Talk Fantasy Football

As a response to Torg's campaign against the mighty deity who steers our players' fates, I am hereby starting a new faction: the Reformed United New Church of Redeeming Nuffle (or RUNCORN).

I hereby declare myself high Heirophant.

Who's with me against the blasphemers?

Didn't you realise that starting your own church and declaring yourself as it's head is blasphemy? You are just aiding our cause.

Nuffle will bring down his wrath on those who do not show due respect.
Praise ye the mighty Nuffle.

What would Nuffle do?

WWND?

I'm in.

Nuffle doesn't punish the unbelievers, he punishes everyone. He is a fickle god who will screw everyone sooner or later. He won't make you roll triple pows for praising him, you're just as likely to roll triple skulls! Remember Nuffle Sucks! Do not praise him, he doesn't deserve it.

You're getting it all wrong. Nuffle will never aid those who pray for good rolls - thats not the way to do things! Pray for your opponent to miss that dodge roll and lo his blessings shall rain upon you! Hallelujah!

So you are praying for your opponant to miss his roll, in other words, you are cursing your opponant. You think that praising Nuffle will curse those who play against you?? You are mad!! Nuffle screws with everyone equally and will screw you as well even if you praise him, so why bother, just curse him instead.

Nuffle smiles upon those who are true unto him. Any bad rolls are merely ways to point us towards true blessings. Just look at my Blitzers - had one MA6 Blitzer die, bought a replacement , and in the six games or thereabouts since said blitzer has 6TDs and twice as many SPPs as the old one got in more games!
Praise be to Nuffle who brings such bounties!

sorry boys... i was born a snakehandler and i'll die a snakehandler...

(is there any occasion for which there _isn't_ a relevant quote from the simpsons?)

And Lo did he see a Pow-er
And the Pow-er did come to him in his turn of need.
For such is the Blessedness of Nuffle
That he shall come to thee in thine turn of need.

Quote from the Book of Nuffle, 1st half, 3rd turn, Verses 3 and 4.

AMEN MY BROTHER!
Hear ye the teachings of Archbishop Newboy and believe!

Phil - I think I speak for us all when I say HUH?
(is there any occasion for which there _isn't_ a relevant quote "Buffy the vampire slayer"?)

Thadrin wrote:(is there any occasion for which there _isn't_ a relevant quote "Buffy the vampire slayer"?)

i'm not sure... i'm probably the only geek on earth who's never seen a single episode of buffy (well, i think i saw one once, but only like hgalf of it, and i was cleaning my apartment or something at the time, so i couldn't really tell you what was going on...

phil wrote:

Thadrin wrote:(is there any occasion for which there _isn't_ a relevant quote "Buffy the vampire slayer"?)

i'm not sure... i'm probably the only geek on earth who's never seen a single episode of buffy

What!??! That's what I call real blasphemy!

i just don't watch a lot of tv... i watch sports, iron chef, and the simpsons... i'm really more of a music-listener than a tv-watcher...

To those who think that a deity rules their dice rolls: you'll probably fall for this old method: when you get the feeling that you get more than your fair share of bad rolls, don't blame a craven image, blame the dice! Just make a note of which dice is the most "offensive" one, then wait for the next half moon to come up. Then gather all your BB dice together & place the "offender in plain view of all the other dice. Solemnly sentence him with a little speech, then -Supplicium! smash him to pieces with a mallet, torch him with a torch, douse him in acid, scatter the remains to the four winds. Your other dies will be shocked into a state of mute obeisance and will be well behaved - for some time at least. Repeat as necessary.
For "milder" cases you can just drop your die off in a seedy area of your hometown & leave them there, cold, alone & afraid for a few days. Then gather them up again if they promise to behave nicely.