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 Post subject: The Mootland Beasts
 Post Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 12:01 pm 
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Dear Diary

Today, some strange looking human with a big hair has been putting up signs all over our moot.
Apparently he wants to start a Blood Bowl team with halflings.

I wasn't born yesterday, I know what Blood Bowl is. I even met Puggy once! Very snorky guy....
I also know what kind of coaches want to coach a halfling team, everyone know we are not mean to play this extremely idiotic sport. Simply put, there has to be something wrong with you if you choose to coach halflings. I'll be at the tryout tomorrow to see what kind of idiots that show up. It should be a good laugh....

Cheers! Sam


Dear Diary

I yesterday was Tryout day and I made the team. Don't know how that happened...
One minute I was discreetly laughing at the dorks that wanted to sign up, and the other I was trying to get to the source of a deliciously smelling aroma...

Turns out the coach had brought a regular Gourmet Chef to the try out and after a few discreet but well aimed "motivation" kicks I managed to sign up before he closed the list. Sneaky coach....he even promised that we wouldn't play a single game without a chef. Let's see how it goes...

Probably, I will leave the team, contract or no contract. I'll do it right after the Chefs next meal....

Until then Diary.
Sam


Last edited by Afroman on Tue Apr 05, 2011 8:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Mootland Beasts
 Post Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 1:00 pm 
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Dear Diary

We had our first game today. Some undead team whos name it's too long to for me to even bother remember. The Chef was present as promised but there was some economic issue with the inducements so we ended up with Zara instead of DeepRoot.

What a game! We were totally synchronized! We all failed to get away from our opponents and most injuries were caused by thickfooted idiots in my own team. I guess you can call that teamwork. In my case I had planned to "fall" down and stay down, but a bloody Zombie felt compelled to trip me so that I actually ended up getting badly hurt. At least I was out of the game and could enjoy the after-match feast. Although I need to come up with a better way to get out of the field without getting injured...

Zara was virtually worthless, she allowed herself to get outfouled by a skeleton with the name of "Barbara". One of our trees got the MVP-award, I wonder why? We did lose 0-4 with 0-7 in casualties, but to be fair, we caused caused five of those casualties ourselves...

It's decided, after the feast I'm gone!

Cya Diary!
Sam


PS: I almost forgot, Lenny Lettuce died. A wight looked at him at the very start of the game and his heart stopped, at least that what the mortician says. Not to worry, his cousin Lenny Lettuce II has already been hired to take his place.


Last edited by Afroman on Fri Apr 08, 2011 2:22 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Mootland Beasts
 Post Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 7:27 pm 
Legend
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Huzzar!

Welcome to the wonderful world of Halfling League Blood Bowl!

Better luck next time Sam. Ask the coach about frequent flyer miles! :wink:

Remember.....

"In Dodge We Trust!"

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 Post subject: Re: The Mootland Beasts
 Post Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 8:55 pm 
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Dear Diary

Another game with idiots, but this time they are celebrating. We didn't won mind you. We just didn't lose. And they all think its because of them.....but you know what? I was the one who put that ball in the zone!
Let me tell you how I did it....
Remember that I needed to find a way to get of the field without a) getting injured and b) the coach noticing I was trying to get out of the field?
The answer is of course FOULING! I had everything planned, just make sure the ref is looking and then I would plant my boot in the face of an(lying) opponent. The more obvious the better. So I skulk around the trees because usually you find opponents littering the ground around them. And when one of those Chaos Warrior fall down i start screaming and waving my hands to get the refs attention, but before I'm able to fulfill my plan someone (I think It's Entre Coat who did it) has put the ball in my hands.
Of course the first thing I wanted to do was to get rid of it! Everyone knows that the life expectancy of a halfling ballholder can be measured in seconds! But suddenly I'm being grabbed(That tree should where he puts his hands/branches-things) and I'm flying over the whole chaos team.
Of course, once I landed was there only one way to go, AWAY FROM THE MAYHEM ATLETHICS(btw have you ever heard of a more silly name for a bunch of beastmen?) and into the endzone. AND THEN THEY GIVE THE MVP TO THE TREE!!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!!!! At least he could learn how to grab properly!

