It isn’t the quantity, it’s the quality.” Sure, you may have to wait a few days between games this year. Believe me when I tell you I know what a pain the knickers re-arranging your schedule is. Yup. I said it. Knickers. Not even a week ago I was all setup to lead my forces into Manitoba to wreck havoc on Winnipeg. But just before the invasion I found out you couldn’t drink the water. I mean, really. What kind of twisted non-Nurgle soul would dump raw sewage into their rivers and lakes? Even an invading army cannot look the other way at such filthy detritus. Don’t even get me started on my plans for Flint, Michigan. Don’t get me wrong. I understand the world needs Skaven and Nurglings. But leave the damn water alone, please.

It gets worse, Slick. Even the quality is down. I mean, aren’t the Halflings leading the casualty race? These are the end times indeed. Yes, I have already sent a letter to Team Owners.

Slik, as Burton C might say, let me break this to you gently. Sometimes you have to re-arrange things. Priorities they call it. Swamp time can wait till the second week of May. Match time is YOUR priority.

Till next time, don’t get your knickers in a knot.

Lord Borak

~Please note, in order to boost our "numbers", Da Big 'Un is offering an additional 10K for all winnings from Jan 27 - Feb 3. Now get playing!!

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If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:56 pm 
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Where is Kevin??

Last night, during a match between the Biggar Badmen and Ulthuan United, Badmen Zombie, Kevin, vanished.

“He was busy playing hard until UU scored late in the first half. The next moment he was gone. We looked everywhere for him”, stated Badmen head coach, Cleon Salmon. “Heck, even the Ulthuan United players were looking with us.”

“I know what you might be thinking. This is really some kind of Home Alone pranky, prank. Where is Kevin? HaHa funny… But our investigation has been thorough. Multiple eye-witnesses confirm his mysterious disappearance”, confirmed lead investigator Joe “Harry” Pesciolio. “No fingerprints. No footprints. He wasn’t in the dungeons under the stadium. He wasn’t in the stands. He just vanished.”

“I have always thought this damn Gryffon United Stadium had a bad vibe. Poltergeists are real, ya know. I still remember seeing that documentary on TV. Ya know. “Poltergeist.” The girl and her strange TV. They’re here!!! It still gives me the willy’s”, stated Kurly Knicker-knacker the stadium caretaker. “THEY’RE HERE!!”

“It hassss to be thosssssse damn toad frogsssss”, quipped Pitch Privateer coach, Brainy Barrett. “I knowssss they have alien technologiessssss. Taking usssss into a different world for their nasssssty exxxperimentsssss.”

Believe what you will the drama is real. Kevin is missing and he most certainly isn’t home alone.

~Burnt Cookies – star reporter / Regina Morning Follower

(The reason for this write-up is kind of odd to be honest. We were playing the match and the miniature just disappeared. It wasn't in our pockets. It wasn't on the floor. It wasn't in our figure boxes. Gone. One second we had it and the next it's missing. This kind of stuff has happened here and again at my house before but I alwas thought I was just me losing my mind. But the figure vanished. I will likely find it in a few days. That is always what seems to happen. I don't really believe in too many things supernatural but this has now happened enough times for me to be slightly un-nerved...." Michael Becker)

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If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2016 7:33 pm 
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RFBBL Talk Feb 9, 2516

Biff: Greetings sports fans! Welcome to RFBBL talk! RFBBL talk is brought to you by your two favourite hosts, Biff McGriff (Human Lineman) and Swaltzy Nimerode (League Analyst).

Swaltzy: Yes, hey everyone. Welcome to Episode One of RFBBL talk. It is good to be here, Biff.

Biff: Absolutely, Swaltzy. Thanks for tuning in. We appreciate it! Alright, before we jump in a quick word from our sponsor!

----------
Commercial:
(Man on seat reading a paper: “Darn. I never drink enough water before the match. Stuff myself with pasta and starch instead of good sources of Fiber. Can hardly move. Get pushed around because my team can’t keep things together. So instead of getting real exercise I end up face down on the turf. Then things get tough. I mean really tough. I push hard but nothing. And then well, it happens. Things stretch. Bleeding. Itching. It is ugly folks.”
-----
Animated Preparation H Bottle: “Have no fear - Preparation H is here! Did you know Prep H was created in 2435? Yes. 80 years of butt busting relief. Your granny and gramps used Prep H so you should too! Prep H – it’s here to treat your messy mess and itchy itch.”
-----
Same man in Blood Bowl gear: “ No doubt about it. I should have used Preparation H.”
-----
End of commercial
----------

Swaltzy: What a great ad, Biff!

Biff: Urmm.. Ok. Onto the show. Swaltzy, my friend. 2516. What can we say? It has been a pretty slow start, wouldn’t you agree?

Swaltzy: Yup. Dismal, Biff. Less than two weeks to go and we just surpassed the 50 game mark. I mean the CFL plays more games in a season.

