Da Howse ov Flyin Goblinz

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furstyferret
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Da Howse ov Flyin Goblinz

Post by furstyferret »

Head Coach: Tark Tickle
Team Rating: 97
Treasury: 130,000
Re-rolls: 3
Fan Factor: 2
Chearleader: 1
Ass. Coaches: 1

Current Team:
1. Goblin 6/2/3/7 Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty. 2 SPP
2. Goblin 6/2/3/7 Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty. 5 SPP
3. Goblin 6/2/3/7 Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty. 3 SPP
4. Goblin 6/2/3/7 Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty. 3 SPP
5. Goblin 6/2/3/7 Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty. 3 SPP
6. Troll 4/5/1/9 Always Hungry, Guard, Loner, Mighty Blow, Really Stupid, Regenerate, Throw Team Mate. 7 SPP
8. Troll 4/5/1/9 Always Hungry, Loner, Mighty Blow, Really Stupid, Regenerate, Throw Team Mate. 2 SPP
9. Looney 5/2/3/7 Chainsaw, Secret Weapon, Stunty. 0 SPP
10. Fanatic 3/7/3/7 Ball & Chain, No Hands, Secret Weapon, Stunty. 0 SPP
11. Goblin 6/2/3/7 Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty. 0 SPP
12. Goblin 6/2/3/7 Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty. 0 SPP
13. Goblin 6/2/3/7 Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty. 0 SPP
14. Goblin 6/2/3/7 Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty. 0 SPP
15. Goblin 6/2/3/7 Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty. 0 SPP

Pre-season warm-up in the Far Albion Cup, Aberdeen.

Game 1. Underblight United (Skaven) 2 Howse ov Flyin Goblinz 1
Game 2. Howse ov Flying Goblinz 3 Nasty Bots (Chaos Dwarves) 0
Game 3. Cult of the White Wolf (Norse) 1 Howse ov Flyin Goblinz 1

Number of teams: 14
Final league position: 8th
Casualties for/against: 7/13

Angus Blood Bowl Conference
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League Results

Smell the Crypt 0 - 3 Witch King Avengers
Shadow Seers 0 - 3 Smell the Crypt
Barrow Raiders 0 - 2 Orclando Doom
Orclando Doom 1 - 1 Howse ov Flyin Goblinz
Witch King Avengers 2 - 3 Violators
Crazy Claws 1 - 3 Shadow Seers
Howse ov Flyin Goblinz 2 - 0 Crazy Claws
Violators 0 - 1 Barrow Raiders
Smell the Crypt 2 - 1 Crazy Claws

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furstyferret
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Re: Da Howse ov Flyin Goblinz

Post by furstyferret »

Angus Blood Bowl Conference

Orclando Doom vs Howse ov Flyin Goblinz

It was almost perfect conditions for the Howse ov Flyin Goblinz’s league debut match in the Angus Blood Bowl Conference. Sunny skys greeted the 17,000 fans who were a sea of green as they packed into the stadium for this green-skin derby between the Goblinz and the fearsome Orclando Doom. Coming into this game from their recent 2-0 victory over the Barrow Raiders, both the Doom players and supporters were clearly up for this match against their smaller rivals.

“Da ladz ar up for dis game. Dey myt be stronga than uz, but we iz far quicka and smarta.” Pre-match reactions to the game by Goblinz head coach Tark Tickle.

Despite being the away team for this fixture, their smaller size meant the Goblinz had sneaked more fans into the ground, which gave the team an added boost during the pre-match warm up.

The coin toss was won by Orclando Doom, who took the initiative (strangely for Orcs) and decided to receive. The first drive by the Doom players followed the trusty team tactic of forming a solid cage around the ballcarrier, which began to slowly bash it’s way down the left side of the pitch. The Goblinz players tried their best to slow the attack down as much as possible, but the strength of the orcs proved too much for them. Two Goblinz players were knocked out and a Doom blitzer ran the ball confidently over the line by the mid point of the first half.

The crowd cheered for the start of the Goblinz drive as they saw local heros in the team looney and fanatic step onto the pitch. With chainsaw buzzing and ball and chain whirling the Goblinz couldn’t wait to get stuck in. Orclando Doom were being very cautious, thinking the Goblinz might try and throw one of the wee men with the ball, so set up relatively deep. After kick off the Goblinz initially ignored the ball and attempted to gain a numerical advantage, with somewhat ‘limited’ success. The fanatic spun around in the centre of the pitch giving the Trolls an additional headache, and the looney made a kamikazi lunge at a Doom blitzer, who frowned as the chainsaw chipped his freshly painted red armour. There was silence from the Goblinz fans and lots of wincing as the Doom blitzer careered into the looney, who dropped the chainsaw on himself, and a small green foot shot up into the air! Meanwhile, the Goblinz were forming a loose cage deep into Doom territory and in a final dash of the half, the ball was successfully handed off to a goblin forward, who majestically danced his way around the black orc guarding the Doom line, only to stub his toe on a rock and fall flat on his face. Half time.

