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 Post subject: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2014 1:52 am 
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Hey everyone,

I have some fluff from our league antics this year.

First of all - one of our coaches wanted to keep his team but rename his players. After a bunch of consideration I allowed it. But to punish him for such a silly request I gave two of his players a new skill - sex changed. I am still unsure what in game rules to create for these poor gender confused lizards.

Secondly... as our league uses bounties we weren't getting much action from the coaches. So I put a post stating the citizens of Regina demand more 'eads. Each coach could nominate two players for the 50K bounty and a bath and spa treatment.

A few gits decided to nominate players on my team. So I thanked them, called them 'emmeroids, and gave them a free gift of preparation h for their team picture.

When the draw was made our goblin coach (Da Rottin' Eye Raiderz) made a post stating the commissioner (me) had a chance to really clean up this league but failed. He then put a 50K bounty on my head. (still not sure how to do that with our current site..)

Since then the goblin coach has mysteriously gone missing. In his place their is a big brutish female goblin named princess patti running the team.

Here were my rules for this:

A few rules specific to Da Rottin' Eye Raiderz:

As long as Princess Patti is in charge of da Raiderz she can do the following:

All attempts to argue the call get +1. The refs are just as terrified of this hideous being as Brute and Glob.

Brute and Globe must wear pink tutu's every game Patti coaches. They therefore gain the free skill "fairy princess". (no real game rules for this as of yet)

If any player on her team rolls for an opponents armour / and injury after making a block and gets a "2" result Princess Patti grabs them by the ear and hauls them off for the rest of the drive.

Once Verm Gombardi is found he can return as head coach of the Raiderz. For that game his team will be so relieved they get a bonus re-roll both halves.

When you run a league/campaign the possibilities are endless. It is pretty fun to get this kind of stuff taking place. Most of us are good friends and have been gaming together for quite a while so it is all in good humour.

Cheers,
Michael (Da Big Green 'Un)
www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com

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If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2014 7:39 am 
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Ask Lord Borak (Part 1)
"On another note, the Dodgers would like to have an official investigation on why their coach is ejected every time he has a civil disagreement with the Refs about how his players mistake the opponents' head for the ball when they were kicking at it."
- Webby Leafblower

Well Webby.. Let me tell you a story... Once upon a time in magical pixie land lived some wood elves..

Most Blood Bowl teams surround the player before their dirty player/sneaky git starts kicking. But when your pansy wood elves think of such a thing they always spend 30 seconds arguing. "You do it", says one. "My hair will get too messy", says another. "I simply can't kick that ugly, hideous being. My foot will get warts."

Finally after all this little girl gossip has ended the little twirls and pirouttes begin. Because everyone knows anything from the land of discarded foilage must have style and grace...

Pray tell, how can the refs miss that kinda stuff?

Webby Leafblower - take it from a Seasoned Warrior like me. Leave the fouls to the Gobbos and just concentrate on your balls.

Sincerely,
Lord Borak

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Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2014 5:14 pm 
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Happy Days?
A massive green tide swept the University district this afternoon as hundreds of drop-out students protested the complete atrophy of the Wanted!! section of the RFBBL.

The RFBBL, currently in its second season, only has two active "Bounties". The fans are demanding more.

Sminov Icycle stated, "How can a Blood Bowl Organization as prestigious as the RFBBL have only TWO Bounties? I don't care if we have pansy coaches like Carnage Claybaby or Mad Dog Maiden on our payroll. Taxpayers pay good money to see this kinda stuff you know."

Shaking three fists in the air Henry Winky Winkleer agreed with Icycle. "How's can you be's cool if you ain't wanted? Besides... school is not everything ya know? There is good money in Pro Sports and Happy Days."

League Commissioner, Da Big Green 'Un, had this to say, "Wez wurk'n on itz."

In the interim, 2514 Flatland Cup coaches are allowed to nominate two active players participating this season. Private votes can be sent directly to the League Commissioner. You can be assured that your votes will be handled in a completely unfair and biased fashion.

"Da Big Green 'Un undyrztandz yur 'urtz."

The winners will be announced on Friday, Feb 28. In addition to a pedicure and bath salt spa treatment these two bathing beauties will also gain a 50K bounty as funded by the citizens of Regina.

We already know what you are thinking. Bumping that haughty player on your own team won't get you the street credit ya filthy animals.