Biff: What can we do? If the coaches want to abstain they will abstain. Da Big Green ‘Un even provided incentive cash but the uptake was less than furious. Perhaps the RFBBL needs to move to a fixed schedule next year?

Swaltzy: Perhaps that is a consideration. But somehow I think it would lead to a bunch of wins by default. The apathy is indeed real.

Biff: Yup. I am surprised the fans are still here. I guess there isn’t all that much to do come winter-time in Saskatchewan. You can’t eat the fish. And the lakes aren’t frozen enough for the sleds.

Swaltzy: Speaking of fans and MORE IMPORTANTLY – cheerleaders! Did you see those babes at the Ulthuan United vs Turunga Meeple Leafs match the other night? I could hardly sit still.

Biff: Agreed. What a show that was. The Cabal Vision ratings were through the roof. And the YouTube compilations have already hit 30 million views, Swaltzy.

Swaltzy: But I lost a lot of money on my UU bet. Thought it was a sure thing to be honest. Never trust an Elf some say.

Biff: I think we should talk about the new teams, Swaltzy. As expected some are off to a relatively slow start. But then again, we have a few new teams on fire this year.

Swaltzy: Smoking hot fire, Biff. Let’s start with the Warpstone Wylds. First season. First year a rat team has joined the RFBBL. Two games in and two wins.

Biff: It’s a small sample size, but indeed they are doing all the right things. I never heard of Erwügen prior to this year. But he is quite a coach. I expect big things from small furry creatures. That catcher, or I think they call them gutter runners (shudder) is pretty solid on his paws.

Swaltzy: They have a game tonight against the High Elves, Biff. This time my money will not be on those cheap Elves.

Biff: I wouldn’t count out the High Elves yet, Swaltzy. They are the current points leaders.

Swaltzy: Ulthuan United is only the points leader because they have put their reps in. Play enough games and you are bound to get a few wins.

Biff: I am not so sure they are a bottom tier team, bud. If they could just get a match or two without a death of serious injury I think they will become a force in this league.

Swaltzy: When they win the championship I will believe you, Biff.

Biff: Moving on, next we have The Itza Ravagers. Seven Early Season games in and no losses. Four wins and three ties.

Swaltzy: Lizards seem to go from strength to strength in the RFBBL. Last year the Privateers won the cup and it seems The Ravagers are poised to make a run.

Biff: With The Privateers nowhere to be seen this year, they definitely have a fighting chance. And what can we say about those Gooby Skabbers?

Swaltzy: That is one heck of a team name, Biff. It kind of makes me shudder. I wonder if Preparation H could help with that?

Biff: Can you believe a Wood Elf would coach a bunch of rats and gobbo’s? Such an unlikely combination. What is this world coming to, Swaltzy?

Swaltzy: I still think there is a bribe, a dirty threat, or even worse behind all of this, Biff. I refuse to believe a Wood Elf would willingly help such vile creatures. Have you seen the teeth on that Tri-Drool monster? It gives me nightmares.

Biff: I am surprised Elf- kind hasn’t put a hit out for Webby, yet. They take their loyalty seriously. Or at least you would think they could attempt a rescue and give the whelp a full trial?

Swaltzy: We can leave that up to the frail one’s I guess. At least we have Tauriel to fill the forest loving void.

Biff: Yup. I always admired Tauriel. She is grace defined.

Biff: Moving along, I cannot believe a Nurgle team has amassed five wins already. Nurgle? I always thought they were too slow to do anything real.

Swaltzy: Again, we have another solid coach coming out of the woods… errr… chaos portal. Ed Hunter’s team has shown great promise so far this year.

Biff: Playing the Damned Children must be a dreaded event, Swaltzy. I mean you can’t stand to look at half of them. The others are rotting and stink like garbage. Then one of them grabs you with their tentacles and you just cower. I mean gross is gross.

Swaltzy: Gross is an understatement.

Biff: And what about The Walkers, Swaltzy. We weren’t sure they would join this year. Jonny Slammer stated he had a pretty hectic schedule this year but at the last minute The Walkers arrived.

Swaltzy: I think they wanted to be sure they weren’t bested by that Necromancer, Cleon Salmon.

Biff: The Walkers are above even. Five games in with three wins, a tie and a loss. And 16 casualties for already!

Swaltzy: The Undead do what the Undead do. Break things and then score. If they break they just keep coming back for more. It is unnatural.

Biff: I also wanted to put in a quick word of our other teams. They have some socks to pick up if they want to make a push for the cup. Galling Tyranny of Time is fourth in league points. No losses yet, but they sure love their ties.

Swaltzy: I didn’t know those frogs wore ties and socks?

Biff: They sure like to Hark! Hark this. Hark that. Their Lord Bullworth cracks me up.

Swaltzy: Hark! Ye!

Biff: Hark!

Swaltzy: Good to see the little guys out this year.

Biff: Tor Shaleworker might have a word or three to say to you calling his team the little guys.

