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 Post subject: Berta'z 'Ballet' Beyb'z - the life of an Ogre Coach
 Post Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2015 6:39 pm 
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Location: Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada
After much frustration working in the International Women's Dance and Fitness World Berta (human) has decided to try her hand at coaching a Blood Bowl team.

She is elegant, graceful, even stunning most would say.

Her boys, the Ogres and Snotlings recruited from all over Saskatchewan, would follow her to the ends of the Earth.

With persistance and love they will someday become a true force in the Regina Flatland organization.

In a pinch Berta'z grace and charm can at least distract a few players to give her Beyb'z a fighting chance!

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If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: Berta'z 'Ballet' Beyb'z - the life of an Ogre Coach
 Post Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2015 6:39 pm 
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Location: Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada
Berta'z Team Chant #1
Fling dem dere Snotties
Prance, prance, prance

Berta gives da Order’z
Dance, dance, dance

Hurting and a Hittin’
Crash, crash, crash

Mauling and a Smackin’
Mash, mash, mash

Ogres ‘r Sexy
Fun, fun, fun

If you were a weeeeee bit Smarter
YOU WOULD
RUN, RUN, RUN!!!

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If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: Berta'z 'Ballet' Beyb'z - the life of an Ogre Coach
 Post Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2015 6:39 pm 
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Free Showers Indeed
I just read the Deadwood Dodgers are offering free showers for my team before and after our game tonight. (Yes, I spelled the name of your team incorrect on purpose. My name is Berta not Bertha. Get it straight already).

I have heard about this secret fetish Elves have. It is scary in my opinion. Cross racial perversion. They probably have hidden camera's everywhere in our locker room.

In fact, I firmly believe they are just waiting for us to bend over so they can rub one off.

Never trust an Elf so some have said.

Thanks but no thanks Webby Leafblower.

P.S. The grace of true dance majesty is in the eye of the beholder.

~Berta

_________________
If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: Berta'z 'Ballet' Beyb'z - the life of an Ogre Coach
 Post Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2015 6:40 pm 
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Last call for Dodger Bounties!
Hey teams... have some extra change in that monster treasury and you are not exactly sure how to bleed it from your team?

Why not put a few bounties on the Dodgers? It is fun. It is exciting. It will make you feel special. Just like a good hooker.

The Ballet Beyb'z and I will do my damn best to rid this league of skilled up Wood Elves.

Face it. This is your chance. The sooner we are rid of them the happier we ALL will be.

Love you all,
Berta!

_________________
If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: Berta'z 'Ballet' Beyb'z - the life of an Ogre Coach
 Post Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2015 6:40 pm 
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We LURVE shoes!
The beyb'z and I lurve a great pair of heels! I have a closet full of them!

https://sistersofaudrey.files.wordpress....

~Berta

_________________
If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: Berta'z 'Ballet' Beyb'z - the life of an Ogre Coach
 Post Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2015 6:40 pm 
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Get your FREE dance lessons!
Hey boys (and sex-changed Lizards),

For the remainder of the month of February I will be offering FREE dance lessons for any players in the RFBBL.

Yup... You read this correctly. Dance lessons from me, Berta! No charge. Just your time! Now close your mouth, please.

I usually charge up to 1000 crowns per hour for my exclusive services.

I offer select dance moves which are custom taylored to a burly hunk of a machine like you! Yes, YOU!

Player's, now here is the important bit. You do not need to make arrangements through your coach. And for the love of Gork no you do not need to tell your wife and friends. This will be kept just between us. There is no shame in this. We are both professionals.

Just contact me directly at (306) 237-8222 (i.e. 306-BER-TABB). I guarantee you will be a whole new "man" in as few as one or two sessions!

Keep it classy everyone!

~Berta

_________________
If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: Berta'z 'Ballet' Beyb'z - the life of an Ogre Coach
 Post Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2015 6:41 pm 
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Truth
Hey everyone,

After all these posts about the Pitch Privateers coaching staff I simply have to chime in.

I don't know about any of you but to me Brainy Barrett looks an awful lot like Carnage Clayton.

Just sayin'.

In fact if you check out their team page you can find a pic of Carnage Clayton herself (at the bottom of the page). I always thought she was a Lizard but I guess my eyes have been blind.

And this pic is like 110% real. I got it myself from the Regina Morning Follower newspaper! 110% is a real thing Brainy Barrett. My Beyb'z give me 110% every time we play.

I am not much for the bearded look on gals, but whatever floats your boat.

Keep dancin' everyone!
~Berta

_________________
If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: Berta'z 'Ballet' Beyb'z - the life of an Ogre Coach
 Post Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2015 6:41 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2013 8:10 pm
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Clyde Crabtree Must ...
I am not a mean type of gal... Honest, I'm not..
But for the love of all things good and just in this world Clyde Crabtree really must... ahem..

DIE!!!!

Berta'z 'Ballet' Beyb'z - Misty Mountain Revengers ('15 FlatlandCup, Late Season)

~Berta

_________________
If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: Berta'z 'Ballet' Beyb'z - the life of an Ogre Coach
 Post Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2015 6:41 pm 
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Bloody Hell
OMG…

Ogres and Snotlings.

I am going to pull my hair out. I am going to become addicted to drugs or booze. What a nightmare. Honest to God, what have I got myself into?

Let’s start with the Ogres… At least some of them can twirl their way out of the tightest spots. And they know what to look for in order to help their pal standing next to them… In fact, they can even fall with such style that it only hurts the other guy.

But when it comes to making those dodgy pants players fall as they try to escape not a chance. They cannot block to save their lives. I mean basic skills guys. BASIC SKILLS!!! I ask them to do something EASY and they stare blankly at me for the next minute. I am going to SNAP!

And the Snotlings… oh.. I have had them well on track. Moving faster, more agility, and even those heroic diving tackles were superb. One day they got it the next day they die. Even with another apothecary paid out of my piddly diddly salary!

Life is not fair. Damnit – give me that bottle back. I need another swig or six.. Honestly, I am going to become an old crone before my time.

Where is my LEADER? Who is going to STEP-UP and learn the art of staying on their damn feet? Who is going to learn the art of NOT getting hurt?

I will not allow myself to be the disgrace of the RFBBL. If these ‘Ballet” Beyb’z don’t get their shit together soon I am going to make them wish they had never been born.

Rant over. Hugs. Keep dancin’ everyone!

~Berta

_________________
If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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