"Butz meez lykz huw yur tynk'ng!"

~Burnt Cookies - star reporter / Regina Morning Follower

-----

Wer getting murdured out there! (by da Rottin' Eye Raiderz Goblin Coach Verm Gombardi)
The teams got 'eart n guts. We shows ar 'eart n guts night after nite. But sometimes it's just too much 'eart n guts and blud ...and blud for even a gobbo like me.

I shuddo nown we wer in trubble rite away.
"Look coach, they gots goblins too," says one of the lads. Whats the world commin too when goblins fight side by next with a lot a stinky duwarfs. They'll let anyone in this dam league!
"And theys got ponies too," says Kingsley. Now Glob is getting innerested, "Eat pony!" He's been sad evver sinse we fot the 'orsemen and they didn't bring any 'orses. I cud tell he thought it was his big chance to finnally eat an 'orse.
"I don't know what the heck those are," I says, "but they dont look like no ponys to me. You can eat one if you wants but don't complayne to me wen you get a tummy ake." Bah, eat a pony. Sheesh!

Not only was it gobbos and dawarfs but what gobbos and duwarfs. The hole team was a bunch of misfits. Big goblins and weerd lookin dawarfs. And those pony things. I still don't know if they ride them or what they do. Yiech!

Ghrim rallied the troops. "Look fellas, I knows they look funny but there stinky, there 'airy and they burp too much. Thas just like reglar duwarfs."

The match started well. The new fella Rocket bobbed and weaved and zagged and scored a tuchdown rite away. He was just too lighning fast for there weerd stumpy legs. It was beyootiful, at least until they broke 'is 'ead. But it was all down the hill from there. They kept knocking us out and any kind of dawarfs always gots those 'ard 'eads.

Haf way thru the 2nd haf the assisstant coach Fat Morty turns to me an says, "I think were in trubble coach!" You think wer in trubble! What gave it away? The fact that we gots 2 guys on the pitch. Ones face down in a heap near the sidelines and the others a curled up troll whats bawling like a baby alf. I mean the Brimstones are a sick bunch of mutant freak weirdo dawarfs and goblins and ... whatevers. But there is nothing so sick as seeing a grown troll cry. For Morks sake fight back! They just surrounded him and kept hitting and hitting and hitting. I was looking for the ref but the fans had got 'im early in the 2nd haf. I thought they might got us next, having made them see a grown troll cry!

We finally caried him off in a heap leavin jus Raz still curled up in a ball near the sidelines. The bloody giant bull-man thing even scored after that. I eard him called a minitar but he looked pretty big to me.

For the kick-off we wers only left with Raz, Kingsly and Montana Joe. They gathered round. "What's the play coach?"
"Wots the play? Hav you ben hit in the 'ed too much? They gots there hol team and we gots three. Do the math lad. Thats a nine to three advantage, Were outnumbered four to one. Theres a time to fight, a time to stand up and make a stand. But this aint that time. Run for your lives is the play! This is a time to hunker down and think of the insurance rates. Were getting our 'eds bashed in out there but its the rising premiums that are murduring us!"
- Verm Gombardi

-----
Wee Lyttyl 'Unz (by League Commissioner Da Big Green 'Un (also head coach of The Brimztone Zlayer'z Chaos Dwarf team)
Aftyr reedyng dat mozt ezellent bulletyn by Verm Gombardi, "Wer getting murdured out there!" I muzt zay I wuz muv'd.

Iz waz der fur dat gamz und ytz waz Un 'eck uv a matcz!

Yn ord'r tu givz da lyttyl guyz a chanz (Gobbos und Halfiez) dez cun ztartz witz morz guyz. Un morz dan uzul. Zo likz umm... hmm.. wateva dat numba yz.

Ulzo... dunt furgetz tu gytz yur nomynatyonz fur de 50K Bownteez beefurz Frydayz.
- Da Big Green ´Un
-----
The Fans have Spoken
Breaking News:

A small crowd gathered near Regina City Hall tonight as the 2514 Fans Choice - Most Wanted Awards were announced.

"For f&^% sakes it is freezing in this absurd city," stated Grichitta Gizzlenards. "Why would anyone live in a place where it is -60 degrees Celsius? We can't enjoy games in this absurdity."

