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 Post subject: Re: Ulthuan United - my first foray with a true agility team
 Post Posted: Wed Feb 03, 2016 11:28 pm 
Legend
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Well done, go UU! :D

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 Post subject: Re: Ulthuan United - my first foray with a true agility team
 Post Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2016 9:12 pm 
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In case anyone wanted an update - here is my current roster. I have a match against a fourth season Human team tonight. It has a fair amount of MB and Block. I totally expect a win, however! I am taking a wizard, wandering apoth, and 2 Babes. I will have 50k left for a card... which deck should i use? Based on the personality of the coach I decided against a bribe. If I open up that avenue he will ignore the ball and go for kills.

http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleag ... p=ro&t=ult

Cheers,
Michael

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Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
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 Post subject: Re: Ulthuan United - my first foray with a true agility team
 Post Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2016 9:41 pm 
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Consider Eldril Sidewinder for 200k. Hypnotic Gaze on an elven team is just ... well, it's pretty impressive when it works.

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 Post subject: Re: Ulthuan United - my first foray with a true agility team
 Post Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2016 9:38 pm 
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I arrived at the field early today. Smug and feeling great. A match against the Turunga Meeple Leafs. Easy as custard pie. Their record over the past four season’s has been far from stellar. Sure. This year they are playing good ball. Their speed is honestly light years ahead of last year. And now they even have a player who thinks he is an elf. Vator they call him. Yeah right, I thought.

Doesn’t matter. Confidently I smirked. This game is ours. We have gone over the plays. We all know what we need to do.

Some of the boys arrived early. Magyz. He is always ready for the game. Just like his dad was. Arryn. Check. Even Fenyryll was here early. I could tell they have felt the surge of victory pulsing in their veins.

About an hour before the game I started freaking out. “Where are the rest of the guys? Match time they are supposed to be here at least 2 hrs prior. I am going to cut off their salaries if they aren’t here NOW!”

Like clockwork, Ul-Ulyn, Thess-y-lar, and Storm waltz into the room. They are grinning ear to cheek. Silly boyish grins. Grins which are like they have just been crowned King of the Halflings. “What’s up guys? You are late. I am pissed. Get dressed. There is a 1% chance you will play today”, I shouted.

“But coach, we were helping the team. Last night at the club…”, replied Ul-Ulyn. Cutting him off, as I was livid, I yelled “No CLUBS the night before game day. Did I stutter on our previous meet?”

“But coach. Last night we met these super cool gals. They are going to bring their friends and cheer us on near the sidelines. I told them they could totally do this for our game today. It might do the boys some good. And they also knew Stan-lyus Eagle-Glyde! He will be here any moment. He thinks he can help our team a bit”

“Stan-lyus”, I thought. “Maybe this isn’t so bad. Old Stan is a seasoned Blood Bowl vet. From the old country. Many scars. A survivor. I was always told to respect my elders. Luck is on our side! Such a good team I have, I mused.”

As match time approached the heavy rain subsided. Rain. Go away. All that hard work by the ground-keeping crew undone. The field was a mess again. I can’t really blame the staff though. This damn swamp of a province leaves no place for the water to go. No place for water to drain so instead it sits on the surface. Making our cleats wet. Making our armour tarnished and green. Yuck. Green is a colour I cannot stand in the least.

Walking onto the pitch their they were. As hard as I tried to look away I must admit those ladies the boys brought today were fine. Damn Fine. I just hope they aren’t a distraction. Blood Bowl always comes first. It has to be this way. There is Blood Bowl and then there is life. And there are no exceptions. It is a rule of Nuffle I have been told.

The opening kick went to the center of the field. Stan-lyus was shaking his head. “Let me work with one of your players on that, coach”, he said. “That was ugly.” I agreed. “If we can put the ball where we want to our game will improve.”

Their Ogre began the drive as he bellowed loud and hard. He was so loud I thought he would tip over from his own voice. But at the last second he recovered and thumped my line-elf. (i.e. double skulls, then a successful loner re-roll)

In retaliation Magyz went after their top catcher. And he clocked him but good. There would be no way he would be coming back for this match I thought. But as soon as he hit the sideline their apothecary needled him up and sent him to the reserves. “What a meatball decision I mused. If he gets hit again his career will be over. They won’t have the resources to support anyone else this match. All we need is a good break now.”

Well we got our break. Literally. A few more minutes in and we were down four, then five. Every time they blitzed us they hurt us. The girls on the sidelines weren’t quite as merry. Thess-y-lar’s hip was wrecked. He was bleeding like the Ypress back home. “You got to save him I jumped. I cannot lose this player I told our healers. Damn. He has been working on his speed since joining our team. And it has paid off. He was my fastest guy by far. But now this! Woe are we.”

Say-Lyon was hurt next. He would be out for a game or two. How did they learn to hit so effectively. I guess experience eventually gets you there.

We tried to hold their advance. But less than halfway through with half-staff made defending difficult. Finally they pushed their way through for a score.

“I called the boys over. We are playing humans you meatballs. I get you are tired. That is your own fault. At a club the night before a game. Unbelievable. Now get out there and do what you should be doing. No more of this nonsense. You are here to play Blood Bowl or I will ship you to the dungeons of Menzoberanzan.”

