Ungrateful Dead - Blog Bowl Radio

[The Painted Goblin]

4th March – Blogbowl Radio – Highlights

“Good evening BB Fans, and welcome to the Jimmy’s Rib Stadium for tonight’s game! You join us in our bid to answer the question on everyone’s lips:- “Are the Necromantic Team crap or not?” Over the next few weeks we will follow one team – Ungrateful Dead – during their journey through a new league and give our views on this contentious subject. Your match commentators for tonight are Lucan Haynes and myself, Seb Flakey. Evening Lucan.”

Lucan: Hey there, Seb.

Seb: Luc....you played for the Human team “We Are Just Men” for many many years, and managed to forge a lengthy and productive career as a Blitzer, so it’s safe to say that you know something of the game. What do you make of the Necromantic line-up, and what does the coach need to do to help them gain a win tonight?

Lucan: Well Seb, I notice that the coach has opted to leave out any ghouls in his starting team, which may well prove to be a mistake. His only real pace players are the two werewolves, Jenk Swiftmoon and Lou Feral, which makes them a juicy target for their opponents. Mark them out of the game and it will be tough for the Ungratefuls to advance. Worse still, if those two key players are injured or even knocked out, it will make it nigh on impossible to move the ball.

Seb: So you think that pace is the main strength of the Necromantic team?

Lucan: Yes and no – they have some of the fastest players in the game, but also some of the slowest in the zombies. The key is for individual players to focus on what they do well, and work together as a team. For example, the upside of choosing to ignore the ghouls means the coach was able to hire two huge flesh walls in the form of the Golems. The Weres can simply hide behind them until it’s time to break out.

Seb: Ok, thanks Luc.... On that note let’s go through the full line-up for tonight’s match....
#1 Lou Feral (Werewolf)
#2 Jenk Swiftmoon (Werewolf)
#3 Silent Bob (Flesh Golem)
#4 Long Stitch (Flesh Golem)
#5 Morteus (Wight)
#6 The Watcher (Wight)
#9 Fleshwound (Zombie)
#10 Skingraft (Zombie)
#11 Brainsoup (Zombie)
#12 Clubfoot (Zombie)
#13 Fester (Zombie)
I spoke to the team coach before the game, who told me that the costs in putting this line-up together were so high, that they didn’t have the resources left for lots of pre-match training:- only enough to change the game maybe, say twice per half.

Lucan: Twice per half can sometimes be enough, though Seb. The key players on this team are definitely the two werewolves – they really need protection from the Flesh Golems, and probably the Wights as well.

Seb: Let’s take a look at the opposition.....The Mighty Titans visit the Jimmy’s Rib Stadium tonight, a team of Norse also taking part in their first match of the season. Although they don’t have great speed or agility, their excellent blocking skills should prove a real test for the Ungratefuls.

Lucan: That’s right, Seb. The Necros best chance is to try and break the light armour of the Norsemen and incapacitate as many of their players as possible early in the game. In particular, Long Stitch and Silent Bob should take every opportunity to bash some skulls...

Seb: ....You’re starting to salivate a little there, Lucan. OK, it looks like theplayers are about to take to the field. the Titans have won the toss and will kick to the Necros.

Lucan: Nice big crowd for the opening game, Seb.

Seb: That’s right – in fact, I’m being told the total gate is 21,000, and the Titans fans’ outnumber the Ungratefuls by more than two-to-one. That could have an impact on the game.

Lucan: I guess not many people want to cheer at a zombie move slowly across the field, eh?

Seb: And we’re off. The ball lands deep in the backfield and is covered by Jenk Swiftmoon. Morteus follows and picks up the ball. There’s a lot of pushing going on at the Line of Scrimmage, but I don’t see any Norsemen down as yet.

Lucan: OOOOF! That had to hurt!

Seb: It’s.....”Crazy Beard” Hirsch – he’s down. The Norse lineman took a VISCIOUS blow to the leg, and I don’t think he’s getting up again! Silent Bob blitzed an opening in the defensive line and took him out, which is what you said needed to happen. And that’s the end of his game!

Lucan: That’s a smashed ankle, Seb – it’s probably the end of his career! He’ll lose some mobility – that’s for sure.

Seb: Morteus has swept up behind the line, and is being well protected by the Zombies. The Norse are fighting back – they’re throwing blocks all over the place. One, two, three zombies down...and now putting pressure on the ball-carrier.

Lucan: Yeah, good defending. Oh...he’s down – Morteus tried to leave his marker and was brought down. The ball is free.
Seb: It’s well covered though and difficult for the Titans to steal.....(fade out)

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Seb: Welcome back! You join us at the beginning of the second half. The first half was inconclusive, with both teams showing first-game-nerves. Despite the ball changing possession a few times, neither team really protected the ball-carrier enough. Hopefully they’ll get the idea this half.

Lucan: It was a bit disappointing, but you have to make allowances – both teams are new to the game.

Seb: The ball is kicked and lands outside the field of play. Touchback! It’s given to Troy Hateman, the Norse Thrower and play resumes! Block! Block! Block! They’re putting the hurt to the Ungratefuls.

Lucan: Lots of risky one-on-one blocks going in there. I’m surprised they haven’t...ahhh, he’s down!

Seb: Yep, the Norsemen placing too much faith in their blocking and not ganging up. The Necros have the advantage and swarm the ball-carrier. He’s blitzing! Lou Feral sacks Troy Hateman! Pow!

Lucan: Now they need to protect it – here comes Jenk Swiftmoon, grabs the ball – he runs and...he’s clear!

Seb: Jenk Swiftmoon, Rookie Werewolf.... going to open the score......TOUCHDOWN! 1-0 to Ungrateful Dead!

Lucan: That was a great move – this is what I was talking about earlier. He used his pace to flank the defensive line and one dodge later he’s in the clear.

Seb: It’s going to be tough for the Titans to come back this late in the game. They kick off and blocks are being thrown in the centre of play. OOOCH! I think we have a fatality. His head should NOT be facing in that direction! Willie Maimer, Norse Lineman has been dispatched by Long Stitch. That’s both Flesh Golems with a casualty each!

Lucan: Yeah, and with the player that was badly hurt by Brainsoup the Zombie late in the first half, thats 3:0 on casualties to the Necros! Ohhhh, thats Castagol, the Necromancer coach – he’s...he’s what? He’s incanting! The dead lineman is getting back up and shambling over to the Necros dug-out! That can’t be doing the Norsmen’s morale any favours!