Diary, I need to tell you about the biggest idiots of all the idiots in the team: Peter Pork! I just can't stand the sight of him! and the way he talks! "Pork Hungry!", "Pork want food!", "Pork don't assistance!"
And no he is no freaking tree either! Just a regular halfling!!!! Well a regular halfling that managed to kill a Chaos Warrior and a Beastman during this game. That went straight to his head and now he goes around showing everyone who wants(or not) to see the official casualty toplist where he is currently in fourth place. I hate that guy!

Yeah by the way, DeepRoot was able to play for us this time but his contribution paled compared to the excellence of the chef! I simply cannot forget the incredible afterparty!

Enough for today Diary. Bye
Sam


PS: I'm going to play one more game, I still want to try the foul theory. But if it doesn't work, I'm out!


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 Post subject: Re: The Mootland Beasts
 Post Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:59 pm 
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* What team colours? *

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 Post subject: Re: The Mootland Beasts
 Post Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 12:42 pm 
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Very entertaining reading!

I'm in love with Entre Coat, what a name, hihi! Hope soon some fresh news of this guy...


:lol:


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 Post subject: Re: The Mootland Beasts
 Post Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 2:12 pm 
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Dear Diary]

Today we player against a group of circus freaks that calls themselves "Bad Taste".I heard that "circus freak" wasn't allowed as a race so they registered as a chaos pact team.

The coach was quite excited for this game and kept telling us that they were a bunch of uncoordinated, undisciplined and terrible players. He might as well have been talking about us. As always a chef was present but he might just as well have been a goblin in disguise. I get quenches just thinking about that so-called soup.
Apparently we couldn't afford Deeproot so coach hired Willow Rosebark. I'm sure he regrets it now.....
Willow spent more time on her back than standing, but from what I've heard about dryads, that's to be expected...
They managed to push a TD late on the first drive and although The trees had been pounding the opposition like there was no tomorrow. Just show the level of incompetence this team posses. Although I admit it's quite a sight to see OakyDokey grab an troll by the neck and move him where HE wants.

I did put my plan into action, fouled like there was no tommorrow but the ref took it's sweet time to notice me, I had to KO THREE players before he reacted. Someone should buy him new glasses. And I must say it wasn't a second to early since The opps had started to target me...
On the bright side, I seem to have gather a small fanclub, before I got ejected I could hear some in the audience scream "Dirty Sam!, Dirty Sam!".

The rest of the match I just laid back and watched the idiots in my so-called-team fail several attempts to equalize. The only think worth noticing was Entre Coats pass near the end of the second drive that met its target right on. That could have ended in a TD if only Willow hadn't gone all crazy and decided to snuggle up a marauder thus causing a TO. We lost 1-0 with no casualties anywhere.

But what do I care? I'm just here for the food.

CYA Diary!

PS: Peter Pork did NOTHING in this game and is furious about it! MWAHAHAHAHAH


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 Post subject: Re: The Mootland Beasts
 Post Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 6:57 pm 
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Excellent!

Afroman wrote:
The only think worth noticing was Entre Coats pass near the end of the second drive that met its target right on.


HE is THE guy!


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 Post subject: Re: The Mootland Beasts
 Post Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 9:35 am 
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Dear Diary

Green and smelly. You guessed right, yesterday we played against orcs. I know the guys expected a hard time and I had a good time laughing at them. Most of them actually care if we win or lose.
It was therefore quite surprising to see how we broke their armor like butter in the sun. Yeah of course the sun, didn't tell you about the sun did I Diary?

the heat it was SWELTERING! Made it hard just to stand still! Deeproot(yeah, he finally graced us with his presence) got real dizzy and had to stay in the dugout a drive thanks to the weather.
Like I was telling you about, the famous orc skin wasn't as bad as we imagined. Leaf It really made a show of smashing orcs together. And some of the guys managed to trip the orcs out of the field.

Then when the field was empty enough, the newcomer, Lenny Lettuce(II) made his way into the end zone with the ball. One-zero for the Beasts. Who would have thought that?

