Southfarthing Pie Men

[Smithysworld]

Introducing The Southfarthing Pie Men:

In a wooden hut, deep in the snowy north of the Auld World they gathered around a small fire. In the middle of them, standing tall (on a stool) was team founder and manager, Merrimac Pieman. As he spoke to his gathered players, he waved a pork roll to emphasise his point.

“So boys, this is it. These none pie eating dark elves are going to be our first match, and a tough one at that. But its cold out there, and these fleet footed, pointy eared, green bloodied veggies are not happy to play in the snow. So use that to our advantage, and remember, we have all the pie’s”

There was a cheer from the boy’s, not because it was such a rousing speech, hell lets be honest it didn’t really make much sense. But the pre-match meal had just arrived from the resident chef, 12 pies and a couple of large stout beers for the two treemen. Hoo-rah!!!

World of Darkness vs. Southfarthing Pie Men

Bob: Well Jim, here were are in Norse Country, and boy it’s cold.
Jim: It certainly is Bob, almost as cold as death himself.
Bob: You’d know Jim.
Jim: That I would Bob. It hardly seems like a fair match up today, the Dark Elf team are certainly kitted up with all latest steel armor.
Bob: The Halflings do seem to have a new set of colanders for their head gear Jim.
Jim: This is blood bowl Bob, not salad tossing competition.

Jim: Well the match is about to get underway, and it looks like the Dark Elves Team manager wants a quick word with the referee.
Bob: Would you look at that. While the refs back is turned the dark elves pile into the little folk prior to kick off. Well that hardly seems fair Jim.
Jim: Were not playing backgammon hear Bob. Ooh and it looks like Fosco Tealeaf has taken a slap to the face, he’s gone down quicker than whore at teatime.
Bob: I wouldn’t know Jim. But your right he certainly is looking alittle stunned over there. Finally the elves kick off, and the ball comes to rest midway in the Pie Men’s half.

Jim: Wait right there, Fosco is back on his feet, and his brother Otho Tealeaf has joined him in squaring up to the offending elf.
Bob: And there is Falco Spoonit charging at the elf in question, the three of them take him down hard. They may be little but they sure pack a lunch …err…. I mean punch.
Jim: And Apple Cedarcrown, one of the teams treemen smashes a right hook into another of the early runners from the elf team. OUCH, that’s a broken collarbone right there. He wont be back this game Bob, if ever.

Bob: Minto Greenbottle has the ball, he’s running towards the halfway line.
Jim: Bully Benchwarmer is bending over and grabs Minto in his branches. The treeman hurls Minto up field.
Bob: He’s not going to reach the end zone Jim, no way in ……………
Jim: I don’t believe it. Minto landed short but stayed on his feet. He’s, he’s skating on the ice towards the end zone. TOUCHDOWN!

Bob: Credit due Jim, that was a great play right there.
Jim: Sure was Bob. Well while we replay that score, the teams lineup for the kick off. Remember fans, World of Darkness are down to 10 elves. Lets hope they manage to get into this game.

Bob: And there off, Bob Twintoes leads the charge into the opposing field. Is it getting colder out here Jim?
Jim: The temperature has certainly dropped Bob, and the pitch appears to be frozen solid.
Bob: Well would you look at that. The dark elves are struggling to stay on their feet.
Jim: It’s the armoured shoes Bob, they’ve got no grip so their sliding all over the place.
Bob: Looking at that, it would appear to be slippier than a skink when asked to buy a round.
Jim: If you say so Bob.

Bob: The only players who seem steady on their feet are the treemen, and is that ……..
Jim: It is Bob, Apple Cedarcrown is striding downfield towards the ball.
Bob: He better hurry Jim, the elves seem to be pulling of their shoes. They’ll soon be after him.
Jim: That they will. But its going to be to little to late Jim. Cedarcrown has just successfully picked up the ball, and now he is charging into the end zone.
Bob: TOUCHDOWN!!

Jim: 2-0 to the Pie Men. Who’d have thought it, and that takes us nicely into half time.
Bob: We’ll leave you with a quick word from our sponsors.

Back in the Pie Men’s Hut.
“This game is easy” said Griffo Spinchair. I may even take out a sandwich for the second half.
A round of giggles filled the hut.
“You’ll do no such thing laddy” bellowed Merrimac. “If ya win though, I’ll buy you all the sandwiches, pies and ale you want. Now stick to the plan, and nothing can go wrong”
With a wink towards his treemen, Merrimac stepped off his stool and headed out the door.

Jim: Well Bob, the Pie Men are out on the pitch, but where are the Darkness?
Bob: I don’t know Jim, but if there not out soon, they will forfeit the game.
Jim: The ref is checking his sundial Bob, the fans are on the edges of their seats. He blows the whistle and the Pie Men have won.
Bob: Well they were two touchdowns down, and getting punched senseless by the treemen. Maybe they just called it a day.
Jim: Either way Bob, if you betted on the Pie Men for the victory, you will have made a small fortune as the odds were certainly against the rookies.
Bob: Well that’s all we have time for.
Jim: Farewell viewers, until next time.

“Well lad’s. Who’d of thought it. A Halfling team from Southfarthing pull off an upset like that. Your now official blood bowlers lads, and I’m proud to be your manager. Now off you go, celebrate in the tavern and I’ll pick up the tab”
The players roared and cheered Merrimac, for anyone willing to pick up the tab for a Halfling let alone a team, had a lot of coin.
And Merrimac had a lot of coin after betting on his team. He really did believe in his players, especially after going two up in the first half. But its always good to ensure success by any means. He smiled to himself as he tossed a little rusty key in the air, catching it in his pocket.
He’d unlock the padlock to the Dark Elves team hut eventually …… when they were asleep maybe and his two treemen had his back.
Merrimac smiled, “bring on the next team”, and off he walked to the tavern to join his team.