During the next kick-off those girls did something I had never seen before. They tore off their track pants and jackets and immediately they were in these intsy-wintsy teeny weeny outfits. Shiny. Perky. Back-flips. Front-flips. Damn!! They looked stunning. I swear everyone was gawking. Even those not watching were gawking I’d bet.

Everyone except the Meeple Leafs that was. The ball hadn’t even touched the field and they had it caged. A blitz through our center let them sneak past our scattered players.

“Quit staring!” I screamed. “They have the ball.”

Thankfully we are High Elves. We can re-act quicker than most minds. Transcendence of immortality does that. We dropped back into position to stall their advance. With only seven players it would be a struggle, however.

Stan-lyus worked his way over and said, “I don’t think we can hold them coach. I think it is time to give the nod.”

Mage Blast time!” I smiled. I nodded to give the command to the Magus above. Down came fire and smoke. It surrounded the Leafs. I recoiled from the heat. But immediately the smoke cleared. Nothing. Rokik,their coach, was brimming with glee. I scowled at him. “They must have studied our tactics. I did think their uniforms looked different this game. Fireproof, perhaps? I will have to consult our armoury on this matter. I pay big bucks for our magic. There was no magic today.”

Undeterred, our boys kept pressing forward. We managed to recover the ball with a few clean hits. But again we were short in numbers. Quyk went upfield to await a pass. Van-Gyll had the ball but no protection. He had to make a choice. He could keep the ball midfield or toss it towards their end zone hoping Quyk would get it before the humans.

He tossed the ball. His aim was perfect. But then a commotion took place behind me. An Ogre was bawling and I swear the entire city could hear it. I turned around. And that is when it happened.

Disaster. I didn’t see it myself, but the crowd was silent. A Dark Elf ran onto the field to grab the ball. Immediately he tossed it back upfield into a mass of human blitzers. The players on the sideline were yelling for the ref. But alas, there was no ref to be found. Of course not. Another cheating play not caught by the keepers of the rules. (Editor’s note: I was extremely tired at the start of this match... Although the pass was accurate to the square, for some reason my brain felt the need to scatter the ball three times (as it would have if it was inaccurate) because their wasn’t a receiver. It ended up next to the sideline (all three d8 rolls were in the same general direction. The ball then bounced once and went out of bounds. Had I (or my opponent) had clear attention the ball would have only scattered once ON THE FIELD. And it would have very likely been a touchdown on the next turn. Woe is me. This play cost us dearly.)

In the next moment the humans recovered the ball and pressed forward. We hussled back trying to block their exits. There was only a few seconds left in the half. That damn catcher whom they called Vater leaped over our boys. He looked mad. Not angry mad. Looney mad. Like a human trying to pretend he is an Elf looney. As such, in he pranced for another score.

The half-time talk was not pretty. I was livid. Livid beyond livid. High Elves being shown up by humans. I told Fenyryll to hit me. This had to be a dream. But alas.

The boys entered the field with their heads low. They felt shamed. We had seven to line up versus a full team. We needed a quick score and a miracle. We lined up heavy to the left hoping to make a strong push opposite their top tackling players.

Disaster.

Our cheerleaders again were putting on a pretty wild show. Our boys watched hungrily. During the interlude their players had completely switched positions. They had started the kick spread out evenly. Now they were matching us on the same side. Woe is life. Woe to this foul swamp of Regina. Our advantage was gone.

Our new thrower, Douglass Flut-yien grabbed the ball. He had two boys open downfield on the left. He seemed unsure as we didn’t have enough men left to screen his position. He felt he needed to push a few more steps before launching the ball. And then he tripped for the second time in the match.

The ball went flying and a scrum broke out. The ball went from player to player. Their Ogre finally got caught in the distractions. His focus was absurd this match. It must be some form of Ritalin they are giving it. I have never seen an Ogre so well behaved. Woe to the Ogres. Woe to Ogre-kind. With a break in their line we found a surge of strength. We snagged the ball. Ul-Ulyn made an easy pass to Fenyryll. Fenyryll handed the ball to Tu-Naylya who was only under man to man coverage. Tu-Naylya did an easy dodge and put up a score.

That is how this match should be. One minute and another High Elf score. That is REAL Blood Bowl. But alas. Only a minute left in the game and we were down to five players on the pitch. Our apothecaries were exhausted. It would take a miracle it seemed. Three of our men were on their faces after the kick. Another one dropped on a blitz. Then they even fouled him with one of the cowards. Of course, no refs to be seen anywhere.

We made one last attempt at stealing the ball. Two High Elves standing can still score. If two can score three should be a piece of cake. I have seen it done. We went for the blitz but they held the ball firm. Our chance at a tie were over.

By this time most of our fans had left in disgust. The league then offered us a whopping 20K in compensation. 20K. That won’t cover anything from this game. We came here for riches and glory. 20 000 Crowns. A slap in my face.

We will now be down 2 crutch players for our next match on Tuesday. It will be against Skaven so we will have to be on our toes. They can even run faster than these steroid filled humans.

It is time to regroup. It is time to rethink. It is time to potentially re-staff. Some of our boys are hurting. Maybe it is time for some new blood again. Our next game will be different. Mark my words.

I am Prince Veng-yr of Eataine. We represent the glory of our noble home. We are Ulthuan United.