Seb: What are they doing? The Ungratefuls have left a huge hole in their defensive line – he passes – it’s caught! Dennis Burncamp has caught it and is clear. They’re going to equalise in the dying seconds! TOUCHDOWN!

Lucan: That was disastrous defending - I can predict strong words in the dressing tomb later!

Seb: It’s all over – final whistle!

Lucan: Great game - makes me wish I was still playing.

Seb: So, what do you make of it all, Luc – what went right and what went wrong?

Lucan: I think the Necros were far too cautious in their play and not enough players got involved, or concentrated on what they are good at. I have to give the MVP to Silent Bob for that awesome block in the first half, taking out a lineman early on. His experience will make him a much better blocker after this game. More of the key players need to get involved and earn some experience if they want to push on in this league.

Seb: Ok thanks, Luc. That’s all for tonight folks. Join us again next time for more of the same....

[GuppyShark]

Great work, enjoyed reading it immensely.

[The Painted Goblin]

Thanks GuppyShark - more to follow when I get time!

[JaM]

Yes, keep it up !

[The Painted Goblin]

March 11 – Blog Bowl Radio – Highlights

“Welcome one and all to this second in a series of programmes about the Necromantic Blood Bowl Team -Ungrateful Dead. You join us at the Jimmy’s Rib Stadium where our anti-heroes take on the might of Chaos in the shape of The Peacekeepers. I’m Seb Flakey and I’ll be your commentator for tonight. Sitting next to me is Lucan Haynes (ex-blitzer for We Are Just Men, winner of biggest ego in Blood Bowl 3 years running, and part-time undertaker) to lend his expert knowledge, tactical advice and fashion tips.”

Lucan: Hi Seb. Good to be here again.

Seb: Its perfect Blood Bowl weather tonight, Lucan – should be a good one?

Lucan: Yeah, I’m expecting the Necros to build on their draw from last week. The coach tells me the Flesh Golem, Silent Bob has been practising hard all week (in between having his stitches repaired) and has managed to perfect his blocking game.

Seb: Well he’s going to need it Lucan. The Peacekeepers already have a couple of games under their belt this season, and Sir Ko’ran, their star blocking Chaos Warrior has already scored a casualty or two. In terms of sheer brute strength, the Ungratefuls are outmatched tonight.

Lucan: They are, but they have pace on their side. I’m expecting to see Jenk Swiftmoon and Lou Feral streaming up the wings as often as possible. They can’t stand toe-to-toe with the Chaos warrior line – they need to outrun it!

Seb: Ok, thanks Luc. The line-up is unchanged from last week. The Necro coach, Castagol is looking to force experience onto his rookie team. I’m told he didn’t make any purchases, although he's permanently signed up the resurrected Norse lineman from last week into his roster, and calls him Exnorse.

Lucan: Is that legal?

Seb: Hell - who’s going to argue with a man who can kill you then make your corpse play Blood Bowl for the rest of your un-life?

Lucan: Heh.

Seb: Looking around the ground, it looks like the Necros have failed to pull in the crowd again, and their fans are outnumbered. Does it mean anything Luc?

Lucan: It can do – in a close game your fans can sometimes “push” your team to achieve better things. Of course, if they don’t like what they see on the field, they have been known to invade the pitch – at those times it’s VITAL that you have more fans on your side!

Seb: Ok, the coin toss has just taken place – it goes to the Necros and they elect to kick. They’re lining up with a three man Zombie front. Castagol has made it known that his Zombie line has been nick-named “The Flesh Wall” by rest of the team.

Lucan: What’s the point? I mean....they’re zombies! Dressing room camaraderie? It makes me shudder to think about it.

Seb: Err.....yeah.....anyway – they kick off! It’s a GREAT kick – it lands deep deep inside the Peacekeepers half – in fact, it’s bang right next to their endzone! The Chaos team send beastmen back to cover the ball, and the Chaos Warriors throw block after block on the line of scrimmage.

Lucan: Yeah, the Flesh Wall aren’t so much a wall now as a heap...can’t expect zombies to stand up to that kind of beating.

Seb: They are though, Luc – they’re just getting straight back up again. Ok, there goes a beastman to pick up the ball – not sure what he’s called, they all look the same to me....Oops!

Lucan: He’s dropped it! No pressure on him at all and he’s dropped it. My granny could have done better!

Seb: No he’s got it now – he’s running with the ball. The Chaos Warriors doing a great job of keeping the zombies flat, but not really moving forward.... it’s Fist!

Lucan: Pardon?

Seb: The producers telling me the Beastman’s called Fist! Looks like he’s winding up for a throw here.....it’s good! Perfect spiral and the ball is caught! It’s caught by another Beastman...oh nuts – no idea what its name is! Where’s the defence?

Lucan: Here it comes, Seb - Jenk Swiftmoom has just lost his marker and is chasing the ball-carrier down....Look at him go! He closed that distance in three strides I swear! BAM! He hits him!

Seb: No, the beastmans pushed back but is still on his feet and looks like he could score! Oops, no – he couldn’t quite break away from the Werewolf and he’s brought down right next to the endzone!

Lucan: They’re not really known for their great agility, to be honest.....Jenk’s picked up the ball and he’s running back upfield, it’s handed off to the Wight, Morteus – obviously electing for safety by giving the ball to the better blocker!

Seb: A risk worth taking then, to hand off the ball so close to the action?

Lucan: Hey, just walking onto the Blood Bowl pitch is risky – if you’re not up for it, you shouldn’t wear the shoulder pads baby!

Seb: Right....thanks....for that, Luc. The Ungratefuls surrounding Morteus with what can only be described as a cage of zombies and are crawling downfield. The Peacekeepers just can’t get at the ball-carrier.

Lucan: Yeah, good play – You see there one of the Flesh Golems (I think it’s Silent Bob) – he’s just blitzed through the defence and created a hole – Morteus is running through and....they’re not going to catch him now.

Seb: TOUCHDOWN!! First blood to the Necros!

Lucan: Great stuff, Seb, but it’s not all celebration...look. It’s Jenk Swiftmoon – he’s out for the count! I didn’t see what happened but he ain’t waking up.

Seb: Uh ho...still – it’s almost half time so there’s a chance he’ll come round before they restart. And.....yeah – there’s the half time whistle. It stands at 1-0 to the Ungrateful Dead – we’ll be back after these words from our sponsors.......

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Seb: Welcome back, folks – they’re about to restart and if I can see....no, there’s no Jenk Swiftmoon – the werewolf must still be seeing stars! Must have been one hell of a hit he took.