With the extreme weather overshadowing the ceremony, without further ado here are the glorious winners:

Fearless Frederick - Desert Dragons
and
Zezal Torlyl - Menzoberanzan Shadowblades

Of course many fans were disappointed their favourites weren't chosen.

"Demz da Brakz," was the only comment from Da Big Green 'Un.

Boys - your spa and pedicure package are now in the mail. Enjoy them while you can. Money for nothing some might say.

~Burnt Cookies – star reporter / Regina Morning Follower

-----
Secret Private Votes
Iama letting evryone knows my votes for the bountys because iama gobbo an thas how we doos the business. I was gonna vote for my team cause we're goblins an we cud honestly use the spa and bath but since it comes wit the bounty we'll pass on that.

Vote 1 goes to Erik of the Stinking Mighty Humes. He was prancing around throwing the ball here and throwing the ball there and handing off and throwing and throwing again and it really was jus altogether too much. We goblins cud throw likes that but we've got the shor' arms and we donts like to showe off like zat.

Vote 2 was goink to the Hairy Avengers cause i hates the dawarfs but honestly theys arnt rilly that good. Soes i gonna votes for the Creepy Freek Slayers. I knows they aint that good niether but theys are still duwarfs, I think. The pony wot with the Mad Eye is the one most in need of the bath soes he gets my vote. I knows hes not reelly a duwarf but they ride him around and thas jus not rite.
- Verm Gombardi
-----
Tankz furz da Nomynat'nz!!
Tu ullz da koch'z whuz numynat'd uz wez appreziatz itz!! Enjuyz yur freez giftz ya 'emmroydz!!

http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleag ... tionh.jpg- Da Big Green ´Un
-----
Yer Welcome
Da Commish has gone mad with power. Hees making a mockery of us all. Handing out bounteez left and rite and allways ta the rong playerz. He culd've cleaned up the league some with bounties on the rotten dawarfs (we came close to kleening thier clocks on Saturday, but alas). Or he culd've put the bounties on the stinkin' humes what are making us all look bad with there ring-around-the-rosy passing silliness. But thats not how he duz it.

So i sez "Lets clean up this league!" I'm gonna put my own bounty on... da commish hisself, Da Big Green On. Thas right, 50000 clams to the furst to rid us of this calamity. Say no to Duwarfs, say no to mary-go-round passin gamez and say no to the Big Green 'Un by chucking a rock at his 'ed.

Sinse were soon to haf an openning for top boss posishyen. I open the floor to nominashons and I hereby nominate ... Verm Gombardi. All in favour? "AYE!"
- Verm Gombardi
-----
Where in the Old World is Verm Gombardi?
Blood Bowl fans were shocked to see a new head coach at last nights game between the Slammin' Salmons and Da Rottin' Eye Raiderz.

Instead of the usual short stout slightly balding Gobbo there was a Beastly Goblin chicky in a sparkly princess uniform. She carried a magic wand with a star and kept prancing around in her ballet shoes.

"We kantz huv dyz kynda dyz'graz in Wegyna," stated Da Big Green 'Un in a formal press conference this morning.

"I know that woman... she used to be a tranny at the Rainbow!" stated Maurice de Mousier. "I think she went by the name Princess Patti Big Bawlz."

Adding further insult after the Raiderz 2 - 0 loss, their Trolls - Glob and Brute were supposedly forced onto the field adorned in pink tutus.

"Paty zayd wez huz to wayrz dem pynky tutuz ur elz zhe wuz gunna zitz on uz," stated Glob in a top secret interview. "I wuz zkar'd tu def."

Family members and a few of the Raiderz veterans (if you can call them that) are frantically searching for Verm Gombardi. But no one has seen or heard from him since his last match Saturday night.

"I think them Brimztone's roughed him up a bit after that sick post about bumping the Big Green 'Un." said Stan "da man" Ditka. "I mean look - Verm's team has played 12 games this season. 57 casualties received including 12 dead goblins. Do we really want a coach like this gaining the reigns on the RFBBL?" He has trouble enough with his depends AND keeping his boys alive. We would all be dead if that git was in charge."

The Brimztone Zlay'erz declined all comments.

In the meantime people have been warned that a few cravenly gits may try to impersonate him. Please don't fall for it people.