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Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
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 Post subject: Re: Ulthuan United - my first foray with a true agility team
 Post Posted: Wed Feb 10, 2016 5:36 pm 
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Game 13: Warpstone Wylds / Skaven (0) vs Ulthuan United / High Elves (4)

After that dismal lost versus the Meeple Leafs the boys knew things had to change. I demand more out of my crew than what they have been given. 160% now instead of 110%. My boys are paid well. They are fed well. We all have a heart for the game. We love Blood Bowl.

Over the last few days we took in many lessons from our games so far. Analyzed. Reviewed. Learned. How to correctly switch up our defense. How to blitz our opponents immediately after the ball is kicked. How to stand on our feet and not get hurt. Most importantly our boys all had a good meal before the game. We were ready.

Our fans seemed reserved tonight. They didn’t show up in the numbers they had previously. Thankfully, the Wylds haven’t built up a solid fan base yet. I am sure that will change. This city is infested with rats and mice and the numbers are growing. Especially with such a mild winter. It was nice to see the weather co-operating tonight. No heavy rain for a change.

The Wylds elected to kick. Their coaching staff was as ready as ours giving us some extra confidence. I could smell something from the sidelines. It seemed fragrant yet non-familiar. A few of the boys were tempted for a quick morsel. Yuck, they shouted. This tastes funny they warned the others.

Like most important roles in this world, there are good Halfling chefs and there are others. The good chefs are great. They can blend ingredients into a heavenly combination. The others not so much. Remember, RFBBL coaches - feed your boys before you take to the pitch. It is something we learned the hard way.

Early on they managed to knock out one of our boys. Say-Lyon, our most veteran guard, to be precise. Oh well. At least he wasn’t hurt bad. And we started the match like we often do with a pathetic block. But Tu-Naylya was able to recover last second and not make a clown of himself.

A few minutes into the match we manged to tuck the ball and send a few runners down. We stayed spread out over the pitch able to react as necessary. They pressed the ball modestly and that gave us our opening. Ul-Uyn sent a perfect pass up to Quyk and we were up a score.

We quickly set up for the next drive. Our fans were excited. Our cheering girls were back, undeterred by the events of the last game. Good. Hopefully they can distract our foes more than they distract us. Their outfits were a bit more modest than the last game. Thankfully. Our kick didn’t go as planned and flew out of bounds. We still need to work on that.

We were able to man up on coverage. They Wylds are still a new team. They have a few things to discover. Their armour not quite as robost as ours. Actually, not even close to robust. Our armour smiths are among the best in the world. Ulthuan Armour versus skaven armour. Not even close really. Blessed are the Sons of Ulthuan. After putting some slight pressure on the ball carrier they made their move sending a few runners into our end. Then things started to go our way.

We were able to land a few heavy blows. One of their players fell hard attempting a dodge. His neck looked somewhat twisted and uneven, but the apothecaries were on him like a dirty shirt.

They went for a throw on an unprotected runner. And the ball wasn’t on target. The crowd got a hold of it and threw it to another crowd section. We waited patiently. Finally, a fan tossed it to center-field. Again we grabbed the ball, made a quick pass and made a quick push down the left side. Tu-Naylya was able to run the ball in and we were up two scores. Good, I thought. That made up for his dismal block earlier.

With only a few seconds in the half our boys were feeling good. Up two scores to one of the fastest teams in the league. Hard work pays dividends. After sending a nice kick to the sideline we were able to change up our defensive formation. It made me proud to be honest.

As their team was short-staffed they tried to hide that dirty rat, Fezglitch, among their thinned ranks. He looked kind of skitterish to be honest. But I am not sure if that is normal on such foul beings. We were able to avoid getting hurt on the line and the half time whistle blew. The poor rat could hardly swing his ball and chain. I think he must have tried that Halfling concoction as well.

Finally the refs did something useful and sent their ball and chain to the dungeon. I would like to thank the commissioner for getting his referee’s back on track this match! I won’t say it is about time, but it was!

Our defensive formations were solid tonight. More than solid. Solid and tight. No gaps in our line at all. We would allow a narrow channel down middle field in case they wanted to push forward.

During the half time show again I could smell something sweet coming from the Wylds sideline. Reservation got the best of us so we waited and watched. The Wylds seemed famished as rats likely are to be. They snatched a plate when the coach wasn’t looking. The snatcher then started coughing and flipped his plate. Sqqqeeeek was all I could hear. He did not look too pleased and started a coughing fit. Our boys decided all that is sweet isn’t necessarily good. We passed the temptation. Again, preparation and a good pre-game meal was the key.

Our kick was well placed and we were off running. We caught the rats flat footed and immediately got a jump on them. We again opted for man on man coverage giving them few extra players to form a deep cage. They were able to carry the ball to center when we pounced. Those gutter runners can sure move. But they are still green. Newby green that is. And as such they are a bit squishy still. For a third time tonight we were able to pop the ball loose.

A few quick dodges and a quick pass and we were up three scores. I swear I could hear the cheers all the way from Ultuhan.

We braced ourselves for the magic which surely would come our way. But it didn’t transpire. Our counter-magic must have held fast.

The clock continued to wind down. They Wylds were desperate for a score. They started taking some chances. But our defense held fast. We were able to get a few more lucky breaks and for a fourth time scooped the ball. With only seconds remaining we threw it to our lineman, Fenyryll. He had an amazing game against the Leafs so I was happy he had put himself into a potential scoring position. With moments left in the match we were up four.

