The Amazons who beat Dwarves
- or -
Why I'm keeping a Blitzer with a Niggling Injury
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How to roll 10's on Armor Rolls and make Dwarves cry Salty Tears into their Beards
My Amazon team, Valkiriya Vinland
, (you can see them here
) recently played their Week 2 matchup against Dwarves. (The schedule; 8 weeks of Necros, Dwarves, Undead, High Elves, Chaos, Norse, Chaos Dwarves, Wood Elves).
Valkiriya won week 1 but had caused no casualties; and with week 2 against Dwarves, I wasn't counting on that to change. I had 12 players and an Apothecary going into the game, the Dwarves had 11 players (including one journeyman) and no Apo.
Perfect weather, Valkiriya have +1 FAME and win the toss (after three tied rolls).
Throw a Rock! I win the roll straight up, and one of my fans tosses a brick, beaning a Dwarf Blitzer right in the head. MNG, and nobody dared make a "throws like a girl" joke. So 11 on 10 right from the whistle.
The Blitzer had been screening a Runner who was now exposed. And who of course got blitzed. And knocked down. Unwilling to dodge away, he simply stood up for the Dwarves' turn, and got blocked down again ... Badly Hurt. 11 on 9.
Turn 3, a Dwarf Lineman thinks he's going to mark two Amazons. Block, knockdown, DEAD DEAD DEAD. Dwarves had knocked out a Linewoman at this point, so it was only 10 on 8. But Dwarves really, really don't play well when outnumbered. Most Dwarven players spent the rest of the drive on their backs. (No more injuries, but the damage had been done. TD Amazons in turn 8.)
Second half, 8 Dwarves on offense vs 11 Amazons. Pitch Invasion! Dwarves roll relatively well, so despite Valkiriya's +1 FAME, three players on each side are stunned. But 5 on 8 isn't really much better, and it's all the Dwarves can manage to cage up and protect the ball. Under constant pressure, they never made it even to midfield.
Their slayer ran out to try to make some room to the side, got knocked down for his trouble. And I got greedy, and fouled him. 4 assists weren't enough (1+2 on the dice) but at least the Ref decided it was harmless.
Why was I fouling toward the end of a game which was as good as decided? Anybody who even asks this has clearly not played enough games against Dwarves.
Anyway, this pissed off the Slayer and his coach. He runs in a few assists, Slayer stands up and blitzes Blitzer #3 Asyra. Pow. 8. 10. Niggling.
Apothecary offers death instead. I take the Niggling.
Tactically this was good for me, it forced the Dwarves to move backwards and all but eliminated the (already remote) possibility of a TD. Nothing much happened for the rest of the game, and Valkiriya Vinland wins, 1-0, 2-1 CAS. Much, much better than I'd dared to hope for going into the game.
AV7 Blitzer with a Niggling Injury is going to suck, there's no hiding this. She scored a TD in game 1 and already has 3 SPP. I am well aware that she's going to be targeted, and while Blodge is great, she'll still get knocked down all the time.
But I can't fire her. Every time I look at that niggling injury on my roster, I smile and remember, oh yeah, that's from the game where AMAZONS BEAT DWARVES.
(Sure it was lucky, but so what? AMAZONS BEAT DWARVES).
The Dwarf coach in question reads TFF. Let's see if he reads this and replies
"It's 2+ and I have a reroll. Chill out. I've got this!"