"Iz noz ytz 'ard tu dyztyngwiz Gobbos frum each uver. Butz wez gutz tu be zurz itz weely 'im. Ifz yuz zeez da reel Verm pweez bryng imz ztraatz tu mez." says the League Commissioner.

~Burnt Cookies – star reporter / Regina Morning Follower
- Da Big Green ´Un
-----
Yer Welcome - part 2
The Big Commish Goes absotutely Bonkers with Power

Have you evr sene such a blatant 'n grievous misuse of power. But if life gives you lemons than i sayz you jist rolls withem.

Now the big blockers up front have gots a new skillz set which i am sure will be useful in a pinch. And the truth iz, your truly has alwayz wanted to be a pretty goblin prinzess and i've gots the underpants to provet. Evryone knows goblin princess's hav all the fun, so until i can finds me a wizard wot nos the rite spells iama gonna make the most of the situashon.

I am hereby withdrawing my nominashin for Boss Verm Gombardi as new commish and nominatin' Princess Patti as commishner. All in favor? "AYE!"

PS. I've got some good chuckin' rocks so's just ask if you wants some.
- Princess Patti Big Bawlz
-----

False Alarms
After a week long manhunt Regina Police have discontinued their search for da Rottin' Eye Raiderz coach Verm Gombardi.

"The streets have been littered with Missing posters", stated Orange Bronco Crusher coach Mad Dog Madden. "Stuff like this is so good for the printing business, bless that Gobbo's soul!"

"With the recent warm weather this weekend, the streets have become quite hazardous for someone so small", says Golo Guildometer of the CBC environmental weather service. "A goblin could easily drown in all that mucky snow melt."

Chief missing person investigator, Constable Vingo McMurdy, has "supposedly" interrogated the entire Brimztone staff. Both McMurdy and Da Big Green 'Un have declined all comments.

"I wuz pwetty zure I zaw him frozen to da metal wyndow over at Dancer'z lazt week", said former team-mate Goblin Joe. "But it wuzn't 'im. Dat poor git - dat place haz been shutz down for u whyle now?"

Nobody was sure why Goblin Joe was at that location, however.

In the interim, da Rottin' Eye Raiderz have been an extremely quiet team this past week. Numerous false alarms must have them very tired. Or perhaps it is all the dodging away from Princess Patty Big Bawlz.

~Burnt Cookies – star reporter / Regina Morning Follower
- Da Big Green ´Un
----

to be continued...

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If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2014 7:25 pm 
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Wow

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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 5:32 pm 
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FRA Arrests - Tegu Lizdry and Robius Fordius
Late last night former Desert Dragons Head Coach, Tegu Lizdry, was arrested by the RCMP in his swampy winter retreat near Regina Beach.

Lizdry left his lackluster coaching career in the RFBBL at the beginning of this season when his good friend, Robius Fordius, offered him top position with the Federal Regeneration Agency. They met at Turunga College way back in 1997. Last year both narrowly avoided jail time when they plead Guilty to using Crack Rogaine.

Petitions have already gone up from non-profit activist group RMHU (Regeneration Makes Healthy Undead). They are demanding Lizdry and Fordius be exiled to Lustria.

Lizdry apparently was using Sex-Changed Skinks to create the official Scrolls of Regeneration for the CBBL (Canadian Blood Bowl League). The skinks were under deliberate orders (via Lizdry himself) to mis-translate the scrolls causing them to fail at least 93% of the time.

In a formal interview, The Walker's Head Coach, Jonny Slammer, had this to say, "I am furious. Heads are going to roll from this day forward. And then I am going to dig them up again personally. It is going to be ugly people. I guarantee it."

The Walker's have had a terrible string of events this season. A closure to the RFA Regeneration Scroll Scandal will hopefully stop the bleeding. Knightmare (Wight / 36 SPP's), Son of Mumm-Ra (Mummy / 42 SPP's), and now LC (Ghoul / 85 SPP's) have all been killed within the past few weeks. And to rub salt into the Walkers wounds Lethargy (Ghoul / 41 SPP's) was forced to retire as well.

"It is just not right", said number one Walker's Fan Minnie von Pearl. "The Undead regenerate. That is just how it is. I am overwhelmed today. I demand the Bobbit Penalty for Fordius and Lizdry!"