Some games the ball bounces your way. Other games they don’t. This was a good bounce. I am sure the Wylds will a million times more ready in their next match. We all have things to learn. Blood Bowl is an art. Blood Bowl is part science. Put the two together successfully and you can create magic. Today was magic for Ulthuan United. I am proud of these men.

We eagerly look forward to our next foe. Our team is now fully recovered and thus full strength in our next match. Finally!

Tonight was a good night. Hail the High Elves of Kan-a-da! Hail Ulthuan United.

~Prince Veng-yr of Eataine

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If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
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 Post subject: Re: Ulthuan United - my first foray with a true agility team
 Post Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2016 7:58 am 
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And here is the commentary from the Wylds head coach (regarding my last game):

Wylds Coaching staff in ruins after loss
The Wylds locker room was reduced to a smoking crater littered with corpses after Coach Erwügen annihilated most of his coaching staff. This murderous rampage came after the Wylds humiliating 4 - 0 loss to the Ulthuan United.

Team star Schnell was quoted saying, "Those horrible Elf-things will pay! We'll kill-kill them next time! The pitch will run red-red with their elf-blood!"

It's currently unknown if the Wylds will be in better form for their next match against the Chaos Brawlers Football Club this Friday night. The Wylds will be without their key blitzer, Strumratte, who is undergoing surgery to remove astro-granite from his spine.

Team Apothecary, Doktor Maus, had this to say, "While we've got him opened up I was hoping to put in some warpstone powered goodies, like maybe a Warpcoil Cannon, or a Plague Launcher. However, the league commissioner informed me we are behind on our bribe payment schedule, so it will have to wait."
- Erwügen

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Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
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 Post subject: Re: Ulthuan United - my first foray with a true agility team
 Post Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2016 7:25 pm 
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Game 14: Tauriel's Elves / Wood Elves (0) vs Ulthuan United / High Elves (3)

“Another day, another dollar”, some say. I never feel that way.

As a head coach of a fabulous High Elf team it is more like, “Another day, another glorious win.”

Cause let’s face it. If you aren’t playing to win what is the point. Death can come easy. Some people jump off mountains attached to wings. Some people get caught in the junk. If you are going to go out, you mine as well do it with some gusto!

Our match today was hot. Hotter than that, even. Sweltering heat in the middle of February. Who would have thought? The stands were packed in a sea of blue, red and white.

“Even the lesser races of this city have UU fever”, I thought. “How could they not?”

We were up against our Wood Elf Kin tonight. They are a new team like us. And some have said those wardancers can do legendary things.

“We will see”, I thought. “We will see.”

I have a mini-rant. Here we were. All fed and ready. But of course, as soon as the boys hit the field we can smell the usual. This time it was chocolate. And peanut butter. Now, if there is a weakness my boys have it is those two things. They leaped their way over to the booth. Tasting this. Sampling that. To the maximum effect possible.

Stuffed beyond stuffing we would need to be at the top of our game.

As we kicked the ball a bunch of hoodlums stormed the pitch. Five of the Wood Elves dropped. Two of mine. It was a mess. The kick was good and the game began.

As the game progressed the sky started turning colours. First red, then purple, then green, etc, etc. Magic was in the air but this wasn’t anything I had seen before. I looked up to our Mage to ensure he had things under control. He gave me that look of assurance. He knew what to do.

We managed to defend well. As the first half ticked away they started to panic. They threw the ball to a lone runner. Up jumped Quyk. Higher than I have seen him jump before. “Wardancers, smordancers.” Qyuk picked the ball out of the air as an eagle might catch a jumping trout. It was our first official interception. With confidence we moved downfield, handing off to Arryn. Only a few defenders were in our way. Arryn, with the ball, decided to blitz his way into the end zone. And he fell.

There is a song I once heard in a seedy bar a few weeks ago. “Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble.” Have truer words ever been spoken?

Somehow Magyz managed to recapture the ball and ran it in for our first score.

After the second half we received. Thankfully the sweltering heat subsided to a more reasonable degree.

The Halfling chefs had not been idle during the first half. They had a bunch more delicacies for us to try. Cinnamon and apples. Cool ice cream to cool ourselves. It was dreamy and creamy.

They kicked to us and one of their wardancers immediately broke through the line in a suicide blitz. It seemed as time had slowed. He went for a flying kick but Ul-Ulyn ducked at the last moment. Our Kung-Fu movie training had paid off. The wardancer dropped.

Immediately we sprang into action. We worked our way up field as quick as we were able.

Then disaster struck. Some lowlife lineman grabbed Fenyryll. And he started punching and elbowing. It was too much. Our guys couldn’t get into place to support him. And he dropped. His life was not in vain. Another beautiful elder spirit lost into the next world.

Vowing vengeance, Thess-y-lar ran the ball in for our second score.

After we kicked the wood elves tried a few more plays I had never seen before. They tried to hide the ball allowing for a double pass in one turn. I think I will call that play the flea flicker. It was quite effective. Again they tried to pass to a lone runner. Arryn had carefully studied the moves of his brother-kin, Quyk, earlier this game. He foresaw the ball landing in his arms. Up he jumped with success. Two interceptions in one match!

Glory to us. Glory to Ulthuan United.

We moved swiftly up field. Confident to score. Arryn put us up three.