Swaltzy: I meant The Eerty Nemegols. Urrm… The Halflings, Biff.

Biff: So confusing. Little is little.

Swaltzy: Even The Turunga Meeple Leafs are doing well this year. Their performance has been less than stellar over the years, Biff.

Biff: I think they are finally getting there. They have some speed and they know how to throw a good block. They have been plastering their opponents as hard-core as the Walkers this year.

Swaltzy: Indeed. It is too bad our Orc teams are struggling. The Eye has posted a lot of ties. And Zorbug is not on top form. But they have plenty of time to turn their ship around.

Biff: Where did the Bronco Crushers go? I haven’t seen them on the field since early January. Mad Dog Madden must be contemplating his next move. Hope he is ok. His counterparts in the NFL sure made a run!

Swaltzy: I hope he can pull things together to get a few more games in this year. Yup. Broncos win Superbowl 50!

Biff: Speaking of sabbaticals, I heard Cleon Salmon is heading over to Japan for a few weeks. I heard he will be consulting with the Ashigaru Blood Bowl league in hopes he can help aid his team.

Swaltzy: Martial arts could come in handy, Biff. I shudder to see what a Werewolf or Golemn could do with that tech!

Biff: I also heard Ghorros Havoc and his little mama are adopting another child. All those chaos-kidlets make it tough to run a team. Busy, busy, busy.

Swaltzy: Where does anyone find the time when you have kidlets?

Biff: Finally we must make a note of Dino-Mite and Maximus’ Marauders. They have had a slow start this year.

Swaltzy: It all boils down to time, Biff. Blink and time is gone. I hope they can get a few more games in over the next week. Both teams show great potential. They will get there!

Biff: Yes, I am glad Entropis and Mikus joined this year. It is good to have new blood in the bowl.

Swaltzy: Even if the Early Season was a bit slow I am certainly looking forward to the annual All-Star game on Feb 20.

Biff: I heard the Green Un’ will be mixing things up this year. It should be a doozey!

Swaltzy: I can’t wait. I am in on the secret but cannot talk, yet.

Biff: I guess I must be chopped liver, then.

Swaltzy: Don’t worry Biff. Your fans still love ya!

Swaltzy: Well that is going to wrap things up for another session of RFBBL talk. Have a great night. Remember. Blood Bowl is a lifestyle. Not a style.

Biff: Good night everyone!

_________________
If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Mon Feb 29, 2016 7:48 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2013 8:10 pm
Posts: 298
Location: Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada
Lord Bulworth's Decree
Hark! Your Lord Bulworth Decrees that blood bowl matches will no longer be 16 turnings of the watch per team. 14 shall be the number of the turnings of the watch only. 7 turnings per half game if that makes the math easier for your weak brains. If a pathetic team of losers (You know who you are!) shall be unable to score within the 7 turns per half, that is but mere sadness for them. No longer shall we tolerate 8th turn nonsense! It is so decreed! Adjust your schedule for future games to abide by this new decree.
If your Lord Bulworth is further unsatisfied by the result of this new rule, your Lord Bulworth reserves the right to further shorten your future blood bowl matches. Do not abuse the 7th turn as the 8th turn has been abused! You have been Warned!

(Editor's Note: Lord Bulworth is the Slaan coach / this posting has come after his third or fourth 16th turn TD loss...)

_________________
If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2016 5:24 pm 
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Location: Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada
How Many Booms in a Boom?

“I never tawt I wud see duh day”, grugged Turunga Meeple Leafs Ogre, Comes duh Boom. “Orcs, Nurgles, future star ‘lings and probably more want my name. MY NAME! What a glorious day!”

“We all thought, 'what the heck is happening' when all these “Brainy” coaches were showing up in the league”, stated Gorg Nogger, a local RFBBL fan. “Comes da Boom will soon become the top chant in the league. Only problem is which ‘Boom’ do they mean? To be honest, I don’t really get the appeal of the name. It is kinda heavy.”

Appeal or not, Comes duh Boom now officially has the highest bounty on his head at a meagre 220k.

“E’z Nak’ng un meez naam”, howled Comes Da Boom, a Black Orc Blocker from Zorbug’s Best Basha’s.

“E e e z z N n a a a k k ‘ n n g g u u n n m m m m m m e e e e z z n n a a a m” sludged Comes Do Boom, a Nurgle Rotter from the Children of the Damned.

Despite Comes duh Booms elation about the glorification of his name, Meeple Leef’s head coach, Rokkik Thorwulfsson is livid. Declining a formal interview, he sent a Twitty (trademark) indicating he will be challenging any Comes duh Boom imposters and eating them for chicken dinner.

I must say, in all of my years of reporting this might be the strangest phenomena yet.

~Burnt Cookies – star reporter / Regina Morning Follower

(my league never fails to crack me up.... one coach decided to spoof another players name and now other coaches are planning to do the same! I think Nuffle is taking his toll on us... ~mb)

_________________
If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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