Life Challenged (LC) was the league's second most experienced player, only a few SPP's behind her team-mate Leaky. And most fans did not know LC (or Elsie) was also the league's top thrower. Yes people, not a human or a Wood Elf - a little Girly Ghoulie.

"Damn LC.. For f*&^ sakes... She popped her head up at the last minute. I didn't mean to hoof her. She was such a fierce opponent. I really dun't likz bumping da chickz", said Mad-Eye Ska-sta-khan.

Despite the ongoing trial we expect a record breaking crowd at the double funeral on Sunday.

"I would expect most of Regina and perhaps Saskatchewan to be in attendance", noted lead Administrator, Howard Huggie, at Regina Memorial. "Son of Mumm-Ra and LC were two of the best. We already have about 3000 Zombies outside our office. Our poor Halfling biscuit crews have been working 24/7 for the internment. If they wouldn't eat 1/2 of what they made we would probably be ok."

Whatever happens from then till now, it should be an interesting All-Star Game this Saturday.

~Burnt Cookies – star reporter / Regina Morning Follower

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If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 7:49 pm 
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Saynt Patrykz Day!
Itz Saynt Patrykz Day und Da Big Green 'un zayz wez muzt awl zelybrat!

Fur awlz da gamz tunyt it kud bee fun az 'eck!

Be furz da gamz eech pway'r rullz 1d6. If itz a "1" dey 'ad a few tu many wen da koach wuzn't lukyng.

Dat play'r iz a bone-ed (ifz yur nutz awedy) fur da gamz. Butz yf 'ez KO'd putz 'ym yn da rezervz ynzted.

Ulzo eech teem getz Un freez Bludwyzr babz komplymyntz Da Leeg Kommish!

'Appy Saynt Patrykz Day evry'un!

Translation (via Luv'n da Ork Luva):
St. Patrick's Day

It's St. Patrick's Day and Da Big Green 'Un says we must all celebrate!

For all the games tonight should be fun as heck!

Before the game each player should roll 1d6. If it is a "1" that player had a few too many when the coach wasn't looking.

The player is Bone-headed this match (if not already). But if the player is knocked out put them in the reserves box instead.

Also, each team gets a free Bloodweiser Babe compliments the League Commissioner.

Happy St. Patricks Day everyone!
- Da Big Green ´Un

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If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2014 4:38 am 
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Mar. 18th, 2014 - Help save the humans !!!
Help save the humans from being infected with Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy. Research in 2008 suggested that the disease was caused by a genetic mutation within a gene called the prion protein gene. Patient zero is suspected to be from an infected test case during the half human / half bull genetic engineering process. Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (BSE) is a fatal neurodegenerative disease (encephalopathy) in that causes a spongy degeneration in the brain and spinal cord. BSE has a long incubation period, about 30 months to 8 years, usually affecting adults at a peak age onset of four to five years, all breeds being equally susceptible. The disease is easily transmitted to humans. It should also be noted that the infectious agent, although most highly concentrated in nervous tissue, can be found in virtually all tissues throughout the body, including blood. Animals affected by BSE are usually apart from the herd and will show progressively deteriorating behavioral and neurological signs. One notable sign is an increase in aggression. It will react excessively to noise or touch and will slowly become ataxic. Systemic signs of disease, such as a drop in milk production, anorexia and lethargy, are present.

I don't need a degree in genetic engineering to suspect both Bull Centaurs to be infected! With 4 human Blood Bowl teams the league can not over look this any longer. Lobby the RFBBL head office to rid the league of these 2 genetic mutant beasts.

In the meantime, whatever you do if you kill one of these on the field, DO NOT EAT THE MEAT. Destroy the carcass completely.
- Carnage Clayton (Desert Dragons / Lizardmen Head Coach)

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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2014 6:02 am 
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Ask Lord Borak (Part 2)
Dear Lord Borak,

Earlier this evening I read a pamphlet from Carnage Clayton, Head Coach of The Desert Dragons, stating Bull Centaurs are a threat to humanity. Basically, he said humans could potentially be infected with Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy. We shouldn't eat the meat and should also destroy the carcass completely. Is this really true? BSE sounds mighty terrifying if you ask me.

Sincerely,
Stan-dard - former Human Lineman / Turunga Meeple Leafs

Stan-dard, as always, my good friend, when you have a question as complicated as this one it pays to go to the top.