In the dying seconds the sky again turned colours. Our boys felt funny. They felt off. They felt green and dorky. They felt goblin like. The sands of time increased. I looked at our Mage and he was nowhere to be found. I looked again to the Halfling stands and there he was. Trying the pastries. He will be docked salary for that play.

As he looked at me he said a word of power. The magical sky abated.

Victory would be ours. The people of Regina can rejoice. Now we must send Fenyryll to his next home.

Prince Veng-yr of Eataine

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If you could be anyone would you be yourself? ~ yup it's mine!

Michael aka Da Big Green 'Un (commissioner Regina Flatland BB League - RFBBL)
http://www.reginaflatland.bloodbowlleague.com


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 Post subject: Re: Ulthuan United - my first foray with a true agility team
 Post Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 5:23 pm 
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Game 16: The Itza Ravagers / Lizardmen (1) vs Ulthuan United / High Elves (2)

Oh the woes. My heart is heavy today.

Those foul lizard-beasts are ugly. Claws and teeth. Gnashing and biting. And where are the refs in all of this? Nowhere to be seen, of course.

The match started with Ulthuan United on defense. Their coaches seemed to be huddled up in a corner. Then they gave a small cheer. Something that sounded like, “Sssssip Ssssssip Sssssooooooray!” I mean really? That is something our little children do. I also heard Walmart employee’s do that kind of thing as well. Classy. Very classy.

And then it happened. A few minutes into the game that damn large crocodile, whom they call Agrippa, laid a blindside on Tu-Naylya. His back looked bent. I sent out Gwyn-Lynn Sage, our best healer, immediately. She shook her head. There was nothing she could do. The nerve had been crushed.

A few moments later disaster. Kryss-Stava’s old injury got the best of him. As he circled around the backfield the lizards surrounded him. One of those slimy, ugly skinks kicked him right in the collarbone. I heard the snap of his bone. Our apothecary was still doing what she could for Tu-Naylya. He would be out for a while.

What has our team done to so upset the heavens? We have been following the path of good. We have even been going into the schools to encourage the tots to stay in school. Blood Bowl has glory and fame but it is a dangerous and hard lifestyle. The wives and mothers and daughters of a Blood Bowl player must feel tense before every game. Will their husband, son, or father return tonight? Will he be able to show his pearly white smile or will it be toothless?

Success. One of their skinks tried to dodge away and went down. He would be out for a game or two.

We rallied into columns and did our best to stop their advance. We held till mid-half. We did our best to make them take unnecessary chances. But they managed to win the die roll and with that their skink ran in for a score.

Skinks. They seem so lanky and odd. But for some reason they can run like the wind. It doesn’t make sense at all. A skink able to run like my fastest. A skink as fast as my best catchers. The gods are a cruel fate.

My boys were mad. I would say hopping mad but that just reminds me of those other damn fat lizards they call the slaan. I was fiercely mad. Revenge was inside me.

We kept the ball deep in our end while we sent up runners. A quick pass and Thess-y-lar had the ball on their end zone. We decided to wait a few more seconds to kill the clock.

Disaster. One of the large lizards thumped Storm. He fell immediately. I felt the light fade within seconds.

Storm’s father, Wynd-Breaker, and I have been eternal friends. I have watched Storm since he was a youth. Growing, learning, keeping his mind and body in perfect condition. Not only for his career but for the girls. And now he is gone to the heavens. Life is not fair. This Blood Bowl father they call Nuffle has a sick mind. I have seen Storm slay goblin after goblin on the battlefield. He could have been anything in this world yet he decided to play for me, Prince Veng-yr of Eataine. He had a longing for conquest and adventure and he chose to come under my protection. But alas I failed him tonight. I will shave my head in shame as my hurt is too great.

With Storm’s cry Thess-y-lar ran the ball in.

The fans were wild. A few hoodlums decided to throw rocks. Another skink dropped. The rock was almost half his size. His neck looked broken. A moment later, in horror, I watched as Arryn was pelted with a rock as well. I was already down one Blitzer. I could not afford another. He avoided serious injury but he was out cold.

The second half began with us on offence. We stayed in our end in tight zones for the first few minutes. Then disaster. Quyk’s old injury flared. Maybe it was this foul weather. Cold one day. Hot the next. Can the weather in this cursed country not make a decision? It is like our crones back home. “The fates show us this”, they say one day. “The fates have showed us something different,” they say the next. Another big lizard clipped him hard. Down he fell. His hip was out of place.

I was starting to regret this match. No refs. The weather wasn’t even that great. The fans were split down the middle. What poor incentive to play such hideous creatures. What is the glory in beating such ugly things? Little glory is the answer.

We sent our runners up-field. We dispersed their defenses. They would have to split up to keep us marked. We kept running with a small stream of green following around us. Arryn tried to get away and a skink put out his foot to trip him up. Down he fell. Thankfully it was just a bruised ankle. He would be ok.

Eventually Ul-Ulyn made his pass to Magyz who had leaped around a bunch of slime and was waiting in their end zone.

With only a few minutes left in the game we needed a fortunate kick. Again, their coaches huddled for a cheer. This was the third time this game. My coaching staff mocked them. It felt good. It was the only time I managed a smile this match.

With six players remaining our boys braced for the final minutes. Our kick went deep and they quickly advanced down our port side. We created overlapping tackling locations. Then Magyz saw his opportunity. He leaped over a big lizard, made a quick dodge, and blitzed their ball carrier. He managed to drop him cleanly.

