Chopping Block - Uderworld blog - Game 5

Every team has a story. If you want to tell the BB world yours, then this is the place to do it.

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bouf
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Re: Chopping Block - Uderworld blog - Game 4

Post by bouf »

Who doesn’t love watching some one get knocked out? Welcome Sports Fans to the Turkey Shoot, My name is Rex Manchild and I am your road correspondent, following all the action as it happens, for your next Favourite Blood Bowl team...

The Knoxville Turkeys!

For round 4, the Turks were up against the Goblin team Hard Out Mad Dudez which offered a mixed bag of predictions. The Goblins were sitting on top on the Casualty board for beatings dealt, and had thrown six lethal hits in only three games. Many had predicted that the Mad Dudes would run riot over Knoxville and that the ball would be only a distraction for the game. On top of that, the Mad Dudes were determined to show that the Turkeys don’t hold the patent on dirty play and had promised to out foul their opposition at all costs.

A mere five thousand fans turned up to see Knoxville play, as the fans still refuse to exit the Underworld to watch a game... The Turkeys trend for small crowds is unusual and many suspect that the round 2 draw against the BloodBunnies is to blame. The Turks won the toss and the Goblins set up for a kick. It was about then that all hell broke lose!

In a whirlwind of violence, the Turkeys set upon the Goblins with a ferocity I have never witnessed. The Turkeys were worried about getting burned by the Dudes... So they fought fire with fire. First up, the two Knoxville Blitzers knocked out two Goblins, then ‘Dirty’ Lloyd Craventhrew down a third, stunning him. LBJ called in a assist and injured the Fanatic Jimmy Nail. Leaving Jupiter Spitvalve to blitz the much feared chainsaw wielding Looney John Cutter, and in turned Knocked him out as well. Not to be out done, Mogg, Son of Gomm fouled the downed goblin off the pitch as well. In a matter of seconds the Goblins almost lost half of their team from the green!

Coach Deano was completely stunned! He desperately called a blitz from Mad dude on the ball carrying Rog Gobshire and the troll stunned him, but the Turkeys weren’t done... Loony Bin Jim knocked out Mad Dude and the rest of the Turks barged the Troll Hard Out off the pitch, where he was knocked out! Jupiter Spitvalve easily walked in a second turn TD and the goblin bribes needed to be spent already. With just a handful of Goblins to take the pitch, the damage done was too much to overcome... there were simply no players left to slow the Turkeys’ unstoppable onslaught.

Another quick TD was scored and the Turkeys found themselves ahead 2-0. The Trolls were back with Fungus The Loon himself as back up, but they couldn’t like up the Turkeys. LBJ knocked out Fungus, The Jupe fouled out a troll and Stan Shenanigans scored a Knoxville third.

When the two teams lined up for the second half, the Gobllins started to throw up a better fight, but they couldn’t get the ball past the Line of Scrimmage. They spoiled many Knoxville attempts to get the ball over the line, but Stan Shenanigans demanded that he be the one to score the fourth and being the team show pony he did just that.

All said and done, coach Deano was seen crying as the Turkeys left the stadium. He was seen after the game kicking rocks mumbling things... totally humbled and more than a little disgusted. He felt that his presence wasn’t really required and his team was never given an opportunity to play the game. Like it was all over before it started.

From this reporter’s observations, Deano was right!

I’m Rex Manchild saying; “Keep Your Neck Off the Block”

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Re: Chopping Block - Uderworld blog - Game 5

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Sometimes a plan just comes together! Sports Fans this is the Turkey Shoot and I’m Rex Manchild, bringing you the play-by-play on all the action as road correspondent for your next Favourite Blood Bowl team...

The Knoxville Turkeys!

The stars did align and the future was already written for Knoxville as they made the trip to the ‘Deep South’ to square off against the Swamp dwelling Cannibals of Cajun Critters. Knoxville went in as the underdogs but not by enough for league officials to line the coffers of their opposition. The Critters were a Saurus down for the match and even had two journeymen to weigh upon their training.