After a brief team talk, the players re-entered the pitch and Doom once again kicked to the Goblinz. Instead of motivating the team, it turned out that Tark had managed to bribe the ref, who allowed the fanatic to stay on the pitch. A rapturous applause echoed around the ground as Nobbla Blackwart, the legendary looney made a guest appearance in place of the footless Goblinz equivilant. The second Goblinz drive proceeded much the same as the first, however, the fanatic sent several orcs flying and Nobbla managed to knock out a Doom black orc and linesman, much to the home fan’s disgust. Orclando Doom made life as difficult as they could for the little green men, who slowly dodged their way up the right of the pitch. In the chaos of Doom players battering their opponents, another successful hand-off by the ballcarrier to a Goblinz frontman and some nifty footwork saw him jinx away from Doom’s thrower to steal in for the equaliser.

With less that the final quarter remaining Orclando Doom were keen to restart and steal the win. Nobbla and the fanatic were finally caught up with and sent off for the mayhem they caused, and the Goblinz lined up for the kick. Two Doom blitzers smashed their way down the left side of the pitch once again and were within sigh of the endzone. Their thrower was eyeing up the pass when he noticed a Goblinz troll smash a lineman off the line of scrimmage and an almost frenzied wee man dodge past the defence and pounce on him, knocking him face first into the dirt. In an attempt to reach the ball, the little fella dived for it, slipped, and spent the final minutes hugging the magic sponge. In a last throw of the dice, a Doom lineman dodged away from one of the Goblinz player, expertly pick up the ball, and spot the distant blitzer waving for the pass. The ball left his hand, glided through the air towards the Goblinz line only bounce off the head of the last defender.

Orclando Doom 1 Howse ov Flyin Goblinz 1

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Blackhoof
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Re: Da Howse ov Flyin Goblinz

Post by Blackhoof »

Sounds like a brilliant game, I love the way you turned into a story, I will have to do it in my next report(above yours). You've gotta love gobbo's. :D

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SunDevil
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Re: Da Howse ov Flyin Goblinz

Post by SunDevil »

Great post! Keep 'em coming!

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furstyferret
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Re: Da Howse ov Flyin Goblinz

Post by furstyferret »

Previous league results added, updated table to follow.

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Re: Da Howse ov Flyin Goblinz

Post by furstyferret »

Angus Blood Bowl Conference

Howse ov Flyin Goblinz vs Crazy Claws

A glorious day greeted the teams and fans for the Angus Blood Bowl Conference match between the Howse ov Flyin Goblinz and the human newcomers, the Crazy Claws. The Goblinz were looking forward to this match as the Crazy Claws’ previous game had ended badly with the deaths of their star quarterback and two lineman. Pre-fixture the Goblinz head coach Tark hired an additional goblin and took the decision to sack the hopeless looney after his poor last performance…and the fact he now had a pegleg! Only time would tell if his replacement looney would prove any better.

The coin toss was won by the away team who chose to kick to the Goblinz. As the defending team lined up in a tight defensive formation, nervous faces around the pitch watched the two trolls scratch themselves on the touchline before the fanatic nestled between them grinning sadistically. The Goblinz began play smashing their way down the centre of the field with the trolls and fanatic at the spearhead, and forming a loose screen to either side. The ball was scooped up from the centre of the Goblinz half and ran to the safety of the troll wall on the line of scrimmage.

The Goblinz continued to push down the centre, forming a tight cage which was constantly harassed from all sides by the peskie humans. A break came for the wee men when a troll decapitated one of Claws linemen and the fanatic sent another to the knocked out box with a rather large dent in his skull. From that turn in fortune greenskins began tearing forward in seemingly random directions in order to keep the defenders guessing.

By the midpoint of the first half the Goblinz broke for the line. A troll whacked a Claws blizter from his path, a litte’un skipped up to support the forwardmost goblin on the right and another broke from the cage to pounce on the lineman marking the potential scorer. Luck wasn’t on his side and both ended up face first in the dirt, leaving a gaping hole for the humans to exploit.

The opportunity wasn’t wasted by the Claws. A blizter broke free and sprinted for the gap in the Goblinz defences, shoulder charging the ballcarrier and knocking him hard onto his back. The force of the impact fired the ball high into the air which evetually landed in the open. A claws catcher spotted the chance to make a name for himself but in his haste, fumbled the ball, which fell badly for both teams, in the centre of a four man punch-up.

