THE CHURCH OF NUFFLE

Skummy · Post by **Skummy** » Mon Apr 21, 2003 12:57 pm

What is the Reformed Church of Nuffle's official position on colored base rings?

lawquoter · Post by **lawquoter** » Mon Apr 21, 2003 12:58 pm

Sushé Wakka wrote:The funny part about this, is that it can be seen the other way round. I mean, the time you're rolling POW, he's helping you. When you roll the consecutive 1s on the GFI, he's helping your rival. That will show you all, the NBA and the RUNCORN, that you're just a bunch of people with too much free time and nothing better to do with it. You'd better meet the path of the scholar, and learn from the texts the way to play properly a game (Something I'm still doing).

No, you see, when you're being "blessed" and your opponent is getting screwed, all that happens is Nuffle put his pin cushion doll of you down, picked up your opponent, and with a drooly, slobbering grin, started sticking your opponent. He just got bored screwing you. Then when you start to get crappy dice rolls? Yup, that's when he picked your pin cushion doll up. It's really nasty when he's holding both and just sticks away...thats when all the double downs w/ no block, and so on, occurs. Geez, the church of Nuffle must have us beat on the brainwashing Kool Aid.

Skummy · Post by **Skummy** » Mon Apr 21, 2003 1:01 pm

Mmmm. Kool-Aid.

Post by **Thadrin** » Mon Apr 21, 2003 1:04 pm

lawquoter wrote: No, you see, when you're being "blessed" and your opponent is getting screwed, all that happens is Nuffle put his pin cushion doll of you down, picked up your opponent, and with a drooly, slobbering grin, started sticking your opponent. He just got bored screwing you. Then when you start to get crappy dice rolls? Yup, that's when he picked your pin cushion doll up. It's really nasty when he's holding both and just sticks away...thats when all the double downs w/ no block, and so on, occurs. Geez, the church of Nuffle must have us beat on the brainwashing Kool Aid.

Nuffle screws us all over occasionally, so we do not forget that truly we are laid upon his mercy.
However, he will provide when the faithful are deserving, smiting the heretics with skulls!

(Base rings? I don't think RUNCORN has a position. If you wish to use them they will certainly not draw the wrath of Nuffle almighty....if you don't he doesn't mind either.)

phil · Post by **phil** » Mon Apr 21, 2003 1:09 pm

Skummy wrote:What is the Reformed Church of Nuffle's official position on colored base rings?

it's contentious.... the Orthodox believe in keeping just the original 5 colors, the Reformed have added 4 new colors to add a bit more diversity and more accurately portray the positional nature of the players involved, while the Conservative branch uses 3 new ones but still looks down on the Reformed as being foolishly divergent from the true laws of Nuffle... unfortunately, the schism has caused so much infighting that the three denomenations bear almost as much animosity toward each other as they do the unbelievers... and are thus incapable of presenting a unified front which could muster sufficient numbers to really impact world policy...

Corlus · Post by **Corlus** » Mon Apr 21, 2003 2:03 pm

Praise Nuffle for he has shown us the way of Bloodbowl. Bad dice rolls are the price we must pay ofr the right to look upon it. (Certainly is cheaper than the 10% the Catholics are charging

)

Snew · Post by **Snew** » Mon Apr 21, 2003 3:50 pm

phil wrote:i'm patiently waiting for an athlete to come out and blame god for a loss for a change.... i mean, logically speaking, if they are going to give him the credit for their wins, they have to assign blame when they lose, don't they?

No. All good comes from God. When bad thing happen, they are being allowed by God so that we may learn from them. They are not being caused by Him.

BlanchPrez · Post by **BlanchPrez** » Mon Apr 21, 2003 4:31 pm

phil wrote:i'm not sure... i'm probably the only geek on earth who's never seen a single episode of buffy (well, i think i saw one once, but only like hgalf of it, and i was cleaning my apartment or something at the time, so i couldn't really tell you what was going on...

I'm in the same boat as you on this one.

Chris

sean newboy · Post by **sean newboy** » Mon Apr 21, 2003 9:26 pm

Skummy wrote:
What is the Reformed Church of Nuffle's official position on colored base rings?

it's contentious.... the Orthodox believe in keeping just the original 5 colors, the Reformed have added 4 new colors to add a bit more diversity and more accurately portray the positional nature of the players involved, while the Conservative branch uses 3 new ones but still looks down on the Reformed as being foolishly divergent from the true laws of Nuffle... unfortunately, the schism has caused so much infighting that the three denomenations bear almost as much animosity toward each other as they do the unbelievers... and are thus incapable of presenting a unified front which could muster sufficient numbers to really impact world policy...

Although essentially correct, it should be noticed that all of the denominations have agreed to completely ignore rings or lack of rings for the immediate future. The United Congress of Nuffle Churches meets in 2 years for its 10 year meeting where baserings are up for a vote. At that time a Universal Law of Baserings will be formulated. The above is an example of when Laypeople (even especially gifted ones) attempt to explain theological rulings to the uninitiated.

Nuffle said unto the Coach Umrial,
"Let the Rings guide you to my Truth,
But let them not make a Fool of you in thine eyes."

1st half, 5th turn, verse 2.

Darkson · Post by **Darkson** » Mon Apr 21, 2003 10:29 pm

Skummy wrote:What is the Reformed Church of Nuffle's official position on colored base rings?

Sitting on it's fat arse probably

Colin · Post by **Colin** » Mon Apr 21, 2003 11:13 pm

Thadrin wrote:Nuffle screws us all over occasionally

I'm glad you agree with us! We will make you an honourary heretic!

Post by **Thadrin** » Tue Apr 22, 2003 5:11 am

But you misunderstand Torg. Nuffle does not make us suffer so to our detriment, as you claim - the beneficient father gives us the lows so that we may truly appreciate the highs, and understand our opponent's suffering.

Thanks be to Nuffle.

Colin · Post by **Colin** » Tue Apr 22, 2003 5:16 am

What a load of crap! Nuffle screws with everyone, not because of some overall divine plan, but because he is an insane and fickle god, nothing more.

Darkson · Post by **Darkson** » Tue Apr 22, 2003 6:52 am

Nuffle did have a masterplan once, but he left it on the bus so now he makes it up as he goes along, and just screws everyone.

Redfang · Post by **Redfang** » Tue Apr 22, 2003 8:31 am

Oh, you're all just religious freaks. Nuffle Does Not Exist! And still you all give him your attention and worship in your own stupid little ways. Fools.

R