Lucan: Those Peacekeepers are a big bunch of guys, Seb!

Seb: Yeah....the ball is kicked, The Watcher peels back to retrieve it – I think that’s the first I’ve seen of The Watcher this game – the Wight has been very quiet so far. Ahhh...and that’s why – he’s fumbled the ball!

Lucan: Pick it up! Pick it up!

Seb: Thanks for your incisive tactical input there, Luc – he’s got it now, Silent Bob and Long Stitch really showing the Chaos Warriors that they ain’t the strongest kids on the block....OOOOF! That’s Lou Feral, the remaining Werewolf down on the floor!

Lucan: That’s bad......he’s still breathing, but looks like he’s going to join Jenk in the infirmary!

Seb: Ouch – both your key players knocked out – no amount of regenerating tissue can stop that! Already you can see the consternation in the ranks of the Necros – all their speed and flair has gone!

Lucan: Well, it’s time for the two Wights, Morteus and The Watcher to step up and make a name for themselves...WOAH! That’s the new zombie, Exnorse! That was a MASSIVE hit on that ermm...beastman. I guess you could say “Once a Norse, always a Norse!”. Great!

Seb: Yeah – that ends that beastmans game early! Don’t think it’s serious, but he won’t be taking any further part in this match. Ohhh that’s some great play from Clubfoot, the Zombie – he’s marked up TWO Chaos Warriors single handedly and is showing the flesh golems how it should be done! The Chaos Warriors are trying to push him out the way but.....WOW! One of them is down - Sir Dread is down! I’ve never seen anything like it! Two players can’t bring down one guy who is probably on a mere fraction of their wage!
Lucan: Look.....here comes a blitz from the Peacekeepers! They hit The Watcher! BAM!

Seb: He didnt’ even put up a fight there! The Watcher was blitzed by a lone beastman and he’s down....the ball is loose and it’s a turnover!

Lucan: Anonymous Beastman #3 has picked it up and he’s off – the Wights are chasing him but I can’t see them catching up to him now...... no – Morteus has tripped up in the attempt! The beastman is clear and...

Seb: TOUCHDOWN!! That puts the score at 1-1 and we’re about three quarters way through the second half. What are the options for Ungrateful Dead now, Luc?

Lucan: Hmm...go back to the drawing board? Maybe not hinge all your game plan in two players?

Seb: Helpful as ever – there’s still no sign of either of the werewolves returning to the field, so it’s left to the two Wights to try and steal the game. That’s a tough call this late in the proceedings.

Lucan: They’re just going through the motions, Seb: The remaining Ungratefuls just don’t have the pace to do it:- We know it, they know it and look....the crowd know it too – their fans are slowly making their way out the ground!

Seb: And there’s the whistle folks! Final score 1-1, another draw for the Necro team.



Lucan: Another close game, but it was great to watch! Hero of the match for me was Exnorse – he’s only been in the team a week and I’ve got him down as one to watch for the future! That block was stuff of legend – I can only put it down to his Norse background!

Seb: Indeed, I can see him working on that blocking skill and becoming a star for this team. If he can cause casualties like that on a regular basis, it may also help bring a few more fans in!

Lucan: Oh yeah....the crowd always love a killer!

Seb: Ok, that’s all we have time for tonight, folks – we hope you enjoyed the match and can join us next time, where Lucan Haynes will be with me as usual, and we’ll update you with all the latest team news for the Ungrateful Dead. I’ve been Seb Flakey, you’ve been listening to Blog Bowl Radio. Until next time – goodnight!

[The Painted Goblin]

March 18 – Blog Bowl Radio – Highlights

“Welcome fellow Necromaniacs! I’m Seb Flakey and I’ll be your host, friend, partner and all-round nice-guy for tonights report! With me as always is our expert summariser, Lucan “Obvious” Haynes – ex-blitzer, ex-womaniser, ex-wages whore and soon to be ex-cited! Evening Luc”

Lucan: Thanks for that horrible play on words, Seb.

Seb: Always a pleasure, my friend – so, what’s been happening in the world of the Ungrateful Dead?

Lucan: Well, Seb...after last week’s game where the Ungratefuls lost both their werewolves either side of half-time, Castagol has drafted in some extra speed into his team in the shape of Halen Pace, a rookie Ghoul.

Seb: And that’s the first Ghoul on the roster for the Necros, isn’t it Luc?

Lucan: Yep – they’re a bit more fragile than the other players available to the team, so I guess the coach was worried about losses in the early stages of the season.

Seb: Ok, so what do we know about Ghouls? They’re pretty damn quick for starters – not quite as fast as a Werewolf, but faster than the average bear!

Lucan: They’re also not so tough – they have next to no armour, and they don’t benefit from regenerating tissue – and since no self-respecting apothecary will work for any undead team, it means their life expectancy can be short. Halen Pace will need protection if he’s to make any impact on the team.

Seb: Ok, in other team news, Exnorse the Zombie is emerging as a bit of a star when it comes to blocking – you may remember his vicious hit in last week’s game that put a beastman out of commission – that skill should really help the Ungratefuls in tonight’s match.

Lucan: Blocking skills are always highly sought after, especially in such an expendable player!

Seb: Thank you Lucan. The opposition tonight comes from King Tut’s Wah Wah Hutt – a fresh team of Khemri, looking for their first action of the season.

Lucan: You could hardly call them fresh...

Seb: Errr....well – true. Heading their line-up are four Tomb Guardians, putting a massive wall of brute strength up against the relatively weaker Necros. How can they combat this, Luc?

Lucan: Stay out of their way! Those players with pace need to use it and keep out of reach of those bruisers. The ones who don’t have pace need to stand up to them, and prevent them from hurting the key players.

Seb: You mean....take one for the team?

Lucan: Something like that.

Seb: Ok, so other than the addition of Halen Pace, the Ungrateful Dead name the same team as last week. As already mentioned, the Khemri start with the four Guardians. Rounding off their line-up are a Blitz-ra, a Throw-Ra and five Skeletons and I also see on their team-sheet they’ve named Hack Enslash in their side.

Lucan: Nice! I haven’t seen him play for a good while. Let’s hope he’s brought his good-luck charm with him.

Seb: You’re referring to his chain-saw, Sharon, of course?

Lucan: Of course.

Seb: Ok....the Khemri have won the toss and will receive the kick, so we take to the field....

Lucan: There it is! He’s bringing on the chainsaw - I can’t believe the officials haven’t seen it, he’s not even TRYING to hide it from them! It screams “pay-off” to me.