The Goblinz sensed a touchdown was still on the cards but needed to clear a gap for one of their players to make a dash for it. The humans suddenly proved extremely resilient, and didn’t budge from their defensive position, much to the Goblinz fan’s annoyance. The Claws also realised a second chance to steal, having two players waiting in the Goblinz half. A human blitzer seriously injured a goblin in his attempt to clear a space, but he play was ruined as a goblin stuck out a foot and tripped the Claws’ catcher as he attempted to dodge away for the ball, knocking him out. To make matters worse, he fell onto the ball, which spun away from the scrum, much to the delight of the Goblinz coach.

With the ball in the open, the Goblinz found themselves with a clear run to the line. A wee man expertly picked up the ball and danced away from the Claws players who were grappling with his team mates. Only yards from the line he got a stitch and collapsed, but luckily was able to hand off the ball to a nearby goblin who ran the it in for a touchdown. The Goblinz fans sighed heavily, after such comical start to the match.

The shinanigins of the previous play had eaten up three quarters of the half, and to rub salt into the wound, the Claws were forced to lineup with only eight players.

Much to the surprise of the Goblinz player, the Claws were reeling from the beating they suffered worse than expected. For the remainder of the first half they retreated back to their line and chose to wait out the clock. Knowing their tiny legs wouldn’t carry them that far, the Goblinz simply shouted abuse and pulled faces while it was safe to do so. Half time.

The teams lined out for the second half, with the Claws much relieved to see the fanatic sent to the sin bin. Their relief was only short lived as the newboy looney strolled onto the pitch to a suprisingly mixed reception…especially after his predecessor’s foot amputation in the previous match.

With the Claws receiving in the second half, and the recovery of one of their players, they were clearly in the mood to crack some small skulls. The two human blizters smashed their way down the right flank, sending little guys flying in all directions, but with no lasting damage. The hole in the line allowed a catcher to jinx his way through into the open to potentially receive a pass, while the second catcher moved to the line of scrimmage over on the left where a blizer and lineman were fighting it out with their greenskin rivals.

The Goblinz on the deck sprung to their feet and pressured the blitzers on the right, supported by a troll who mustered enough intelligence to realise he was needed for the job. Claws fans were stunned into silence as they could only watch the Goblinz looney skip over to the advancing catcher and hack him down with his chainsaw. Another wee man ran from the line of scrimmage putting serious pressure on the remaining human catcher who had to act fast…

With what was possibly a rush of blood to the head, the Claws made their play. A hole was blitzed down the left allowing the ballcarrier to dodge away from his marker and rush through supported by a lineman. The blitzers on the left, however, were finding life considerably harder work, and were stuck fast by the hordes of greenskins tying them down.

It was only then that the Claws star catcher realised his mistake. Despite the distance, the Goblinz looney somehow closed the gap and swiped at the ballcarrier, cutting him down and stunning him, sending blood (and the ball) flying. The other four goblins on the left managed to gang up on the human blizter and bring him down while another was able to pick up the ball and run it to safety away from the ensuing scrum. It appeared the Claws were helpless as the wee men ran the ball down the human left flank, supported by a loose screen around the ballcarrier. Human players dodged away from their markers in a desperate attempt to get backfield but couldn’t stop the inevitable second touchdown.

With the midpoint of the second half just past, the Claws realised they had to resort to aggressive tactics. The human coach could only shake his head as his doctors failed to patch up enough players to field more than seven for the final period. Fast reactions from the Claws took the defenders by surprise, and after a quick catch off the kick, they were blizting down the left side of the pitch. A human blizter created enough space for himself to dodge to the mid way point of the Goblinz half, and the human catcher closed to the line on the left flank.

The trolls in the centre were tied down leaving only unmarked goblins on both flanks to retreat to defend their line. It was then that the humans showed their hand. The Claws catcher was forced to dodge the flying tackles of two goblins to make a short pass to the advanced human blizter. The pass was good and the catch was expertly taken despite such tight marking. Luck simply wasn’t with the human as his stern shoulder charge at the nearest marker failed to shift the goblin enough to forge a path to the line.

With only seconds remaining, the Goblinz sensed a move that would make them live up to their name and be talked about by fans for weeks…the flying goblin!! Covering little’uns dashed over to the human blitzer hugging the ball, with the final wee man throwing a diving headbutt which sent the Claws player skidding across the dirt. An unmarked goblin retrieved the ball and dashed to line of scrimmage where another little’un was stood next to a waiting troll. Goblinz fan threw Croakacola bottles onto the pitch in disgust as the goblin refused to take the handoff ending the match.

Howse ov Flyin Goblinz 2 Crazy Claws 0

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SunDevil
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Re: Da Howse ov Flyin Goblinz

Post by SunDevil »

Brilliant report! I look forward to hearing more tales of Da Howse!

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Re: Da Howse ov Flyin Goblinz

Post by furstyferret »

Thanks for the the comments. :D League table updated.

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Axtklinge
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Re: Da Howse ov Flyin Goblinz

Post by Axtklinge »

Very cool report!
Congrats on your team results too!

Cheers
A.

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