The Turkeys were also down a Goblin but still had a two man advantage, so if they could just get ahead in the violence or dirty play stakes, they’d have these “banjo playen’ inbred hillbillies” over the barrel. The Fans were finally out in vast numbers to see if the lightweight could wrestle down a man eating croc and the Turkeys had an advantage in the stands for the first time! Some claim that the Troll Loony Bin Jim and his new “shoulder blade” (which protrudes off his back and stands well over his head) was the draw card, certain that he’d gouge out a new handbag.

It was the blitzer Stan Shenanigans who kicked things off however, and he pimp-slapped one of the journeymen straight into the injury bin right off the starting whistle. When it came time for LBJ to start the slaughter, he just stood there... Chatting? The play moved around the scrum and when Great Gumbo had his chance to strike first he just stood there as well... Chatting. The two great lummox were locked in debate over lord knows what. The two coaches were screaming at the pair but the graduate thesis they were discussing was far too interesting and each mighty player must have spent half the game deliberating.

In the meantime Jupiter Spitvalve and Ecrevissehad things off to a grand start and each team had a round of injury time to finish off the half. The Turkeys were a little less confident that the Critters in the scrap so they decided to attempt a Fast Ball Special rather than leverage the Troll’s claws for more carnage. As mentioned, the fates had decided that the Turkeys would win long before the coin toss, so the Critters kicked the ball out of bounds in a hugely wayward kick and Mogg, Son of Gomm was given the ball and was flying down pitch in short order for the Turkey’s first One Turn TD!

They Critters injury time was uneventful and their offence was back in action for the 2nd half, behind 1-2. They faked the Turkeys with a switch back, going from left to right. But LBJ simply threw team missile ‘The Skudd’ over that way to compensate. The other goblins set to work organising a blitz on the runaway skinks and Team Captain ‘Dirty’ Lloyd Craven got in there to pop the ball free. The Skudd was off and unreachable. Knoxville was now up 3-1 and all looked set for an easy win.

The Critters knocked in another point with a fine cage tactic, and the Turks set back up with a few moments to wind down the game before celebrating. They set up their remaining players for a strong left side attack when the Critters called an audible and quickly reorganised before the kick. Then the ball sailed to the right and landed right on the sideline! Slick Armstrong was there to pick up, his handy extra hand at the ready but the ball was greasy with pig-fat and he dropped it. Knoxville was totally out of position and after Slick was blitzed off the field, the Turkeys saw the win just about to be snatched from under them. Desperate times called for desperate measures! With no Skaven players that could reach the skinks bearing down on the end zone, Coach Bouf sent in the Goblins and they swarmed the Critters offence. A blitz by relatibve newcomer Mr. Happy Heart landed with devastating efficiency and, with so many Goblins swarming the ball, the Critters desperately tried to regain it...

But the coverage was just too great!

Much like my coverage! Thanks for listening and please “Keep Your Neck Off the Block”. I’m Rex Manchild

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MyKi#1
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Re: Chopping Block - Uderworld blog - Game 5

Post by MyKi#1 »

When is the RotGut and has your team made it in? looking forward to reading about the exploits in the dungeon.

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Re: Chopping Block - Uderworld blog - Game 5

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MyKi#1 wrote:When is the RotGut and has your team made it in? looking forward to reading about the exploits in the dungeon.
Yesterday... It Didn't end well

Still writting it up! 25 turns of mayhem and carnage!

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MyKi#1
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Re: Chopping Block - Uderworld blog - Game 5

Post by MyKi#1 »

[quote="bouf] Yesterday... It Didn't end well
Still writting it up! 25 turns of mayhem and carnage![/quote]

Damn, next time Bouf next time.
As for 25 turns of mayhem and carnage that sounds like alot of fun.

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Re: Chopping Block - Uderworld blog - Game 5

Post by Piousman »

very well done! cannot wait for the next installment.

If you would like to add some of "coach's" comments at the end, to give it your perspective would be freat too!

- Piousman

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