Seb: I can imagine that will cause a bit of fear in the Necro’s ranks – if the undead CAN feel fear, that is!

Lucan: There goes the kick....and....why DO that? Castagol will be having words about THAT, I can tell you. Khemri are notoriously bad at handling the ball, so why would you kick-off so that it lands out of bounds? That’s like giving away free yardage to the opposition!

Seb: Sure enough, it’s a touchback and the ball is handed to the Throw-Ra, who’s name is......oh - He has no name! Hmm...Throw-Ra it is,then. They’re forming a defensive cage around Throw-Ra, with Tomb Guardians in front. Zombies are dropping like flies here, but they keep getting up for more!

Lucan: You can now see how slow the Khemri move, Seb – the Ungratefuls need to pen them in and be ready for the counter-attack...

Seb: OUCH! That’s Clubfoot who’s down – the zombie took a huge blow from Rameses the Tomb Guardian and he looks REALLY badly hurt...

Lucan: No, I think he’s OK - they’ve dragged him into the dug-out and they’re trying to push him back on the pitch! His arm is hanging off but they’re trying to make him play! The referee won’t let him on the pitch until they “fix” that loose arm – it’s a health-and-safety hazard!

Seb: Quite. The Khemri are slowly working their way downfield with the ball. The Ungratefuls are putting quite a good screen up and are slowing them down even more. Oh.....Hack Enslash rakes his chainsaw down the front of Long Stitch!

Lucan: That’s one tough Flesh Golem, Seb – he didn’t even flinch! In fact he’s ignored the pain and landed a huge punch on Hack Enslash who hits the turf! Class!

Seb: They’re blitzing! The Watcher forces an opening and hits Throw-Ra and.....THE BALL IS LOOSE!!

Lucan: Fantastic play! Now they need to grab it and outpace the Khemri.

Seb: There goes Lou Feral, he’s picked it up and sprints downfield! Not a great deal that Wah Wah Hutt can do about it.

Lucan: No....they’re ignoring the ball and just DESTROYING the other players instead!! That’s another zombie down and out! The Khemri are winning 2-0 in casualties already!

Seb: It’s Fester – he’s also been dragged off the pitch but.....looks like he’s managed to pull himself together – quite literally! The Khemri are pounding the Ungratefuls – they know they can’t catch Lou Feral, so they’re just piling into the others!

Lucan: It’s mayhem out there! We love it!

Seb: Uh ho, Hack Enslash has just tried to chainsaw Long Stitch again – it’s just bounced off his thick skin and kicked-back!!

Lucan: He’s lucky to escape injury himself, there.....

Seb: Lou Feral....going to score.......TOUCHDOWN!!! 1-0 to the Necromantic team! And thats his first touchdown of the season.

Lucan: They’re lining back up for the kick off and.....what’s this? The officials won’t let Hack Enslash back onto the pitch! Guess the pay-off wasn’t that great, eh?

Seb: No, they’ve ordered him back into the changing rooms – his game is over. He didn’t really have any impact at all on the match. That won’t please the Khemri coach - I bet he wasn’t cheap!

Lucan: Still no sign of Halen Pace – looks like he’s warming the bench until the Ungratefuls receive.

Seb: That’s right – he’s not even set foot on the turf, yet! OK, they kick off and....hah! They’ve done it again! It’s another touch-back!!

Lucan: I can see Castagol making them practice at kicking off all next week, at this rate.

Seb: Oh no....they’re hitting the suicide button again! Look at that massive hole in the defensive line!

Lucan: Well, it wasn’t there until that Tomb Guardian made it, to be honest Seb...

Seb: Ahhh yeah....it was Menhotep putting yet another zombie out of action! But wait....no, looks like the zombie can still play – just needs to replace that shoulder blade! Zombies really do have staying power!

Lucan: Absolutely, I notice the other two that looked out of it are both back on the pitch, and don’t seem any worse for being maimed!

Seb: Gotta love those zombies!

Lucan: Speak for yourself...

Seb: Anyway – back to the action. Brainsoup has been dragged off the field, and it’s left a gaping hole for the Khemri to charge through – and *ahem* shamble through they do! Another poor show of defence from the Ungratefuls....

Lucan: It’s going to be a score.....TOUCHDOWN!

Seb: TOUCHD.....hey – I say that – it’s in my contract......! There’s the whistle. Half time and all square at the Jimmy’s Rib Stadium.

Lucan: Not good from the Necros – it was all in their control. They forced the turnover and scored early, and all they needed to do was ride out the half before receiving the ball again!

Seb: Well, let’s see what they can do to salvage the game after these words from our sponsors.....

--

Seb: Welcome back folks! They’re about to restart with the Khemri kicking to the Ungratefuls. Halen Pace is on the field of play, looking for his first taste of action and.....the ball is kicked. It’s high! It’s a high kick and Halen Pace catches it first time. Already showing a bit of flair there.

Lucan: Well, it WAS an easy catch.....

Seb: And they’re trying to go for the quick score.....Jenk Swiftmoon RIPS through that Tomb Guardian! I wouldn’t like to be on the receiving end of that!

Lucan: Nasty – but...nah, he’s okay! Proving that Necros aren’t the only team who can take a seemingly fatal hit and come back! They’ve dragged it into the dug-out and it’s slowly getting back up...

Seb: POW!! Jenk is down!! He’s hurt!...I heard that crack from up here! He’s dragging himself into the dug-out...

Lucan: I wonder if he’ll be able to get back on, Seb – I’m impressed by how this team takes a savage beating and just keeps coming back!

Seb: Never mind that, Throw-Ra has managed to pick up the ball! Looked like he dropped it at first, but he’s come away with it tucked under his arm!

Lucan: Ho! He’s down again – it’s a massive pile of bodies, flesh and bones in the middle of the field – tough to tell what’s happening!

Seb: I think the ball has changed hands at least four times in this drive....neither team can make a clean break of it....

Lucan: Watch Long Stitch, over there! He’s cornered a Tomb Guardian at the sideline! The Guardian is trying to push him back, but he ain’t moving! Long Stitch has just cracked him across the jaw and pushed him into the crowd!

Seb: Woah!! The crowd have SWARMED on top of the tomb guardian – I can’t see him getting up from that! It’s....tough to tell what’s happening there, we’ll update you as soon as we know.

Lucan: Throw-Ra is clear.....and that’s a Skeleton breaking for the end-zone!

Seb: What? They’re going to pass? At that distance?!

Lucan: This should be funny – in ALL my years, I’ve never seen a Khemri complete a pass any further than arms length.....