As an elite member of the Chaos community I have had the pleasure of visiting the Tower of Zharr-Nagrund and the splendor known as the Temple of Hashut. The temple is guarded by Bull Centaurs which were mutated from Chaos Dwarfs long, long ago.

To most simple human folk their rituals are well... let's say unorthodox. But that is another story.

So instead let's put things into perspective.

First of all, these pamphlets were created by Carnage Clayton. Herr Clayton is on his tippy toes these days. Very few people know he was part of the Crack Rogaine ring which recently has landed his old buddy Tegu Lizdry in the slammer. Oops. I guess the cat is out of the bag..

Now we all know Lizards are somewhat jealous of us warm-blooded creations. We don't need to retreat to caverns every winter to barely stay alive. They must be very aware of the weather situation, whereas we can just put up an umbrella. A sudden blast of cold winter air can stop them dead.

If you look up the Wikipedia entry for BSE you will quickly realize this is simple plagiarism. I don't think we need a genetic engineer indeed..

BSE refers to Mad Cow disease. I don't know about you but the last time I looked at a Bull Centaur it was a wee bit different than your Stan-dard Bovine.

Stan-dard, I am pretty sure you wouldn't eat a Dwarf. Which means you wouldn't likely be chomping on a Chaos Dwarf. Therefore, logically, even if you had the best Halfling chef this side of the World Edge Mountains doing the prep you still probably wouldn't eat a tough, muscled Bull Centaur.

Let me make this simple. Cows need food. Most cows eat grass and other vegetable type stuff. But a few sick, twisted Lizards have fed them animal protein and only Hashut himself knows what else. And when a human eats that poor cow it's gonna make them really sick.

This little propaganda stint reminds me of something my old pal Bruce Dickinson sings,

Fear of the dark,
fear of the dark
I have constant fear that something's always near
Fear of the dark,
fear of the dark
I have a phobia that someone's always there

There is no need to be scared of the unknown. Knowledge is indeed power.

Stan-dard do both of us a favour and leave the Bull Centaurs off the menu.

Sincerely,
Lord Borak

(By the way, all this talk of steak is making me hungry. I am off to Memories to treat myself to a non-BSE Filet Mignon! Feel free to drop by and say hi if you wish!)

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If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2014 3:11 pm 
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Very nice! I love a league that promotes the fluff. We have a magazine that has most, although we get about 250-350 messages a month from any of our 18 coaches which perpetuates the fluff. I'm beginning to post our newsletters on TFF: viewtopic.php?f=79&t=39623

I'm not a huge fan of the fluff altering the rules (extra rerolls, etc.), however offering rewards to coaches who are overly creative is good. These shouldn't put any given game out of balance though.

We have a wanted list as well and if you want to bulk it up, you can try a "league match" where the league doubles the proposed bounty.

Keep up the great work!

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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2014 3:53 pm 
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what day does the Flatland League play on and where? I am in Regina once a month/every second month and would love to come down and play a fun game with you

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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2014 4:31 pm 
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James, we have a free form league (i.e. no scheduled matches per se). But if you are in Regina feel free to send me a note giving me a bit of lead time. If I am here we can definitely setup a game or two.

Michael

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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 10:13 pm 
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Welcome Back Verm?
Breaking News:

After a month long search, da Rottin' Eye Raiderz Head Coach, Verm Gombardi, has been found.

Late last night Regina City Police swarmed the penthouse suite at the Hotel Saskatchewan. After a four hour standoff Princess Patti Big Bawlz was taken by force.

"It was apparent she wasn't going to open the door anyday soon so we had to make our move", said Special Forces Officer Grim Mcnutty. "We broke down the door and had sixteen officers (according to Nuffle) storm in with pepper spray and silly gas. Thankfully only thirteen of our crew sustained serious injuries. That wasn't even as many casualties as that match between The Turunga Meeple Leafs and da Raiderz the other night."

Princess Patti had been reportedly living the high life this past month. She had been seen nightly at Casino Regina spending loads of counterfeit money.

"The dough she was putting on the tables didn't smell right", commented Sask Gaming CEO, Billy "Eagle Eye" Swindler. "It had a fresh minty peppermint smell. It didn't take us long to put two and three together to make six."

Patti had been laundering the money via the free services offered long term guests by the Hotel Saskatchewan. The treasury of the Raiderz has been steadily and rapidly decreasing since her take-over of the Goblin Organization earlier this month.