Second drive was harder. Even with Deeproot back on the field the orcs pressed diligently but they didn't managed to get the ball more than a few inches on our field-half. Then they manage to pick up the ball despite both trees trying to stop them(I think they got tangled into eachother). A pass that shouldn't have left the thrower let alone been catched by that blitzer that was marked by Harley Ham, Entre Coat and Adam Applechin. Somehow he then managed to pushaway Entre and run into our EndZone.
And then the whistle sounds. 1-1(5-2)

I managed to put two blitzers out of their misery before the ref notice me. I've started to understand that one needs to be blatant if you want the ref to see you. Most of the game i sat on the sidelines with a good McBurty Burger in my hand. that's life!

For some Dubious reason Entre Coat was chosen our teams most Valuable player. At least it wasn't Peter Pork. He got badly hurt early on and has been muttering ever since. Like music to my ears!

I hear our next game will be the Fury Cup. Some well developed team called Leaping Leapers or something. Rumors say they are some kind of frogs....I wonder how they taste.

UNtil the next Diary


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 Post subject: Re: The Mootland Beasts
 Post Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:58 pm 
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Bravo for the final score! A tie is always a sort of victory for the people of Moutland.

And ROFL at DeepRoot collapsing from heat exhaustion: 300K under the cat's tail!


Afroman wrote:
Somehow he then managed to pushaway Entre and run into our EndZone.

AND
Afroman wrote:
For some Dubious reason Entre Coat was chosen our teams most Valuable player.

Haha, normal!

I am sure that currently, Entre Coat should relax with an icy drink like a true hero in the rays of sunset on a Friday summer evening in the plains of Moutland!


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 Post subject: Re: The Mootland Beasts
 Post Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 12:41 pm 
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Dear Diary

Coach is losing it.
I found him the other day writing what looked like recipes. When I looked closely, I realized that I was actually looking at game summarys written like recipes! Here are some of the titles: (Sweltering Hot Green salad, Circus Stew with Bad Taste, Scrambled Beasts). Clearly it's only a matter of time before he breaks. Nobody that jokes with food this way can be completely sane.

I told the rest of the team. Of course that bully Pork wanted to take over the roll as coach right away. Thankfully Bob (Broccolli Bossom, that by the way has as many casualties as Pork and Leaf It now) shut him down. They all agreed(Pork gruntingly) that we would play the last two games and see what happens.

Personally, I'm seeing the beginning to the end of The Mootland Beasts.

Now the game against the frogs is about to start.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Jup, they were frogs. Don't take it wrong diary, I love frogs, specially with BBQ sauce that aunt makes but as soon as I saw these frog I new we were in over our heads.

Coach told our that there was good news and bad news. The good news were that we got so many inducements we could buy the whole team all over again. The bad news is that the cup-commish don't allow mercenaries or star players to help out during the cup.
Coach assured us that he would find the best Chef money could buy. And when we asked what the rest of the money went, he said: "You'll see soon enough".

The chef turned out to be all that we hoped for and more. The effects were visible on Pork right away. He was like an animal. He threw himself against everything that came within range. Whether it was a kroxigor or one of the frogs. He stayed on pitch almost the whole game, but sadly he only got unconscious. Too bad.

Pork wasn't the only one that played like there was no tomorrow. Entre received some new shoes after last game and ever since he has been eager to try them out. And try them he did indeed. Landing next to frogs twice his size, dodging several times an annoying tail, picking up the ball next
to the Kroxigor and dodging out. Nothing seemed to be impossible for him. But since no one came to support him so he got tackled hard and lost the ball. That's what happens when you show off.

Strange things happened during the game when you least expected it. Twice a Frog holding the ball flew up in the air just when we needed it. At one time Entre decided that he was going to show the frogs how an interception is done(witch ended in totally disaster I may add) and the Kroxigor demanded loudly that he and only he would lead the team and therefore would move first or not at all.

Despite the excellent Chef, Pork the Bully and Entre the Diva, there was no stopping the frogs. Nimble, tall, and freaking jumpy. An they all knew how to block you down. They were simply everywhere. 0-4(3-5) was the final score.

This was by far the most technical team we ever met. That made a deep impression on Leaf. I've seen her talking to Deeproot several times after the game. Private lessons? She was by the way the most valuable player on our team this game.

I saw early where this was going so as soon as I got a chance I dived for the floor and faked an injury. It worked like a charm. Not even the Babes managed to get me in the game again. And that's a good thing since I'm only here for the grub.