Seb: The final whistle is going to go at any moment though – I guess there’s nothing to lose......he’s winding his arm back. FUMBLE!!

Lucan: That wasn’t really a surprise.

Seb: Jenk Swiftmoon grabs the ball and tries to throw a quick pass in the closing moments......

Lucan: D’oh! Morteus has dropped it!

Seb: And that’s it – it’s all over. Final score is 1-1. Another draw for the Ungratefuls. Not much in the way of scoring, but plenty of action! What are your closing thoughts, Luc?

Lucan: It was fantastic from our perspective! I have to award the MVP to Long Stitch, though. He stood up to several chainsaw attacks from Hack Enslash in the first half, and out-muscled one of the Tomb Guardians in the second – pushing him into the crowd and ending his game early! If he works all week on those blocking skills, it will really bode well for the Ungratefuls in the remainder of this season! So far, the two Flesh Golems, and Exnorse the Zombie have all been outstanding and already look like experienced players in this young team.

Seb: Thanks Lucan. Ok.....that about wraps it up for tonight – three games, three draws. Its looking distinctly average for the Ungrateful Dead so far. Halen Pace didn’t really earn his wage tonight – maybe next game. Join us again to find out! I’m Seb Flakey, and you’ve been listening to Blog Bowl Radio…..

[Rodge]

Loving it - looking forward to the next exciting installment!

[GuppyShark]

Kick it in the middle!

[The Painted Goblin]

Kick it in the middle!

I did - both times! Both times it scattered 6 places, then bounced in the same direction! My middle name is lucky

(note to self: get the kick skill on a Zombie ASAP....)

[The Painted Goblin]

April 15 – Blog Bowl Radio – Highlights

“Welcome to Blog Bowl Radio! I’m your host, Seb Flakey, and together with my faithful sidekick, Lucan Haynes, we’re going to bring you all the latest news and views on our favourite Necromantic team!”

Lucan: Hey....I’m not a side-kick – I have 53 career touchdowns to my name, and.....

Seb: Moving on.....it’s been a few weeks since the Ungrateful Dead played their last match and as far as we know there hasn’t been much off-the-pitch activity either, right Luc?

Lucan: ....19 casualties, and I only had to stop playing because......

Seb: Errr....okay.......Okay! We seem to have a problem in bringing that point of view to you....in the meantime, lets remind ourselves of the team line-up:-
#1 Lou Feral (Rookie Werewolf)
#2 Jenk Swiftmoon (Rookie Werewolf)
#3 Silent Bob (Experienced Flesh Golem)
#4 Long Stitch (Experienced Flesh Golem)
#5 Morteus (Rookie Wight)
#6 The Watcher (Rookie Wight)
#7 Halen Pace (Rookie Ghoul)
#9 Fleshwound (Rookie Zombie)
#10 Skingraft (Rookie Zombie)
#11 Brainsoup (Rookie Zombie)
#12 Clubfoot (Rookie Zombie)
#13 Fester (Rookie Zombie)
#14 Exnorse (Experienced Zombie)
So...who are the key players in your eyes, Luc?

Lucan: .....not your zugging sidekick!

Seb: Listen you jumped-up.... (muffled sounds as though the mic is covered)....stay focused!

Lucan: (sniffs)

Seb: So – who are the key players in your eyes, Luc?

Lucan: ........As always, the two werewolves need to use their pace, as well as the ghoul. On defence, The experience of Long Stitch, Silent Bob and Exnorse puts a frightening brick wall for their opponents. It’s vital that the two Wights stop hiding behind the rest of the team and start to actually DO something.

Seb: That’s right, they’ve hardly been impressive so far this season. What do you make of their opponents today?

Lucan: Well, they’re up against the Danger Mice, a rookie Skaven team. They’ll really give the Weres a run for their money in terms of pace. The Ungratefuls need to flatten and cripple the gutter runners to prevent them from tearing around the pitch at will.

Seb: Thanks Luc. I notice they’ve also drafted in a Rat Ogre to try and beef up an otherwise weedy line-up – aptly named Bonebreaker.

Lucan: That’s a tough one, they’re surprisingly fast for their size. OK...ignore what I said earlier about pace being important – I think this game will be won by damage – the Ungratefuls need to hit them hard. Again and again.

Seb: Ok....that’s the advice from our resident expert, Mr Lucan “flip-flop” Haynes – 18,000 screaming fans are waiting for the action to start – the Ungratefuls have actually pulled in a decent crowd this time!

Lucan: Told you those casualties would being ‘em flooding in!

Seb: The Skaven have won the toss and are going to kick to the Necros – annnnnnd........WE’RE OFF!!

Lucan: Quick snap there – the Ungratefuls really sharp tonight. BAM! POW! SLAP! Look at those rats fall! Great work – can’t see any blood yet though!

Seb: There goes Halen Pace....the Ghoul has scooped up the ball and is sprinting towards the safety of the two Golems.

Lucan: Yeah, I can’t see the rats breaking through that line....

Seb: WOAH!! Skingraft is in bits there! Bonebreaker just grabbed his arms and ripped them out the sockets!!

Lucan: He doesn’t seem too bothered though, Seb – can’t see him taking any further part in this match, though – not much you can do with no arms!

Seb: No....they’ve been collected by the officials and Skingraft is in the dug-out trying to work out how they go back on.

Lucan: Meantime, look at Halen Pace go!

Seb: Yeah...he’s screaming down the sideline there!! Risky! And....he’s through! Yards away from scoring!

Lucan: No....no..no.no – look – those rats are damn quick, they’ve cut him off! Why doesn’t anyone LISTEN? You can’t outpace Skaven!

Seb: He’s surrounded, and his pace has taken him away from the safety of his team-mates! Ohhh nice move! He just dodged through them like they weren’t there!!!

Lucan: Excellent stuff!

Seb: TOUCHDOWN!! Halen Pace for his first score of the season! He was cut off, but realising help wasn’t coming he just ducked, dived and weaved his way out of trouble and sprinted into the endzone! 1-0 to the Ungrateful Dead!

Lucan: Plenty of time on the clock still.

Seb: Ok...they’re lining up again –the Ungratefuls kick and....the ball bounces a little more than usual but lands in the centre of the Danger Mice’s half.

Lucan: Those gutter runners need to be stopped. One pass and it will be a VERY quick equaliser....

Seb: Blitz! It’s almost like they heard you there, Luc – Morteus goes to hit that runner....nope: he just dodged the hit. Made the Wight look a bit stupid there!