Bertha Bedchamber, head of Hotel Sask. housecleaning commented, "Every night she asked me to do this special load of laundry. It was in a black lingerie bag and she asked for this special detergent to be used instead of the normal Tidy we use. The laundry bag ripped slightly and inside were all these bills. Ok. No, it didn't rip... I just wanted to peek at her lingerie cause she is just my size right...? Ooops. I didn't say that did I?"

"The room was an absolute disaster", stated McNutty. "Whips and chains, feathers, and a bunch of leather everywhere. And strewn out on the bed with only his codpiece was poor ol' Verm."

Two other accomplices, both former RFBBL players, were also taken in the raid. "We have charged Clever Clive (Desert Dragons) and Goblin Joe (da Rottin' Eye Raiderz) for participating in a lewd crimanal act, posession of Crack Rogaine over 1 kg, and conduct not becoming a former RFBBL player."

"Und ev'ryun sad itz wuz uz", said League Commissioner Da Big Green 'Un. "Id stryp dem tu gitz uv der tytlz butz dey dunt huv anyz."

It is expected Patti will have her first hearing at Provincial Court Thursday morning. It is also expected she will post bail immediately.

"We can't have ladies like this in our jails. She will eat us out of house and home", stated Judge Skinny Mulminny.

Chief Prosecuter, Jelly Hamstring, expects her bail will be posted at an outlandish rate of a Tim Hortons triple-triple and nine jelly donuts.

"We can't really post her bail via cash cause we already know it is fake", stated Hamstring.

In the interim, nobody is really sure what might happen next. Will Verm return to da Raiderz head position or will he take a much needed vacation?

For all of your latest news, sports and weather keep it locked to our 24 HR newsroom.

~Burnt Cookies – star reporter / Regina Morning Follower

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Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2014 4:44 pm 
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Assassination Attempts?
In a highly controversial move, RFBBL Commissioner, Da Big Green 'Un, has stated any teams which did not play at least four games early season and four games late season will be disqualified from the play-offs.

"Dez rulz wuz dizkuz'd in da koachz meetyng at da begyn'ng uv da zeezun. Und da teemz juzt gutz lazy", stated the Commissioner.

This means our reptillian League Leaders, The Desert Dragons with an outstanding season (12-3-1) are elimnated. They earned 55 points this year.

It also means the much beloved and nimble Wood Elf team, The Redwood Dodgers, with a season of 11-1-2 (48 points) are out.

Most surprisingly, however, it also eliminates our second point team, the Commissioners own, Brimztone Zlay'erz. They had a tough early go but turned the ship around to a 9-3-7 (49 points).

In disgust the Desert Dragon head coach, Tegu Lizdry, has quit. Some sources indicated he was fired but we have not been able to find the cold-blooded fiend. Hopefully he will stay away from his old Rogaine mates. But that should be easy unless he volunteers to hit the city cells.

"It seems the whole province of Saskatchewan is in mourning yet again this morning. This year has gone from one mess to another." stated Granna Kinklenardz, an Orange Bronco Crusher season ticket holder.

A mess indeed especially for fans of the Crushers. It is expected they will surely take the yearly Wooden Spoon Award.

We have no return contenders. The Sons of Woden have been absent as they have been called to duty in Ontario for pillaging, trading, and general operations. The Menzoberanzan Shadowblades had a short season as they were trying to find a new home stadium. And last year's runner up to the Flatland Cup, Zorbug's Best Basha's were too busy waging war Warhammer style.

All of this being said we have only five eligible teams who make the post-season.

"I can understand The Walkers and The Mighty Marvels making the cut but the others? What a load of fungus. I mean we have the Misty Mountain Revengers with a 5-6-12 record (21.7% win ratio), da Rottin' Eye Raiderz (17.6% win ratio) and The Turunga Meeple Leafs (21.4% win ratio). This is absurd." exclaimed Rutgut Swilhelm, lead economist for the National Viking Society.

"I think the Dragons, the Dodgers, the Zlay'erz, and perhaps the Slammin Salmon's should just do their own thing and create a new trophy or league or whatever", said Stumpy Blackheart, a Chaos Dwarf from Moose Jaw.