They scrambled for the ball and made a last desperate play.

But victory was ours. Or was it?

We won the match, but our boys had been hurt and maimed. Magyz had a brilliant game. The executives thought so as well and gave him the MVP.

Alas. Our prayer’s will need to be renewed. We are tough, however, because we are High Elves.

The injuries this match make me furious. Some sort of supernatural presence seemed to envelope those Itza Ravagers. It was like they could not avoid penetrating our armour. We will need to again create new suits of battle. Something which will block the lizard nails and teeth.

We must rest tonight. Our next match is against the dwarves from the Misty Mountains. Thankfully they took a bit of a beating in their last match so they are also licking their wounds. It will be the classic rivalry. Blazing speed vs stumpy and grumpy.

We will not stumble tonight. We are Ulthuan United.

~Prince Veng-yr of Eataine

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 Post subject: Re: Ulthuan United - my first foray with a true agility team
 Post Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 5:32 pm 
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I Shall Shave my Head

Where is the glory in beating lizards? There is no glory. Some are fat and others lanky. But they are all ugly. Uglier than ugly. Fouler than foul.

Our armour is being re-tooled as I write this. Never again will your infected claws and teeth get through like they did last night.

You killed my friends son. Storm Tallstryde will be avenged.

Forever I will forego my flowing locks. I will shave my head in remembrance of my fallen kin. My heart bleeds with rigor.

Our fury begins. The fury of Ulthuan United will burn hotter than our hate for the darkness. It will burn hotter than our disdain of our fallen evil kin.

Never again will my men see such hurt and pain as we did the eve of yore. Beware foes of Ulthuan. Your fate is sealed with death and despair.

~ Prince Veng-yr of Eataine

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 Post subject: Re: Ulthuan United - my first foray with a true agility team
 Post Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 11:06 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Ulthuan United - my first foray with a true agility team
 Post Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2016 6:47 pm 
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Game 17: Misty Mountain Revengers / Dwarf (1) vs Ulthuan United / High Elves (2)

Dwarves. The bain of our Elven existence.

Once we had good relations with them. We shared life even. When the forces of good were in peril we stood together. Valiant and strong.

Alas, their stubborn foolishness. Grudges even. It makes me sick. You give a dwarf your best and it will never be good enough. Their greed and love of jewels and gold will always be their downfall.

The Misty Mountain Revengers are a third year RFBBL team. They have arguably the best player in the league, Clyde Crabtree. He is rapidly approaching All-Star status. His coach, Tor Shaleworker, is already calling him a legend. They also have strong players such as Balin Whitebeard and Harsk Bloodaxe.

Perhaps, Clyde Crabtree is one of the best. Perhaps he will get to the grail of the game as a legend. But don’t count your chickens our mother-maidens used to say.

They elected to kick first. We were ready. As soon as the ball hit their kickers foot we were off. They had neglected to shore up their wide zones. My catchers and blitzers zipped through deep into their end. Seconds later our newly acquired catcher, Yvres Serpent-Fying drove in for a score from a solid pass from Ul-Ulyn.

Wow! His first game in the league. Only seconds into his first match and a score. My smile was as bright as the Ulthuan sun. Brighter perhaps.

As we kicked for the next drive we exploded into action. We launched a straight up blitz against the dwarves. I was feeling elated. Confident. This game was ours.

The dwarves managed to cage up and started a drive down our left flank. We tried our best to hold. But in the end they were able to knock us down enough to draw an opening.

These dwarven foes may be our true nemesis. We have speed and grace. They have raw strength and power. My boys started getting pummeled into the dirt. I told them to be on guard. Stay away. Stay away like we practiced earlier. Minimize their strength.

But we were eager for the ball.

They handed the ball to Clyde and he ran it in.

We were up against the wall. We would be kicking to them in the second half. Short-staffed for the next drive. And then it happened again. A rock was launched from the crowd. Bloody Hell. For the second or third time in as many games Arryn was pelted. He was out cold.

I have already put out scouts to find out what the deal is. Someone hates this Elf. I am not sure why. How can anyone hate an Elf? More importantly, how can anyone hate a High Elf from Ulthuan? More importantly, how can any person in this world hate Arryn Dragon-Hayrt? Do they have no sense or sanity?

Once again, the rock-heads began systematically whittling our boys off the field. It was driving me nuts. This time they pushed down on our right flank. Our boys were lying down everywhere. My hands were sweating. They could very well hold us off for the rest of this drive. Another loss. Damn. DAMN. How could this be?

With a few minutes remaining they decided to push to our end zone. DAMN!!!

Someone in the crowd yelled, “Show us what you got Clyde.” Beaming he flipped a quick pass to his team-mate. It was caught with ease.

“Do it again!” someone else shouted. It sounded like an Elven voice to be honest.

In response his team-mate decided to flip Clyde back the ball. Clyde had been distracted, however. He must have thought his team-mate was going to run the ball in. As such, the ball bounced off his helmet straight into the crowd. Thankfully, the quick thinking of one of our fans prevailed. This Elven beauty picked it up before anyone knew what had happened. She immediately launched it towards us. Magyz jumped up and grabbed the ball faster than fast. He threw it up-field to Say-Lyon. He then ran like the wind getting out of range of their defence.

Surely the gods have found favour in us I thought. Our dedication to perfection could not go unnoticed.