Lucan: You don’t want to anger a Wight....

Seb: Ok...the ball-carrier uses his speed, runs to the halfway line.....he’s going for the throw.....Perfect! It lands in the hands of the waiting gutter runner!

Lucan: Too good....too good

Seb: TOUCHDOWN!! A very quick response to going one behind! Can’t see there was much the Necros could have done about that, Luc?

Lucan: Of course they could – they were set up as if the Skaven were going to run it through the middle. They didn’t plan for the throwing game, and they’ve been made to pay. Should have had more depth in their defence.

Seb: And there’s the half-time whistle, folks. We’ll be right back after this......

--

Seb: You re-join us just as the players take to the field for the second half. It’s the Ungrateful Dead to kick. They start play and.....a VERY deep kick into the Danger Mice’s half

Lucan: BLITZ!! The Necros are blitzing, catching the Skaven off-guard and they’re pouring in, putting massive pressure on the ball.

Seb: Great stuff – they could steal it here: Morteus and Lou Feral are closing down the ball,that has now been picked up by a gutter runner...Lou hits a rat on his way through and ....Woah!! His claws went deep into places claws shouldn’t reach there!!

Lucan: That’s one rat that won’t be reproducing any offspring! The team apothecary is seeing what he can do, but....well, in those situations, all you can do is count them, pat him on the back reassuringly and send him back out to play.

Lucan: Wow! Long Stitch is down! Knocked over by a rat half his size! What went wrong there??

Seb: No idea....nevertheless he’s on the floor and that’s left a gap in the defence....the gutter runner sprints through the gap and he’s winding back to throw!

Lucan: Yeah, another gutter has made his way into the Ungratefuls half.....it’s caught! No-one is even CLOSE to being able to stop him.

Seb: No – look......here comes Morteus, he’s the only player able to catch him but he’s REALLY well marked....he dodges – once! Twice! He’s clear!!

Lucan: Fantastic!! Oh, for cr......he’s tripped up just as he got in range of tackling the runner!!

Seb: TOUCHDOWN!! Another quick score, and it’s 2-1 to the Danger Mice! The Skaven pretty much moved the ball entire length of the field in the blink of an eye!

Lucan: One of the Wights was flattened by Bonebreaker during that drive, Seb. Looked to be badly hurt, but again, that regenerative tissue showing it’s worth.

Seb: Yes, it’s The Watcher...I can see him taking his place on the field, so he’s okay to continue. The Rat Ogre really hurting the Necros, though.

Lucan: The ball is kicked off again, and Halen Pace scoops it up and charges towards the halfway line. He’s quickly surrounded by his team-mates – excellent protection there!

Seb: Yeah, Long Stitch and Silent Bob smashing a way clear through the defensive line....

Lucan: There goes ANOTHER zombie, felled by Bonebreaker!! The crowd are really warming to this guy!

Seb: Yeah – it’s Exnorse – that might hurt the Necros advance a bit – they've been counting on his blocking experience, but it looks like he’ll take no further part tonight!

Lucan: It’s not stopping them, though. They’ve learned from last time and are keeping the ghoul well protected all the way downfield...KER-POWW!!! The Watcher has just crunched a rat – and ...it’s dead!! A fatality for The Watcher! Guess he’s getting his own back for taking a beating earlier....

Seb: Wait – here comes a blitz from the Skaven!! They’ve taken out one of the Golems, and are piling pressure on Halen Pace!! He’s in scoring range but rats are BREATHING all over him!!

Lucan: Can he dodge.....YES!! He’s clear!! What a great move! Running for the end zoooooooonnnnnee.......

Seb: TOUCHDOWN!!!! His second touchdown of the night!! A star is born! It’s all square at 2-2 and....what's happening here?

Lucan: Oh......

Seb: Both sets of fans have just waded into eachother in the stands - it's turning into a massive riot!!!

Lucan: Uh ho.....This could take some time to clear up.....

Seb: yeah.....we’ll leave you with these words from our sponsors until it’s all sorted out....

--

Seb: Well, what do the officials do here then, Luc? The fans have been cleared from the pitch, and most of the blood has soaked away.

Lucan: This late in the game, I would expect them to wind the clock back a bit.

Seb: Let’s hope so – I can’t believe we have another draw on our hands. And...yes, I’m hearing in my ear-piece exactly that! The clock has been moved back a few minutes and the Necros are to kick to the Skaven – chance for the rats to score another quick touchdown and steal it.

Lucan: At least it will be better than a draw....

Seb: Okay – here we go – the Skaven need to get players into the opposing half quickly! Ooops – not like that they’re not.

Lucan: Great tackling there, the gutter runner is down and I think that.....yeah that’s it. It’s done. Full time whistle is blown and it's yet another draw..

Seb: 2-2 this time, though – at least it’s a change from 1-1. Still, it’s all points, and I think that might put them up to 4th in the league!

Lucan: The crowd will be wanting to know where the first win is coming from though.

Seb: MVP award?

Lucan: I think I would have to award it to Brainsoup, the Zombie. He was one of the few players that marked the Rat Ogre and survived the rest of the match! He did a fantastic job of guarding his team-mates too. Not often you see that kind of skill from a zombie. I have to say that Halen Pace was close to winning it, with scoring two touchdowns, but he didn’t really do much else.

Seb: Not much else? Not much else than scoring two touchdowns??

Lucan: Bit boring though, don’t you think? He didn’t get involved in the blocking game! That’s what we want to see!

Seb: What about Jenk Swiftmoon? He was lethal in this game – I don’t think he caused any lasting damage, but he was repeatedly bowling over skaven players.

Lucan: Yeah, and you can see he’s developing a bit of a nasty skill with those claws – his blocking ability isn’t very well developed yet, it’s still a bit raw. But you can FEEL the power of the hits when he does them.

Seb: We’ll watch that closely and see how that skill develops – safe to say that he could be high up on the casualties chart! Halen Pace should have gained valuable experience today with those two scores – how do you think he will use that experience in future matches?

Lucan: Well, like I said – he needs to get involved in the mix. It’s all well and good to pansy around and dodge away from trouble, but he needs to learn how to bring someone down. If he’s scared to throw a block in case he gets hurt, than at least learn to wrestle them to the floor so someone else can jump in!

Seb: Great stuff – thanks Luc! Okay, that’s about all for tonight....we’re looking forward to the next game, as I’m sure you are too. I’m Seb Flakey – this has been Blog Bowl Radio – until next time, goodnight!