Until the next Diary!

Sam


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 Post subject: Re: The Mootland Beasts
 Post Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 10:25 am 
Legend
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Loving it!

the HFH are keeping watch on this space!

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 Post subject: Re: The Mootland Beasts
 Post Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 11:58 am 
Legend
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Great insight of an halfling team!
Cant wait to read how they do in their next game!

GO BEASTS!
:D


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 Post subject: Re: The Mootland Beasts
 Post Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 12:40 pm 
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Better than any blog !!

can we (the public) have a list of players + skills please??

keep up the good work!!

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Morg, Glart, Skitter, Puggy, Deeproot, Zug,


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 Post subject: Re: The Mootland Beasts
 Post Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 2:12 pm 
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Dear Diary

Coach has locked himself in and doesn't want to come out. Bob says that you can hear strange noises coming from his room from time to time. This has been going on for three days now.

Well, it all begun with the game against Altdorf Capital Ls. The expectations were high specially since they were the only other halfling team in the league. The buzz was that we were a more developed team and the chef on our side. On the other hand there were more of them. This game wasn't about getting into the finals. Early this week, the orcs of Da Looterz had won over the circus freaks of Bad Taste. And since then this game has been about who is going to have the turkey spot of this division. And more important according to coach: Who had the best Fling Team.

Altdorf had the offence. We defended aggressively, we knew that this was a team we could beat in close. It looked good. The trees avoided each other like the plague(Except Leaf that is, everytime she moved was to get closer to a tree). Pork had his own hitsquad who attacked the ball att every chance they got. My job(yes, coach actually gave me a task) was to only foul the trees. I was to stay near Leaf and wait for her to bring down one of the rookie trees Altdorf had brought along, then jump on it. I did wonder why Leaf and not Oaky. She hasn't practiced with us since the last game and I've seen her alone with Deeproot in the forest every evening.(I told coach but he just smiled a weird smile. Typical case of dendrophilia If I ever saw one).
As soon as Leaf striked at her target tree, I realized why I was with her and not Oaky. It first looked as if the rookie tree was going to resist Leaf but with a twist of the branch, Leaf forced him down to unison screams of the stadium (TTTTTTTTTTTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER). I've only seen Deeproot do that before.
With all these pressure Altdorf was forced to score quickly and that was just what coach had planned.

When it was our turn on the offence we were one hut short. Pork(who else?) lay unconscious and it didn't look s if he was going to awake any time soon. Nevertheless the game had a good flow. Harley Ham picked up the ball and runned it down the field with the rest of us as cover. There was never really much of a problem and I was able to stay out of the main focus. Yeah, and Harley managed to score. At the end of the half the score said 1-1.

Second Half. We start on offence. Harley takes the ball but doesn't really manage to bring it all the way to the defensive screen the rest of us put up. Still the chances any of them got a shot on him, less two of the, was minimal. Yet, that was exactly what happened. This was the turning point.
It started with a dodgey type running through the defence line and going for it just to reach Harley. Then one of the trees pick up one fling and throws him over Oaky. The fling get tangled in the branches and is forces to akwardly land between Oaky and me. Witch he does. Despite Oaky getting roots all over the place, this fling manages to blitz Harley.
The situation was not lost since Harley held the ball hard and stayed on his feet. It was when Adam (Applechin, not much to tell, lazy type, stays often in the background) tried to free up Pork(yea, he woke up) and Entre, but instead broke his own collar bone, when everything went downhill. Harley was sent to the infirmary and the ball was picked up and moved out of reach. Leaf tried tried to throw me but I refused(I still remember the fright last time Leaf did that to me). And they were able to score on our drive. 1-2
The air went out the team. Mistakes were made by nearly everyone(not me of course. I got banned from game just like I planned). Both Bab and Bob joined Harley in the infirmary, and Entre managed to trip over his own feet, how ever sure they were. We just never managed to regain the initiative after that TD and the score remained. 1-2(2-4)

Shortly after the game coach was found locked in. Nobody knows how long he will be there. The Season is over for us but training season will begin shortly. I wonder if the team will still be here then. Bob and Entre are going to check up on coach(or at lest his door) from time to time.

I guess I won't be eating gourmet for a while now.

Sam


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