And then it happened. The dwarves were furious at their misfortune. They surrounded Yvres. And they didn’t care who was watching. They began stomping his body. I was screaming to the refs stop this madness. But they seemed too scared to make the call. The dwarves were hell-bent on distruction.

As I have already stated, I have been shaving my head. The sadness I carry for my players who have left the world under my tutelage has driven me to this state. My long flowing locks of gold are no more. Instead I have a sun-darkened visage.

Yvres. His very first match. The first few seconds in the league and he scores like it was nothing at all. Like stealing candy from babies. And now his body lay motionless on the field. I wailed in anger at the gods. Why???

Sensing the pain Say-Lyon ran in the score. We had won the match. But oh the cost. The unbearable pain.

My body is in shock. I must atone from the evils I have brought upon this team. I have no more words. My pain is a dagger through my heart.

~Prince Veng-yr of Eataine

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 Post subject: Re: Ulthuan United - my first foray with a true agility team
 Post Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2016 6:47 pm 
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Match 18: The Eerty Nemegols / Halflings (1) vs Ulthuan United / High Elves (2)

Last night we had our second season match vs those plump porkers, The Eerty Nemegols. In our previous match me were woefully unprepared. We stumbled all over the pitch and they were making us look like fools. It was ugly. But the food was delicious. Unfortunately it was also our distraction and downfall.

I think we finally learned our lesson. All of my boys have been on strict mandatory meals for the past few days.

Why the strict meal regimen? I will tell you why. Temptation is everywhere. Other than sexy Elflings what is an Elf’s main temptation? Duh. Food, of course. Baking. Sweets. Chocolate. Nothing can distract us during a match like home-made bread and choke-cherry jam with cream.

As we moved onto the field I noticed an odd sight. Puggy. Puggy Baconbreath. I knew of him, of course, but had never met him previously. I decided to say hi. I then asked him if he had tried the custard pie or the fresh bread? He hadn’t as he has been out of the province for a while. After a bit of bacon buttering up I offered to buy. As a sign of respect from one Blood Bowler to another. Puggy started with a morsel. Fantastic he said. Soon he had devoured a few plates. He even encouraged his team to take a few bites for good measure. Who were they to argue? Even their coach, Brainy Smurf got into the action.

Perfect, I thought. I am a genius.

The weather was wonderful last night. Not too cold. Not too hot. Just right.

We opened with a kick to our left flank. Our boys were not quite ready, however and those plump-heads began moving immediately.

Halflings are awkward. They look like they couldn’t hurry if their life depended on it. But, unfortunately, that isn’t the case. They can twist and turn on a dime at times. They are not lean, killing machines like us Elves.

As we witnessed in our last match a few minutes in one of their trees lifted that dodgy goody two shoes, Bully Smurf. I think he is leading the league in TD’s and overall points. It is quite unbelievable to be honest. More like disgusting. Surely this cannot be the best the RFBBL has to offer? But he is as sure footed as a Bull Centaur and as agile as an elf.

Oh well. If you let one player always be the star on a team it is vulnerable. That is why I tell my boys the assists are just as important as the score. Share the wealth. We are a team. That is an important concept in this game.

Back to the match. A few moments in and that bully-prancer prances in for a score.

No worries, I thought. We have lots of time to even up. We managed to get a few good hits in. Nothing shattering, but enough to ring their bell for the rest of the game. Towards the end of the first half Quyk moved in for the score. He even contemplated doing a hand-off to Thess-y-lar, but decided to take no chances.

During our next kick we knew we had to mass a strong defence. They would have enough time to score if we weren’t on guard. We managed to KO that Bully feller. Good. No elf-like shenanigans this drive I mused.

They had a small opportunity to score but some quick moves on our end were enough. We were even heading into the second half.

The sidelines seemed to be full of action. Halflings had swarmed the concession. And they were gulping water like madmen. This stuff is the best I heard one say. Wow. I feel stronger already said another. Johnny, pass that brew over hear said another. Waterboy, I am next.

Shenanigans, I thought. Perhaps we should investigate as a future option. Surely our mages can concoct something better.

Their kick was unreal. It landed on the line of scrimmage. To make matters worse they changed up their defense and re-organized their players catching us off guard, swarming the potential landing area for their kick. Van-Gyll reached up but he was covered. The ball landed next to him.

We scrummed up the center and tried to grab the ball. The scrum made things tough, even for such incredible creatures as us.

One of the half-wits managed to pick the ball but he had nowhere to hide. To make matters worse they were surrounding some of our players and kicking him. I looked for the refs. But of course they were on the sidelines back to the field eating pastries.

In blitzed Magyz, thankfully, and like clockwork he dropped both the ball and the pudge.

The field felt different this drive. It felt spongy and springy instead of the usual uneven ground. The halflings were being protected somehow. I nodded to my Mage in the stands to deal with this. He nodded back in return.

Eventually we were able to make some room and drove the ball downfield. We screened off any intruders for a short time. Eventually Arryn handed off the ball to Quyk as we moved around near their end zone, trying to kill some of the clock. Eventually we scored.

The fans went nuts. The halflings were again drinking that water like it was the finest Elvish wine. Some of our boys even went over to ask for a drink but they said no.

Our kick was central as our foes began one final push to tie the game. Their tree, General Sherman, managed to get a solid hit on Magyz. Darn. He was having such an incredible game. Magycal even. My healers stated he would be out for another match to recover.