[KidStealth]

very nice... i always wonder... did you take notes about the whole game? and how long does a game take, if you do so? ^^

[The Painted Goblin]

Just the important stuff - who kicks off, which player tries to pick up the ball. Anything that gains SPP's, any casualties, KO's or BH's, and anything that causes a turnover.

Writing it down is all pretty quick because everyone in our league uses the OLBBM so I can refer to each player by just their number, and write it up with full player names later - all notes are written when it's not my turn so it hardly affects play at all

[JaM]

Cool stuff...

I have a feeling you could do the ads during halftime too.

Actually I'm picking up my Necro-team (TR 103) again, threads like these have that effect on me.
And totally 0wning my opponent with Dark Elves the last time helped, too. It wasnt fun for either of us, I mean EVERYTHING worked.
Necros will make sure I have a harder time...

Keep it up plz !

[The Painted Goblin]

13th May – Bloodbowl Radio – Highlights

“Hello Blood Bowl Fans everywhere! I’m Seb Flakey and once again I’ll talk, shout, enthuse and annoy my way through tonights game for your listening pleasure. By my side is Lucan Hayes – ex-blitzer for “We Are Just Men”, and holder of the record for all-time highest paid player during a single game, where the sponsors offered a cash bonus to every player each time they hit an opponent! Lucan saw the potential to earn his retirement fund in one day, and literally spent the whole match punching the same unconscious player over and over again!!

Lucan: I thought we agreed never to bring that up on radio?...

Seb: We’re here at Jimmy’s Rib Stadium where the Ungrateful Dead are to take on some posing gits in the form of the Pro-Elf team, Frostheim Maidens. I think I smell elven blood already!

Lucan: Indeed! Elves are known for their squishiness, and I’m sure the werewolves and flesh golems can’t wait to get stuck in!

Seb: There has been quite a bit of activity off-field since the Necros last game. Fester the zombie was sacked, and has been replaced by another ghoul in the form of Saint Elmo.

Lucan: What happens to a zombie when they’re sacked? Do they die again? What?

Seb: Don’t know and don’t care....the coach is obviously seeing a need for more speed on the team – what do you make of it Luc?

Lucan: Well, you said it yourself – speed is key in this team, and ghouls are naturally athletic and can dodge their way through several tackles if need be. They’re developing a nice spread of strength and speed, which will create problems for most of their opponents.

Seb: Also, Brainsoup showed signs of developing a tasty ability during the last game – one not often seen in a zombie – the ability to assist his team-mates in a block, even when under pressure!

Lucan: Yeah, it makes him a valuable asset on the line of scrimmage, but it also makes him a prime target – he needs to improve his blocking skills as soon as possible. You can’t really guard your team-mates when you’re face down in the dirt.

Seb: A good point, well made. Ok....it looks like the players are taking to the field, so let’s remind ourselves of the line-up:-

#1 Lou Feral (Rookie Werewolf)
#2 Jenk Swiftmoon (Experienced Werewolf)
#3 Silent Bob (Experienced Flesh Golem)
#4 Long Stitch (Experienced Flesh Golem)
#5 Morteus (Rookie Wight)
#6 The Watcher (Rookie Wight)
#7 Halen Pace (Experienced Ghoul)
#8 Saint Elmo (Rookie Ghoul)
#9 Fleshwound (Rookie Zombie)
#10 Skingraft (Rookie Zombie)
#11 Brainsoup (Experienced Zombie)
#12 Clubfoot (Rookie Zombie)
#14 Exnorse (Experienced Zombie)

Lucan: The heat is blistering out there....you can see some of the players are struggling

Seb: Absolutely - we’ll have to see how that affects the game as things progress. The elves have hired the services of Eldril Sidewinder for today’s game – do you think he’ll pose any problems, Luc?

Lucan: He’s a big-headed, flash git – the Necros just need to kill him. No problem

Seb: Errmm...ok, thanks for that. The Ungrateful Dead win the toss and elect to kick. It’s kicked deep and lands about two thirds the way into the backfield. The elves are very quick off the line, and the ball is picked up by their thrower, Alean Aslan. They try to knock over Long Stitch – he ain’t moving...

Lucan: Not much of a surprise there – he’s twice the size of any of them!

Seb: Now they’re dodging away from the line of scrimmage and trying to put a bit of distance between themselves and the Necros

Lucan: It’s a sensible ploy – no point hanging around waiting to be hit

Seb: Exnorse is at it again! He’s just hit the elven blitzer, Annin Raydan and looks like she’s seeing stars!!

Lucan: They’re dragging her into the infirmary and I can see them trying to bring her round...

Seb: The Watcher is pressuring the ball carrier – he’s worked his way around the line and has sprinted up behind the elven thrower....

Lucan: Watch Eldril...he’s lost his marker and is clear – he’s waving his arms like mad and screaming for the ball...

Seb: Aslan winds back for the long throwwww....ITS CAUGHT!! Love them or loathe them, you have to admire the sheer skill in their passing game. Eldril has the ball and looks sure to score early in the game.

Lucan: Here comes Lou Feral, he’s sprinted half the length of the pitch and lunges at Eldril.....pah!!

Seb: Eldril just dodges the blow and with a graceful turn runs towards the endzone.......SCORE!! 1-0 to the Maidens.

Lucan: Look at that...I mean just look at the state of it. He’s dancing about like a pansy down there, and taunting the Ungrateful’s fans. Big-headed wan....

Seb: (coughs loudly)....OKAY.....they line up to re-start. Uh ho...some of the players are refusing to go back out due to the heat! Silent Bob and Halen Pace both unable to lift themselves off the bench!

Lucan: And I can see that Eldril has passed out with heat exhaustion – serves him right for prancing about so much. Two other elves are also unable to take part!

Seb: So with both teams reduced in number, we kick off and.....well, would you believe it! The clouds are rolling in and it’s now starting to rain. Rain heavily in fact!

Lucan: Now how does that happen then? It’s got to be magical intervention to go from two extremes of weather so suddenly.

Seb: Maybe, maybe......the ball lands close to the sideline about halfway into the Ungratefuls half and the new ghoul, Saint Elmo runs over to retrieve it.

Lucan: He’s dropped it! The rain is making the ball even more difficult to handle and it’s spilled into the crowd. They’re throwing it back in......woah! It’s landed just behind the line of scrimmage!

Seb: The elves surge forward – one of their throwers heads for the ball. She manages to pick it up under massive pressure from Long Stitch and The Watcher! That looked to be impossible! How cool was that?

Lucan: Yeah, yeah – very impressive.