Gizmo Hurtenbach from Winnipeg stated this on our hotline, "I hope Da Big Green Un' gets what is coming to him. He deserves nothing shy of a knife. How come a Black Orc is in charge of anything is beyond me."

With only five teams in the play-offs it is certainly bound to become the season of controversy. But as this is Blood Bowl anything can happen.

~Burnt Cookies – star reporter / Regina Morning Follower

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Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2015 6:39 pm 
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Canadian blood bowl
It has come to my attention that we have been playing this game all wrong. We are in Canada so why aren't we playing Canadian rules.
1. The field we play on is to small, it should be longer and wider.
2. We should have 12 players on the field not 11.
3. There should be less turns

There probably are more rules that I'm over looking but these 3 i think are the main ones that should be changed. This is Canada and we should be playing by our rules. We Canadians are proud of our football and will kick any ones ass who says that our football is inferior to others. And if you don't like it go play back to your blood baseball and blood basketball, bunch of wussies if you ask me.

Excelsior
Stan "the man" Ditka

Ask Lord Borak
Dear Lord Borak,

Recently I read a comment from Stan “the man” Ditka regarding proposed changes to Blood Bowl rules which align more to the Canadian style of football. I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

Sincerely,
Ronald E Lang Kashsta

Ronnie, thanks for your note today. I was going to comment on this Canadian stuff but now you have given me a reason.

As we are all aware the Canadian Football League (CFL) is a bit of a beast. They have longer fields and less time to “make it”. There is more passing and I am not talking gas here bud.

Different stadiums do indeed have different fields. I am not sure you are aware, but the Storm Giant fields of old were a sight indeed. Some teams would take ½ a day just to make a few paces.

Although I agree more players on the pitch would be a good thing the laws of NUFfle are a fickle lady. Many years ago, probably before you were born Ronnie, Blood Bowl was a different animal. Did you know that players could be replaced as the game was in progress? Yes, my friend, yes… Coaches did not need to wait for a TD or half-time. If someone was knocked out or injured you would send an immediate replacement up the Astrogranite ™ steps. Having a full roster of 16 players was power. Power. What a great word.

In fact, before 2482 there wasn’t even a player roster limit. After 700+ Halflings had died in one match vs. the Asgard Ravens they made a wee small change to the bench rules.

Cost-cutting is really hurting this game. In the old days we didn’t care about “inducements”. All this nonsense of journeymen and mercenaries is a load of dung. If a team only had 3 Halflings to start a match they still played. And they got slaughtered. And let me tell you Ronnie - we all loved it.

Although Blood Bowl is currently the cheapest form of professional sporting events I don’t think the game should be any shorter. I mean the slim number of fans we do have often travel a long way just to get to the game. Not everyone has a Mumak or Slaanesh chariot ya know. And the cold this time of the year could even freeze a Humble Bumble.

To be honest I think Blood Baseball or Blood Basketball or hell… Blood anything might be a lot of fun. Except Blood Soccer that is. If a “soccer” player gets a tap on their shin guarded shin they roll around for a few days. Wussies indeed. In fact I have a few better names than Wussie but we will keep things PG today.

Well, I could ramble on but I have harems to attend and wars to command..

Sincerely,
Lord Borak

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Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
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 Post subject: Re: some fluff from our league - Regina Flatland
 Post Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2015 5:46 pm 
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Dance Lessons
You are cordially invited to the free dance lessons the Dodgers are providing to Bertha's Ballet Babes tomorrow eve! Following the lessons free showers will be offered to all ogres and greenskins, in fact free showers will be offered before hand as well.
- Webby Leafblower (head coach Redwood Dodgers / Wood Elf team)

-------------------------------
Free Showers Indeed
I just read the Redline Dodgers are offering free showers for my team before and after our game tonight. (Yes, I spelled the name of your team incorrect on purpose. My name is Berta not Bertha. Get it straight already).

I have heard about this secret fetish Elves have. It is scary in my opinion. Cross racial perversion I say. They probably have hidden camera's everywhere in their locker room.

In fact, I firmly believe they are just waiting for us to bend over so they can rub one off.

Never trust an Elf so some have said.

Thanks but no thanks Webby Leafblower. The grace of true dance majesty is in the eye of the beholder.

~Berta (Head Coach Berta'z 'Ballet' Beyb'z / Ogre team)

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Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
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