We again managed to KO Bully who was their primary threat. They had failed to send a cherry picker up field. I told my boys to swarm the ball and swarm the trees. None of these tossing shenanigans. So they did.

Somehow one of those slippery blubbers managed to pick up the ball. He then dodged through a field of Elves and handed it off to his peer. The tree attempted the launch but his timing was off.

And with that the whistle blew.

Last night was a good night. We were able to even up the score. Our hard work and practice has made all the difference.

We can’t take too much pride in our win, however. We only beat pudge-balls after all. Not even full sized creatures. Small, plump bellies of jelly.

I must now rest and begin my prayer’s as our next match will be tonight versus the foul forces of Chaos.

Long be blessed High Elves of Ulthuan.

~Prince Veng-yr of Eataine

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 Post subject: Re: Ulthuan United - my first foray with a true agility team
 Post Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2016 7:56 pm 
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Game 19: Chaos Brawlers Football Club / Chaos (0) vs Ulthuan United / High Elves (3)

Another nice evening.

Tonight we once again faced those foul creatures of chaos – The Chaos Brawlers Football Club. They are terrible, horrible monsters. Most of them smell awful. Like a mangy dog fresh out of a pool of sludge.

We lost the coin-toss and they told us to kick to them. So be it.

Immediately things became heated. Some of our boys and some of their beastmen got into it. It started as Van-Gyll offered a beastman a stick of gum. His breath was foul. What a nice guy. Peppermint always does the trick. Seeing the courteous geussture by his peer, Say-Lyon offered another beastmen some deodorant. They took a smell at the products and began howling. Then the horns were lowered and the pushing and gnashing began. Soon most of the players were in the scrum. The ref let the clock run as I thought they might.

Can’t really blame them to be honest. The sooner the game is over the sooner they can head to the pub or their mistress or perhaps to Berta’z parlour.

Amongst the confusion I noticed Max Spleenripper had taken to the field. I can smell that hideous monster a mile away. Immediately he pulled the cord on his chainsaw and nitro filled the air. Nitro is a smell I hate more than a wet minotaur.

The nitro in the chainsaw was perhaps a bit steep. The raw power seemed a bit too much for him to handle. He was struggling to control his weapon and he fell hard to the ground.

The ball was kicked and immediately they ran for it. A white horned beast tried to pick it up but fumbled it.

In rushed Thess-y-lar. This kid is a speed fiend. Unfortunately, the ground was uneven and he fell as he tried for a lightning fast duck and scoop.

As the ball lay on the ground a little mangy dog sprinted onto the field. The beastman uttered something incomprehensible, but the dog immediately started carrying the ball to him. Thess-y-lar bellowed and the dog scampered away.

The beastman again tried to pick up the ball and again stumbled. Thess-y-lar sprang into action and went in for the score.

The fans were cheering and our coaches hurriedly yelled a few minor adjustments. We managed to hold off their advance for the rest of the half.

Entering the second half they had successfully bribed the refs to allow Max to re-enter the field. Money and gold. Why does the world need to revolve around such trivial things? When you have a lifespan such as a High Elf you can transcend these petty annoyances.

Pfft. Real beauty is in the love of a delicate, submissive lady Elf.

Keelan dove straight at Max and took him down with his superior wrestling techniques. Arryn blitzed a beastman and knocked him out cold. Now. This is what I expect of my guys.

We went heavy into their zone as they tried to screen us off. Sensing a net, we moved the ball back into our end for safety. As we scattered we continued to pick off their players. At one point we had five of them in the recovery areas.

Then disaster. They blitzed Ul-Ulyan who had moved a bit too far forward. The hit was foul. It reeked of pain and darkness. Immediately I sent my healers onto the field. He wasn’t breathing. But somehow their training brought him back into this world. Praise to the heavens.

Fortunately they didn’t have anyone in position to recover the ball. In response, Doug-lass snatched the ball and did a short pass to Quyk. Quyk then bolted up field and handed it off to Tu-Naylya. He drove straight for the end zone and scored.

We kicked the ball deep and it landed near their end zone. They managed to drive it towards the center of their zone. We blitzed in and knocked the ball loose. We had a chance to score but Thess-y-lar was wanting the TD. His great grandmother was in the crowd watching and he wanted to get two scores this game. As such Arryn waited for him to get into position.

This allowed their guys to get in for a blitz. A small flash of light appeared on the beastman. He seemed to radiate with unholy energy. Crack went our armour as his horns launched into Arryn. The ball flew free as Arryn fell. As our boys cringed at the blow another beastman picked up the ball, then dodged left, right, forward and back… all the way up our left flank. He went for a midfield sideline pass where two of his kin were waiting. The pass was on target but the clumsy fool failed to catch it. The ball went into the crowd and some kind soul tossed it back in towards our boys. We easily managed to recover the ball and pitched it to Thess-y-lar.

He ran in for our third score.

One final kick to the chaos beasts before time would expire. They tried to hurt us but our armour held fast.

What a glorious night for the citizens of Regina. The forces of darkness and evil had yet again been vanquished. Light and good prevailed tonight - as it should for the rest of eternity.

We are the glorious High Elves of Ulthuan. We will not fail in our quest for the cup.

~Prince Veng-yr of Ulthuan

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 Post subject: Re: Ulthuan United - my first foray with a true agility team
 Post Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2016 8:41 am 
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