Seb: Ouch!! Long Stitch hits her and she drops to the floor! I think she stood around there too long – probably frozen in shock after her audacious attempt to steal the ball worked! The ball has dropped on the ground next to her, and The Watcher picks it up....

Lucan: The Necros surround The Watcher – great protection there. Looks like another elf is knocked out – she took a big hit from one of the Zombies and hasn’t got up.

Seb: Yeah, she’s still breathing...in fact, a lot of the elves are just....staying down! Looks like they’re pretending to be knocked out!

Lucan: What a bunch of pansy, spineless, no-good.....it’s BLOOD bowl!! Take the hits! This is what we pay you for!!! I don’t believe this...

Seb: Neither do the Ungratefuls.... they’ve got the ball next to the endzone but don’t know what to do. The elves aren’t even TRYING to tackle them.

Lucan: Woohooo!!! They’ve got the idea! A load of the Ungratefuls have surrounded that blitzer who’s pretending to be injured and are giving her a good kicking!!

Seb: You’re not wrong! I wouldn’t like to be in the middle of that lot.....they’re moving away.....ah – she’s not pretending anymore. In fact, the officials have just signalled to the bench – she’s dead!

Lucan: And look! The other elves have all sprung up to their feet! What a great play by the Ungratefuls! Definitely stopped the elves from pretending to be dead...

Seb: The Watcher walks the ball into the endzone and evens up the score at 1-1! And that’s half-time....

Lucan: That was a very strange end to the half. In all my years I’ve never seen a team play dead to avoid taking hits before!

Seb: Well it looks like the Necros knew exactly how to stop that kind of behaviour, Luc – Second half will be coming up shortly......join us after these words from our sponsors....

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Seb: Welcome back fellow Necro-maniacs, the players are on the pitch and the elves are about to kick off...It’s very deep, and ....ITS A BLITZ!! The elves are blitzing and swarm into the Necro’s half.

Lucan: They’re looking to grab the ball for a quick touchdown – but the Ungratefuls are up to it – Saint Elmo has the ball and is screened by his team-mates. Here comes the posing tos...erm..Eldril Sidewinder again – he’s been very active in this match.

Seb: Yeah, he’s a great player, but it can hinder the development of your salaried players when you rely too heavily on a star.

Lucan: That’s very very true Seb.

Seb: The Ungratefuls screen their way down the right of the field, Eldril tries to force his way in! He’s going to get to Elmo there – he needs protection and fast!

Lucan: Here it comes....Jenk Swiftmoon bowls into Eldril and WOAHHH!!! Did you see that?? I can confirm that elves do NOT have blue blood!

Seb: Uugggh I feel a bit queasy.....I hope Eldril’s apothecary is as skilled as is reported. That was NOT nice....well, I guess that means the elves will have to stop relying on his skill.

Lucan: Lou Feral is getting in on the action too – he’s just clobbered the remaining elven blitzer and ....OOOOF!!! What a hit!! Feral bounds away, leaving her body in a crumpled heap. I can see the officials running over to her.......and - she’s dead!! That’s both blitzers dead!

Seb: Saint Elmo runs downfield and .....what’s he doing? He’s holding out the ball to Morteus! He's going for the hand-off.....

Lucan: Looks like the coach has had a word and told the Wights to get more involved in the game....DOHHHH – it’s dropped!! Morteus has dropped it right next to the elves endzone and here they come!

Seb: The elves stream back, and the ball is picked up by their thrower – again under extreme pressure, she stepped into the shadow of the covering Ungratefuls and plucked the ball off the floor as if they weren't there - cool as you like!

Lucan: The Ungratefuls coach will be seething at that! It looked like a sure win for the Necro team and it's wasted! The elven thrower winds her arm back and....it's thrown....

Seb: INTERCEPTION!!! The Watcher just leaped up and picked the ball out of the air mid-flight!! And he’s gone!

Lucan: Incredible!! He’s going to score.....

Seb: TOUCHDOWN!! 2-1 to the Ungratefuls – a touchdown scored in the most bizarre fashion! And looking at the game clock, there’s not much time left to run....

Lucan: No, but elves are always able to score quickly. However, the knock-outs are staying knocked out – although secretly, I think they’re probably awake but refusing to take to the field in pure fear.

Seb: You can’t blame them, there’s only 5 elves left on the pitch...it just has to be damage limitation for them now.

Lucan: In contrast, the Ungratefuls haven’t lost a single player this game, but that’s mainly because the elves have tried to avoid contact wherever possible!

Seb: And that’s the final whistle folks – Finally! The Ungrateful Dead have won a game! And what a game it was. Two dead blitzers (although I’m being told one was resuscitated in the infirmary), one very VERY badly mauled star player – I think it’ll be a few months before Eldril plays again!, three touchdowns total, and an interception!

Lucan: Aye, and the Ungrateful Dead continue to grow and develop as a team. You can see in that last hit of the game that Lou Feral is honing his skill in the block, and that fantastic interception and touchdown from The Watcher was something else – the experience will definitely improve his game. Again though, I have to give the MVP award to one of the Flesh Golems.

Seb: Eh??? So...The Watcher intercepts a pass, then runs the ball in for a touchdown in the dying seconds and effectively wins the match, and you want to give the MVP to a Flesh Golem, neither of which really did anything during the game?

Lucan: Hey....don't discount the Flesh Golems! They're great! I love em! They're big and the top of their heads are flat!

Seb: Okay...so which one? Is it random? Do you actually know?

Lucan: (meeny, miney, mo.....) erm...what? Oh....Silent Bob – I give MVP to Silent Bob for being ....for being bloody good!

Seb: Well – there you have it folks. The first win of the season for the Ungrateful Dead, and if my calculations are correct, this puts them at the top of the league!

Lucan: Yeah, although they haven’t been winning, they haven’t been losing either, and those draws bring in a steady stream of points. In a league where points can be lost as well as won, that makes a huge difference!

Seb: So now that they’re at the top, they have to wait until someone challenges them to a match before playing again – it could be a while! Whenever it is, be assured that we’ll be here to give you the full match report! I’ve been Seb Flakey, him over there has been Lucan Hayes...

Lucan: Oi!....I’m no has-been!!

Seb: ....and you’ve all been wonderful – until next time, goodnight!

[Uldreg]

Awesome write up man. I was going to name a team this, but now that i know you clamied the name i will have to come up with something different. No way i could poach a team name with a history like that...

(Although i would have gone with Dead song names like Casey Jones, and Terrapin.)